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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask my neighbour to bring her laundry in?

464 replies

Lookingback01 · 24/06/2026 15:33

I've name changed for this because I feel a bit silly to be posting, but it's driving me crazy so I need some advice.

We live in a new build next door to another couple who recently moved in. Our gardens are pretty close together and only really separated by a small fence that we can easily see over when standing.

We're all mid-thirties and they're a nice enough couple, are polite and friendly, keep themselves to themselves and are pretty quiet, so no problems there.

The issue I'm having is that the woman is objectively beautiful, very toned, slim, etc. Today she's obviously taking full advantage of the lovely weather we're having here and has decided to hang her underwear out on the line to dry. When I say underwear, I'm not talking about the simple black briefs and maternity bras that I'm currently wearing, but beautiful skimpy Victoria's Secret type stuff.

I don't know if it's my hormones or what the issue is, but this is making me feel so jealous because I keep thinking that my DH is looking at her underwear and will start to fancy her, if he doesn't already.

I was thinking that I could write her a small, friendly note just asking if she would mind bringing them inside. I mean, they're so skimpy that they'll probably be dry by now, anyway. I don't have the nerve to ask her face to face because part of me knows I'm being ridiculous, but I can't help how I feel and have been sitting here crying all afternoon imagining her and my DH together.

He thinks I'm acting crazy and said that if I send her a note, he will go to his mum's for the night because it would be absolutely mortifying.

AIBU?

OP posts:
QuintadosMalvados · 24/06/2026 19:18

You've got to take a more philosophical attitude.
My washing line is near the next door neighbour's wall which as well as being quite high is a popular spot for the local cats to chill out on.
They often fall asleep and I like to think that if they were to fall off and wake up mid fall they'd be able to use my knickers as a parachute.
I see my neighbour's super skimpy sexy size 8 undies and think 'Hmm. You won't be saving Tiddles' like I am and I feel all superior.
You should try it.

ThatShyMoose · 24/06/2026 19:14

You can always tell when the schools are off. Bang on time as well.

Frugalgal · 24/06/2026 19:11

Lookingback01 · 24/06/2026 15:33

I've name changed for this because I feel a bit silly to be posting, but it's driving me crazy so I need some advice.

We live in a new build next door to another couple who recently moved in. Our gardens are pretty close together and only really separated by a small fence that we can easily see over when standing.

We're all mid-thirties and they're a nice enough couple, are polite and friendly, keep themselves to themselves and are pretty quiet, so no problems there.

The issue I'm having is that the woman is objectively beautiful, very toned, slim, etc. Today she's obviously taking full advantage of the lovely weather we're having here and has decided to hang her underwear out on the line to dry. When I say underwear, I'm not talking about the simple black briefs and maternity bras that I'm currently wearing, but beautiful skimpy Victoria's Secret type stuff.

I don't know if it's my hormones or what the issue is, but this is making me feel so jealous because I keep thinking that my DH is looking at her underwear and will start to fancy her, if he doesn't already.

I was thinking that I could write her a small, friendly note just asking if she would mind bringing them inside. I mean, they're so skimpy that they'll probably be dry by now, anyway. I don't have the nerve to ask her face to face because part of me knows I'm being ridiculous, but I can't help how I feel and have been sitting here crying all afternoon imagining her and my DH together.

He thinks I'm acting crazy and said that if I send her a note, he will go to his mum's for the night because it would be absolutely mortifying.

AIBU?

Yes you're being batshit , totally, totally batshit but what I can't fathom is you drawing his attention to them on the line and telling him about it, you're literally putting the idea in his mind to think about her in the underwear 😂

Bristolandlazy · 24/06/2026 19:11

Replace your fence and your knickers.

caringcarer · 24/06/2026 19:11

You are hot and hormonal. You are not being g rational ATM. Promise to buy yourself some new sexy underwear after baby is born.

CalamityLane · 24/06/2026 19:09

Absolutely not. A whole other level of crazy.

How would you feel if she asked you to take your maternity bra off your washing line because they offended her? You never know what is going on for people maybe she is jealous of your situation....

Hobnobswantshernameback · 24/06/2026 19:03

There is really no depths of batshittery that mumsnet will not sink to
Dear god

Crosorbled · 24/06/2026 19:03

My previous neighbour’s wife hung out his very large unfashionable briefs . I would love to have suggested they hang those items out of my line of sight . It really spoilt the view !

PrettyLittleRose · 24/06/2026 18:59

Have you asked her yet @Lookingback01 ?

Littlejellyuk · 24/06/2026 18:58

I haven't read the full thread.
At first I though this might be rage bait and I was going to reply - STAY IN YOUR LANE! 😆

But I read your replies and I remember how hard it was being pregnant and feeling all kinds of mixed emotions. 🫂

So the only thing I can add is;

  1. Please DON'T speak to your neighbour 🙅‍♀️
  2. Please buy nicer underwear for yourself 👙
  3. Please invest in buying /building/erecting a taller fence to enable privacy! 🪵

I hope you feel better soon @Lookingback01 💕

OchreReader · 24/06/2026 18:49

In the 70s/80s Pippa Dee parties were popular and the neighbours would usually be invited round, meaning that about 4 women living in close proximity would end up with the same jumper. I remember finding it hysterical that my mum would check next door didn’t have hers on the line before she hung hers out, because the neighbour’s was a smaller size 😂 I grew up in a council scheme so houses were pretty close together.

OP I’m sorry you’re feeling like this, but you have no reason to be jealous. You’re more likely to damage your relationship by making out he can’t control himself over next door’s knickers

BettyscakeShop · 24/06/2026 18:47

This is one of the most unhinged things I’ve read on mumsnet.

openended · 24/06/2026 18:39

She will think you are batshit. You should look into a higher fence or some extra panelling so you can't see through the fence. It is likely just hormones but if you suffer from low self esteem I would take steps to work on that.

LilyBunch25 · 24/06/2026 18:38

You just can't 🙈

Jiddles · 24/06/2026 18:37

You would make yourself look absolutely ridiculous.

ForNoisyCat · 24/06/2026 18:36

Lookingback01 · 24/06/2026 15:33

I've name changed for this because I feel a bit silly to be posting, but it's driving me crazy so I need some advice.

We live in a new build next door to another couple who recently moved in. Our gardens are pretty close together and only really separated by a small fence that we can easily see over when standing.

We're all mid-thirties and they're a nice enough couple, are polite and friendly, keep themselves to themselves and are pretty quiet, so no problems there.

The issue I'm having is that the woman is objectively beautiful, very toned, slim, etc. Today she's obviously taking full advantage of the lovely weather we're having here and has decided to hang her underwear out on the line to dry. When I say underwear, I'm not talking about the simple black briefs and maternity bras that I'm currently wearing, but beautiful skimpy Victoria's Secret type stuff.

I don't know if it's my hormones or what the issue is, but this is making me feel so jealous because I keep thinking that my DH is looking at her underwear and will start to fancy her, if he doesn't already.

I was thinking that I could write her a small, friendly note just asking if she would mind bringing them inside. I mean, they're so skimpy that they'll probably be dry by now, anyway. I don't have the nerve to ask her face to face because part of me knows I'm being ridiculous, but I can't help how I feel and have been sitting here crying all afternoon imagining her and my DH together.

He thinks I'm acting crazy and said that if I send her a note, he will go to his mum's for the night because it would be absolutely mortifying.

AIBU?

My old neighbour asked me not to hang my skimpies outdoors as she didn’t want her husband looking at them. As they dry quickly anyway it’s no big deal to hang them indoors. That was years ago and im still careful that others don’t see my underwear drying.

FirstOneToBlathers · 24/06/2026 18:32

Sounds like hormones to me, I cried over some silly things when pregnant. Please don't write the letter though.

dizzydizzydizzy · 24/06/2026 18:30

Gettingbysomehow · 24/06/2026 15:47

My neighbours detest washing on lines and are very vocal about it, they think it loers the tone of the neighnourhood. I dont have children at home and its no skin off my nose to hang washing in my spare room.
They are great neighbours and its not a hill I would die on. I just dont care so I dont do it.
Most people on here bang on about doing what the hell they want on their own property but I think why wind them up when they are otherwise great neighbours. We all have to live in close proximity so why deliberately bait people.
I dont particularly want to see peoples pants either.

Your neighbours are strange. I can’t see how any reasonable person could be offended by a line of clean washing blowing in the wind. It is a totally normal thing to do that people have been doing for ever all over rhe world.

YourOliveBalonz · 24/06/2026 18:21

That’s possibly a bit more than just hormones, are you struggling in other ways with your mental health or general thought processes? The good thing about pregnancy is regular access to medical care, so perhaps have a chat with midwife who can refer you to perinatal mental health team in your area? Something to consider if you’re not laughing this off as a weird pregnancy moment later on.

SandyLanes · 24/06/2026 18:19

I wouldn’t be too gleeful just yet OP. I jumped on the circle line after work to run an errand and it was working fine. Am now on the Central line on my way home, also fine. Sorry to disappoint.

MeAndTheDoggo · 24/06/2026 18:17

Sorry, it may be the heat. Please don’t follow with this idea. It’s a bit like a drunk text You’ll regret it

Steeleydan · 24/06/2026 18:16

Lookingback01 · 24/06/2026 15:33

I've name changed for this because I feel a bit silly to be posting, but it's driving me crazy so I need some advice.

We live in a new build next door to another couple who recently moved in. Our gardens are pretty close together and only really separated by a small fence that we can easily see over when standing.

We're all mid-thirties and they're a nice enough couple, are polite and friendly, keep themselves to themselves and are pretty quiet, so no problems there.

The issue I'm having is that the woman is objectively beautiful, very toned, slim, etc. Today she's obviously taking full advantage of the lovely weather we're having here and has decided to hang her underwear out on the line to dry. When I say underwear, I'm not talking about the simple black briefs and maternity bras that I'm currently wearing, but beautiful skimpy Victoria's Secret type stuff.

I don't know if it's my hormones or what the issue is, but this is making me feel so jealous because I keep thinking that my DH is looking at her underwear and will start to fancy her, if he doesn't already.

I was thinking that I could write her a small, friendly note just asking if she would mind bringing them inside. I mean, they're so skimpy that they'll probably be dry by now, anyway. I don't have the nerve to ask her face to face because part of me knows I'm being ridiculous, but I can't help how I feel and have been sitting here crying all afternoon imagining her and my DH together.

He thinks I'm acting crazy and said that if I send her a note, he will go to his mum's for the night because it would be absolutely mortifying.

AIBU?

Please tell me this is a joke,iam actually cringing for you.please do not embarrass yourself, you'll be the laughing stock of the neighbours

Whettlettuce · 24/06/2026 18:10

Asking her to that would make you look unbelievably bat shit and she'd probably assume you were in some kind of mental crisis

Plasticdreams · 24/06/2026 18:05

Lookingback01 · 24/06/2026 15:39

Thank you. I’m going to ignore all the posts suggesting I’m either making this up or have some weird underwear fetish.

I know that I’m being over the top, and I’m generally not a jealous person. DH is great and has never given me any reason not to trust him, so these feelings have really thrown me.

Would she be interested in him and is he better looking than her own partner?
If the answer is no then I suggest you get over it. He’s a man and if she’s attractive, he will have noticed but that doesn’t mean anything would happen.

SaltyCara · 24/06/2026 18:01

SweatySpider321 · 24/06/2026 15:44

Same advice: buy more exciting maternity under wear. Don’t use “your hormones” as excuse to be so unreasonable. You don’t need to stack lots of weight on when pregnant -l didn’t

Some people do naturally put on more weight than others when they're pregnant though. I only gained the weight of the baby, placenta, fluid etc. and pinged back to my pre-baby weight as soon as they were born both times. I then lost more weight while breastfeeding, but I didn't go around being judgy towards women who happened to have the opposite experience. It's mostly blind luck.

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