AIBU for shouting after being locked out with my sick child?

The chain was on?

why? Is that normal?

sounds highly suspicious

My DH has this same disease called absent-mindedly-putting the chain-and-locking-wife-out; only respite is that he answers the door if I bang on it
hate it with a passion.

He knows he's absentminded but isn't doing anything to help - like use alarm on phone as a reminder, post-it note on computer screen, whatever.
I get your frustration

But why did he put the chain on in the first place? Seems such an odd thing to do. Don't blame you for shouting. Sounds so stressful and unnecessary.

You're chatting pure shit here. Nobody's mum told them at age 7 they can do exactly what they want because they're female you fool.

I’d be as angry as you. Furious. What a twit. And I’d want him to explain really clearly why he put the chain when you went out. I’d want an explanation.

They are. Or, they are all married to totally useless men and assume that all men are like that.

As for those of you who have suggested nefarious deeds as being the reason the chain was on...omg, are you that bored?

You shouldn't still be 'really angry'. Have you never made a mistake?

Hear hear, but this is the wrong audience for that, I fear. You only have to look at the first few messages implying that he was doing something nefarious.

But why would he put the chain on when it’s not night time and DS isn’t home? I would have been beyond calming. I was angry enough when DH put the bolt on when he knew i was out late and didn’t answer the phone. For fifteen minutes I thought i was spending the night in the porch until he finally answered his phone. I went ballistic at him so you have my sympathies. I didn’t have a sick child to worry about.

FFS OP is holding herself responsible. She is disabled herself and stuck outside in dangerously hot weather with her poorly child who is autistic and non-verbal who is ill enough for the school to ring OP to pick him up. That's a frightening situation for her child and she lost her temper. She knows that it was wrong. It's absolutely nothing like the behaviour of some of the abusive men that women post about on here.

Many posters on this thread never lose their cool. They've certainly never had a row over something stupid and...shouted. God forbid.

No, we are among the mature and regulated. Their husbands never miss the mark and they never row.
Thankfully we can all learn from their very realistic opinions.

What a relief you didn't bump into his mistress sneaking out the back door after you climbed under the fence!

I'm just being MNetty OP.

It's just one of those things. It's hot an we are all feeling a bit absent minded (him) and irritable (you). It would have been awful in this heat with a sick dc (and poor him too). Hope you are both inside and cooling down. What a day for a vomiting bug.

Get a locking chain my mom had one on her door it means the person inside has the benefits of a chain and the person (with a key) coming in can unlock it and still get in

(My dad was a night shift worker so mom wanted security but didn't want to get up at 6am to let her husband in)

How many times has he screamed at you because of a mistake you made over the years?

Agree it’s a sign you are at end of tether reacting as you did. Not sure if you have any options for respite or could begin to explore that. You need to look after yourself.

Some men say they are impotent, by the way, because they are addicted to pornography and prefer wanking to sex.

Zero malice but zero recognition that once you have kids you cannot be oblivious. Does he share the mental load?

Totally disagree.
He went out of his way to keep you and your disabled son locked out of the house on the hottest day of the year, when your son had been sick no less. He knew what was happening and forced you into a position of burrowing under a fucking fence to get you and your son inside.
He wins the arsehole award, not you OP!!

What on earth? OP under-reacted if anything. I’d have gone absolutely batshit crazy at him. It was so utterly thoughtless of him, and he caused his wife and child to suffer. YANBU OP.

If we are interviewing we are in full on professional mode and wouldn’t have personal mobile in room. Noise cancelling headset on. Last thing you need is a candidate complaining to HR you seemed distracted or didn’t follow correct procedures.
If it was a one off incident when he was stressed and mind elsewhere it’s understandable. He’s apologised.
Yes infuriating but ultimately no harm came to anyone.
Hope you have a relaxing evening.

The number one priority is some sort of break or respite for you.

Underneath all of this - that's the need. A huge need for you.

I hope you have family/ support whereby you can get a day off from parenting? A night off sometimes? A chance to go away somewhere? To go to the sea alone and swim?

This is what the need is underlying all this.

Your health is a big priority in this. If it has any link to autoimmunity you have to prioritise managing what you take on. ( I know that's easier said than done ) And don't underestimate how important this is above every other person in this dynamic.

Doing everything to support your health physically and emotionally is good for your children. I say that so you don't feel guilt about wanting some time out of all the responsibility you have to carry here.