AIBU for shouting after being locked out with my sick child?

Just him? I probably wouldn’t if I was mid-interview, no (but I would be very very apologetic).

Sick child? Yes I would have. However the purpose of my post was not to say you were unreasonable. I don’t really think you were. I think we all get pushed to the end of our ropes sometimes. I think the people saying he was wanking/cheating etc are unreasonable.

I’m confused. Define “banging on” do you mean the one post I wrote 😂😂😂

No, it wasn't. Hers was, but as you say, she acknowledged it so I'm not sure why you are banging on about it.

I put the chain on when my husband is out and I’m engrossed in work. So many times I have forgotten to take it back off and he’s had to knock. I am not wanking. I just won’t want anyone sneaking in when I’m not paying attention (and I’m too lazy to fanny about with keys)

Your last sentence is so true. I am a bit like the husband to be honest. So bad with keys, but it’s more I lock myself and the kids out, so I’ve given a key to about 6 local people 😂. If my husband shouted at me for it, I wouldn’t blame him, I hate myself for it too

I think you could replace the chain with one that can be opened from the outside with a key - I remember having one like that in the '90s so I imagine they still exist.

A techy / practical solution doesn't stop your husband being absent minded but does reduce the impact on you and your child so is IMO worth doing. If it was malicious there'd be less point but it doesn't sound like it was so practical solutions to stop his absent mindedness impacting on you.

Also consider, depending on his workplace's peculiarities, phoning reception/ his PA/his boss if you're stuck outside your house in a heatwave with an ill child. They should have ways to get his attention.

Agree.

I doubt some here would be so calm if they were called from work to pick up a sick child only to come home and not be able to get in after they told their DH they had to pick up said child and DH acknowledged this beforehand. Drive around for 30 minutes with the windows down because their DH wasn’t picking up and their neighbor wasn’t home and then had to ask neighbor to lift fence so they could get in the house (having a physical disability themselves) through the back and undo the chain to open door and get sick child inside. If I have read OP’s posts correctly.

It may not have been his intent to put the chain on , but it still impacted OP and child negatively.

If your memory is that bad, surely you should have ways by now to combat that so it doesn’t effect others.

All is well. Good news.

But she acknowledged she doesn’t think it’s ok that she shouted. We all make mistakes. His was bigger

You've earned this today OP, enjoy!

I think you overreacted massively but it sounds like you've both dealt with it. I dislike how the mumsnet view is to jump to the worst conclusion.

I've done this. I always have the door locked and latch on when home. Once I did so and dh had forgot his keys otherwise he could have used our back door, he had to do his meeting in the car. Not ideal but I was in the bath so didn't hear my mobile. He had a right moan and I apologised. it wasn't intentional.

You sound tired. Do you both work full time and is there any way you could drop some hours?

Just a thought OP, but is your DH also possibly ND like your children? My DH is autistic with definite ADHD traits and is very absent minded. Forgets things and loses things all the time. Also really not good at answering the phone especially when focused on a task, no multitasking skills whatsoever. He has to set alarms and reminders for everything and has also left pots on the hob before.

I am glad you apologised to him and recognised that you didn't handle it well. It sounds like you carry a lot of the mental load and are a bit burnt out. It is not easy being the manager of everyone and everything and we all lose our shit sometimes.

That's the perfect resolution and exactly what's needed. Not the hyperbolic "he should leave you, you're abusive" nonsense suggested by loons.

Incidentally, I do have a litter of kittens for watching purposes if required 😊

That sounds a good outcome Op. Hope your son continues to feel better too.

Aw, that sounds like a good end to a challenging episode!

That's a leap talk about suspicious

Yanbu my DP is forgetful and i started to realise its because he has me as his human spreadsheet of things to remember.

I stopped reminding him of anything that impacts only him, which caused a bit of a stink on a few occasions (e.g. hes now had to restart a referral for a health issue from scratch as he missed an appointment with a specialist he waited 18 months to see) but it seems to have worked.

I dont blame you at all for shouting he was a total buffoon and i bet he isnt absent minded or forgetful in work.