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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask my neighbour to bring her laundry in?

464 replies

Lookingback01 · 24/06/2026 15:33

I've name changed for this because I feel a bit silly to be posting, but it's driving me crazy so I need some advice.

We live in a new build next door to another couple who recently moved in. Our gardens are pretty close together and only really separated by a small fence that we can easily see over when standing.

We're all mid-thirties and they're a nice enough couple, are polite and friendly, keep themselves to themselves and are pretty quiet, so no problems there.

The issue I'm having is that the woman is objectively beautiful, very toned, slim, etc. Today she's obviously taking full advantage of the lovely weather we're having here and has decided to hang her underwear out on the line to dry. When I say underwear, I'm not talking about the simple black briefs and maternity bras that I'm currently wearing, but beautiful skimpy Victoria's Secret type stuff.

I don't know if it's my hormones or what the issue is, but this is making me feel so jealous because I keep thinking that my DH is looking at her underwear and will start to fancy her, if he doesn't already.

I was thinking that I could write her a small, friendly note just asking if she would mind bringing them inside. I mean, they're so skimpy that they'll probably be dry by now, anyway. I don't have the nerve to ask her face to face because part of me knows I'm being ridiculous, but I can't help how I feel and have been sitting here crying all afternoon imagining her and my DH together.

He thinks I'm acting crazy and said that if I send her a note, he will go to his mum's for the night because it would be absolutely mortifying.

AIBU?

OP posts:
WhisperingHi · 24/06/2026 20:04

Hormones can make you feel crazy things. I bet you’ll feel better in the morning and will be grateful you didn’t talk to her about it.

It’s normal to be frumpy during pregnancy and after. Her knickers are making you feel bad because you’re feeling unattractive - very normal during pregnancy. You’ll feel much more yourself soon enough. Hang in there!

Livpool · 24/06/2026 19:59

YABU - I would laugh in your face if you were my neighbour

Picklelily99 · 24/06/2026 19:56

Lookingback01 · 24/06/2026 15:33

I've name changed for this because I feel a bit silly to be posting, but it's driving me crazy so I need some advice.

We live in a new build next door to another couple who recently moved in. Our gardens are pretty close together and only really separated by a small fence that we can easily see over when standing.

We're all mid-thirties and they're a nice enough couple, are polite and friendly, keep themselves to themselves and are pretty quiet, so no problems there.

The issue I'm having is that the woman is objectively beautiful, very toned, slim, etc. Today she's obviously taking full advantage of the lovely weather we're having here and has decided to hang her underwear out on the line to dry. When I say underwear, I'm not talking about the simple black briefs and maternity bras that I'm currently wearing, but beautiful skimpy Victoria's Secret type stuff.

I don't know if it's my hormones or what the issue is, but this is making me feel so jealous because I keep thinking that my DH is looking at her underwear and will start to fancy her, if he doesn't already.

I was thinking that I could write her a small, friendly note just asking if she would mind bringing them inside. I mean, they're so skimpy that they'll probably be dry by now, anyway. I don't have the nerve to ask her face to face because part of me knows I'm being ridiculous, but I can't help how I feel and have been sitting here crying all afternoon imagining her and my DH together.

He thinks I'm acting crazy and said that if I send her a note, he will go to his mum's for the night because it would be absolutely mortifying.

AIBU?

Gently, I think you need to ask yourself why you're feeling so insecure right now? Have there been any hiccups in your relationship? Do you suffer from low self esteem? Has your body shape changed recently, or have there been unkind remarks made? You know, realistically, your partner is not going to suddenly jump the fence and suggest a shaggy. Sit for a moment and list all the reasons why you're just bloody great!!!

Bowies · 24/06/2026 19:52

What?!

Wobble head under a cold shower.

OneFineDay22 · 24/06/2026 19:50

Lookingback01 · 24/06/2026 15:42

I’m pregnant, so will lose weight once my baby is born.

Your thread suddenly makes sense now. Have you ever heard that pregnant women are totally hormonal and the slightest thing can set them off? That’s what’s happening here. Try not to worry!

It’s good you told your DH and his response is very reassuring and normal too.

Most of us have been there when pregnant (especially if this is a first time pregnancy?) where you suddenly face feelings of insecurity that you might never have experienced before.

Down the line, you’ll look back and laugh.

Bigcat25 · 24/06/2026 19:50

Pregnancy hormones are rough. Wishing you the best op.

BlueFahrenheit · 24/06/2026 19:46

It sounds like the OP needs to purchase a decent set of underwear.

I would kindly tell you where to go if she approached me with this nonsense.

VivienneDelacroix · 24/06/2026 19:42

OtterLovesItsRock · 24/06/2026 19:28

If RC, that won't help, as sex within marriage is a good, and the beauty of embodied creation a cause of rejoicing.

I agree OP could do with pastoral support or counselling.

Edited

Ahh but this woman is clearly a temptress, the church needs to know!

BlueFahrenheit · 24/06/2026 19:42

Avert your eyes, dear.

dementedmummy · 24/06/2026 19:40

Lookingback01 · 24/06/2026 15:33

I've name changed for this because I feel a bit silly to be posting, but it's driving me crazy so I need some advice.

We live in a new build next door to another couple who recently moved in. Our gardens are pretty close together and only really separated by a small fence that we can easily see over when standing.

We're all mid-thirties and they're a nice enough couple, are polite and friendly, keep themselves to themselves and are pretty quiet, so no problems there.

The issue I'm having is that the woman is objectively beautiful, very toned, slim, etc. Today she's obviously taking full advantage of the lovely weather we're having here and has decided to hang her underwear out on the line to dry. When I say underwear, I'm not talking about the simple black briefs and maternity bras that I'm currently wearing, but beautiful skimpy Victoria's Secret type stuff.

I don't know if it's my hormones or what the issue is, but this is making me feel so jealous because I keep thinking that my DH is looking at her underwear and will start to fancy her, if he doesn't already.

I was thinking that I could write her a small, friendly note just asking if she would mind bringing them inside. I mean, they're so skimpy that they'll probably be dry by now, anyway. I don't have the nerve to ask her face to face because part of me knows I'm being ridiculous, but I can't help how I feel and have been sitting here crying all afternoon imagining her and my DH together.

He thinks I'm acting crazy and said that if I send her a note, he will go to his mum's for the night because it would be absolutely mortifying.

AIBU?

In a kindly way, this is a you problem. Unless your DH has given any indication he is thinking about straying, you are being entirely unreasonable to them both. Embrace being pregnant - your usual body size will be back after baby is born. Pregnancy is a wild ride hormonal wise. Do not understand any circumstances go to the neighbour about her washing - you will look unhinged and make her uncomfortable about something you have dreamt up that is not reality. Congratulations on impending bubba

PrincessFiorimonde · 24/06/2026 19:35

I have been on this site for about 16 years and I don't think I've ever written a harsh post before. But there's always a first time!

Either get a new husband whom you can trust, or get a life where you don't need to worry about such nonsense.

ilovesooty · 24/06/2026 19:35

socks1107 · 24/06/2026 16:41

No you musnt. If you dh has form for cheating or looking at other women that’s a problem with him not your neighbour drying her washing

She says he hasn't so it's an OP problem.

CustardySergeant · 24/06/2026 19:33

WTF is the matter with you? I have never looked at a neighbour's laundry in my entire life and I'm 100% sure my husband hasn't either! That you've been crying imagining her and your husband together means you need psychological treatment sooner rather than later. This is not normal or healthy. Please get help.

Honeyhonay · 24/06/2026 19:32

PrettyLittleRose · 24/06/2026 19:28

Yeah, they will probably enjoy looking at the hot neighbour.

She’s an adult wearing thongs so she’s probably too old for them. 🫢

TheQueensTeacup · 24/06/2026 19:30

Well the schools are all out early. They need to practice their essay writing

OtterLovesItsRock · 24/06/2026 19:30

PrettyLittleRose · 24/06/2026 19:28

Yeah, they will probably enjoy looking at the hot neighbour.

For all we know, she is an Anglican ordinand. Some young clergy are VERY fit.

OtterLovesItsRock · 24/06/2026 19:29

Nofunnybusiness · 24/06/2026 19:18

OP I wouldn't want to see my neighbours skimpy underwear on the line either but for other reasons, and i would not hang mine up for neighbours to see. You need to get an older male relative to come over make an orqward comment to her about how nice they are and where she gets them from, that should stop her (or get a higher fence) I don't think you can write a note.

...enlist men to harass her into shame? Fuck that

Flamingojune · 24/06/2026 19:29

PrettyLittleRose · 24/06/2026 19:28

Yeah, they will probably enjoy looking at the hot neighbour.

Or would she be too old?

PrettyLittleRose · 24/06/2026 19:28

VivienneDelacroix · 24/06/2026 19:20

Contact the local diocese.

Yeah, they will probably enjoy looking at the hot neighbour.

OtterLovesItsRock · 24/06/2026 19:28

VivienneDelacroix · 24/06/2026 19:20

Contact the local diocese.

If RC, that won't help, as sex within marriage is a good, and the beauty of embodied creation a cause of rejoicing.

I agree OP could do with pastoral support or counselling.

PrettyLittleRose · 24/06/2026 19:27

ThatShyMoose · 24/06/2026 19:14

You can always tell when the schools are off. Bang on time as well.

The schools are not off. Not in England and Wales anyway.

And what if they were? Why would children be posting on Mumsnet?

Why do people always make this ludicrous comment? That if a daft thread is posted it must be schoolkids? Confused

OtterLovesItsRock · 24/06/2026 19:26

So I wasn't imagining it when women coldshouldered me or acted like they hated me in my skinny, lingerie-wearing youth.

I hope the neighbour buys a deck chair, a jacuzzi, and a trampoline.

Zero sympathy for haters.

SlashBeef · 24/06/2026 19:24

This is bordering on abusive behaviour from you and I get tired of the hormones excuse. It reminds me of that tv show years ago about that woman who wouldn't let her husband look at or talk to other women because she was so jealous. It should have very much stayed an inside thought.

VivienneDelacroix · 24/06/2026 19:20

Contact the local diocese.

Nofunnybusiness · 24/06/2026 19:18

OP I wouldn't want to see my neighbours skimpy underwear on the line either but for other reasons, and i would not hang mine up for neighbours to see. You need to get an older male relative to come over make an orqward comment to her about how nice they are and where she gets them from, that should stop her (or get a higher fence) I don't think you can write a note.