How often have you really shouted/lost your temper at your partner/spouse?
I’ve been with my DH for over 20 years. We generally have a calm relationship. Neither of us are perfect obviously but we generally divide stuff up fairly well. We’ve probably only had 2/3 serious blow-ups in that time.
They all stem from his shit memory.
Today I screamed at him like I’ve never before. He was in the wrong but people still shouldn’t be shouted at. I was so angry and still am. I’m not sure what’s next.
He’s wfh today. I was called to collect our youngest son from school. I told him and he acknowledged the message - he’s interviewing all day so had limited opportunities to communicate which I get.
I arrived back home to the chain on the door. For no fucking reason. I rang the door, messaged and called him. Nothing (and I can see he didn’t read the messages). I drove around for 30 ish mins with windows down because I couldn’t sit on the drive in the car with sick DS and my neighbour wasn’t home.
After half an hour my neighbour returned home and very kindly yanked up her fence so I could climb under and get in.
So we’re in and he came down after his meeting finished oblivious and I screamed at him that he was stupid and to go away.
He’s upstairs interviewing again. I’m calmer but still angry.
Points to note:
DS is autistic with high support needs - he’s 8 but intellectually more like a 2/3 year old. He’s non verbal and cannot communicate how he feels. I collected him because he’d been sick at school.
I have a mobility issue. Getting under the fence was a significant challenge.
There is zero reason for the chain to be on.
I had messaged him repeatedly and called him too. Even if he couldn’t answer I think that a phone repeatedly buzzing when you know your wife was collecting your sick child warrants at least a glance.
I don’t even know what my AIBU is. I’m angry with him and disappointed in myself for losing my rag.