AIBU for shouting after being locked out with my sick child?

This really is a strange avenue and probably demonstrative of the low bar we set for men.

I think have a cold shower, get a cold glass of wine and forget about it. There’s nothing to be gained here m.

But then her autistic child functioning at age 2 or 3 yr old level can get out. Yes it was silly thing to do to accidentally put chain on but no one was harmed. Better that than her child getting out and killed on road.

Frankly, what you are doing now, keeping on and on at OP about her mental health, is abusive. She's not saying what she did was right, she's a human being who was under great stress with a sick child. If you never lose your cool, I think that's arguably quite concerning.

The crazies are out today so you may get some wild responses.

I’ve shouted at mine before, there would have been a reason/trigger, but I’ve apologised immediately afterwards. Ultimately you know it was an accident, even if he was idiotic, and he knows that you aren’t normally screaming at him. I think you can both apologise and move on like nothing happened, because really it didn’t.

but tell him he needs to be less of a divvy 😂

How do you know ? He's not likely to tell you is he and most blokes will do it sometimes when their wives / gf aren't around even if they deny it. It's not a dirty little secret but a lot of women would say "He doesn't do that."

Rather than engaging with the man trolling the thread by pretending to be a woman (“fair player,” yeah right) just report him so that the mods can ban that account. He has posted so much misogynistic nonsense that there’s really no point in even responding.

This.

Wtf…he didn’t leave her outside to masturbate…what bizarre comment to make.

Your reaction is very understandable. I'd be furious. Take the chain off the door so he can't do it again.

Feels like we are feeding a troll. OP - you’re ok. You’re not an abuser. You blew your stack after a frustrating and upsetting incident. It happens. Most people do it in some shape or form. That’s like. It’s over now. Don’t dwell on it.

Plus, it is exceptionally hot and not everyone is managing well in the heat.

One hundred per cent he was up to no good. Me and my DH work from home. Many times, even when interviewing I have had to interject and interrupt the meeting. I would have said ‘Sorry, do excuse me, my husband is locked out, I just need to dash off for thirty seconds and let him in, my apologies, back in a second.

He isn’t performing heart surgery, he is allowed to leave his post, can he genuinely not hear the door, or see that you called repeatedly?

He put the chain on to have a wank, watch porn, chat to someone he shouldn’t. The chain banging ensures he has time to finish whatever he shouldn’t be doing.

WFH like being in an office means you sometimes have to react to the things happening around you. Nothing bad happens if you answer the door or say I’ll ring you back.

I have never wanted to report any poster on here. And have not felt compelled to....until you.

This is so wholly unacceptable what you are doing. I am now convinced you're either a man or a Stepford Wife enigma.

It is not acceptable at all to continually berate a vulnerable poster coming here acknowledging a mistake and seeking support. Seeking support and constructive advice as a woman in the very vulnerable position all women are in within a male / female relationship. Vulnerability even more accentuated with a disabled child.

So utterly unacceptable of you.

I have zero doubt OP is typically mopping up everyone's shit and is not an abuser.

Your continual insistence and pattern of posts, including the suggestion of OPs mental illness, is however concerning me immensely.

There was no duress. There was a mistake. The OP has clarified that her husband is attentive to his responsibilities to their child and home

Sigh. Reductio ad absurdum.
No one has said that.
Circumstances are key.

So am adult who screams and shouts at people shouldn't be held accountable? Or only women?

Yes I agree. Shouting isn't right, but it's not the worst thing. I guess this poster would side with my abusive ex who used to drip cruel insults in my ear all day and then ask me what was wrong with me when I eventually cracked and got upset. People can be awful quietly, not everyone who loses their temper under duress is abusive.

What a prat putting the chain on!

Id be fuming too.

She hasn't said that. Besides, you leave partners who make you unhappy. You don't abuse them

OP, I think you are getting more sympathy here than condemnation, many of us can well understand what it's like to be at the end of your tether in circumstances such as yours.
You’ve apologised.
Don’t let people who have no real knowledge of you and your situation blame you regardless.
It’s all very well to be holier than thou but this kind of self righteousness is not pleasant to see. People might consider taking a step back before apportioning blame.

I am giving costructive supprt by making it VERY clear that the behaviour is abusive and she should get help. That is constructive. What isnt constructive is allowing OP to minimise her abusive behaviour and that it is acceptable to behave that way when you feel provoked. This is exactly what I'd say to man who screamed at his wife for leaving the chain on the door hours before he arrived home.

DH (also WFH) sometimes locks me out if the postman comes while I’m out. DH just locks the door afterwards out of habit because we always keep it locked. Then I can’t get in because the keys are in the other side.

Is that what happened? Your DH answered the door then put the chain on out of habit?

The difference is my DH comes down to let me in when I ring the bell/message/call. Your DH should have excused himself quickly to do the same.

Shouting isn’t good obviously but I don’t think you were abusive. You were angry and stressed and worried about your DS.

With an ND husband, I'd bet my life there has been a life time of drip drip, OP as the wife, has to put up and shut up with. Even if not all entirely his fault.