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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask my neighbour to bring her laundry in?

464 replies

Lookingback01 · 24/06/2026 15:33

I've name changed for this because I feel a bit silly to be posting, but it's driving me crazy so I need some advice.

We live in a new build next door to another couple who recently moved in. Our gardens are pretty close together and only really separated by a small fence that we can easily see over when standing.

We're all mid-thirties and they're a nice enough couple, are polite and friendly, keep themselves to themselves and are pretty quiet, so no problems there.

The issue I'm having is that the woman is objectively beautiful, very toned, slim, etc. Today she's obviously taking full advantage of the lovely weather we're having here and has decided to hang her underwear out on the line to dry. When I say underwear, I'm not talking about the simple black briefs and maternity bras that I'm currently wearing, but beautiful skimpy Victoria's Secret type stuff.

I don't know if it's my hormones or what the issue is, but this is making me feel so jealous because I keep thinking that my DH is looking at her underwear and will start to fancy her, if he doesn't already.

I was thinking that I could write her a small, friendly note just asking if she would mind bringing them inside. I mean, they're so skimpy that they'll probably be dry by now, anyway. I don't have the nerve to ask her face to face because part of me knows I'm being ridiculous, but I can't help how I feel and have been sitting here crying all afternoon imagining her and my DH together.

He thinks I'm acting crazy and said that if I send her a note, he will go to his mum's for the night because it would be absolutely mortifying.

AIBU?

OP posts:
ByUniqueViper · 26/06/2026 02:50

Get a grip. Shes drying her washing for goodness sake!

Dalston · 26/06/2026 00:46

Lookingback01 · 24/06/2026 15:33

I've name changed for this because I feel a bit silly to be posting, but it's driving me crazy so I need some advice.

We live in a new build next door to another couple who recently moved in. Our gardens are pretty close together and only really separated by a small fence that we can easily see over when standing.

We're all mid-thirties and they're a nice enough couple, are polite and friendly, keep themselves to themselves and are pretty quiet, so no problems there.

The issue I'm having is that the woman is objectively beautiful, very toned, slim, etc. Today she's obviously taking full advantage of the lovely weather we're having here and has decided to hang her underwear out on the line to dry. When I say underwear, I'm not talking about the simple black briefs and maternity bras that I'm currently wearing, but beautiful skimpy Victoria's Secret type stuff.

I don't know if it's my hormones or what the issue is, but this is making me feel so jealous because I keep thinking that my DH is looking at her underwear and will start to fancy her, if he doesn't already.

I was thinking that I could write her a small, friendly note just asking if she would mind bringing them inside. I mean, they're so skimpy that they'll probably be dry by now, anyway. I don't have the nerve to ask her face to face because part of me knows I'm being ridiculous, but I can't help how I feel and have been sitting here crying all afternoon imagining her and my DH together.

He thinks I'm acting crazy and said that if I send her a note, he will go to his mum's for the night because it would be absolutely mortifying.

AIBU?

oh my days you should not be analysing your neighbours washing. That’s weird. Get help.

FFSItsTooHot · 25/06/2026 19:48

I can never understand all this pearl clutching about other people's laundry hanging on the line!

Glitchymn1 · 25/06/2026 19:36

Don’t do it! You’ll make a fool of yourself. It’s just hormones!

Goditsmemargaret · 25/06/2026 19:10

Ahhhhhh OP I feel for you. You know this is madness surely?

It will pass.

Heereforagoodtime · 25/06/2026 18:37

I hadn't spotted that you're pregnant. Definitely hormones, sweetheart.

I feel for you. You'll look back one day and laugh but I appreciate it's very real for you, right now.

Hope the hormones calm a bit, soon.

Fluffybuns88 · 25/06/2026 18:36

My neighbour asked me this once. I was absolutely gobsmacked, I'm not going to lie, it made me make a lot of assumptions about her and became hyper aware of any hint of arguments through the wall. I was not surprised when the husband left her a year later.

Heereforagoodtime · 25/06/2026 18:35

I think your hormones are in full swing, love.

It's crazy thinking but hormones can do that!

Hoping you return to sanity, soon. It's horrible when you know you're not your usual self.

Killdeer · 25/06/2026 18:33

Lookingback01 · 24/06/2026 15:39

Thank you. I’m going to ignore all the posts suggesting I’m either making this up or have some weird underwear fetish.

I know that I’m being over the top, and I’m generally not a jealous person. DH is great and has never given me any reason not to trust him, so these feelings have really thrown me.

So do what adults do with irrational feelings — deal with them internally. Don’t make them someone else’s problem.

Pherian · 25/06/2026 18:31

Lookingback01 · 24/06/2026 15:33

I've name changed for this because I feel a bit silly to be posting, but it's driving me crazy so I need some advice.

We live in a new build next door to another couple who recently moved in. Our gardens are pretty close together and only really separated by a small fence that we can easily see over when standing.

We're all mid-thirties and they're a nice enough couple, are polite and friendly, keep themselves to themselves and are pretty quiet, so no problems there.

The issue I'm having is that the woman is objectively beautiful, very toned, slim, etc. Today she's obviously taking full advantage of the lovely weather we're having here and has decided to hang her underwear out on the line to dry. When I say underwear, I'm not talking about the simple black briefs and maternity bras that I'm currently wearing, but beautiful skimpy Victoria's Secret type stuff.

I don't know if it's my hormones or what the issue is, but this is making me feel so jealous because I keep thinking that my DH is looking at her underwear and will start to fancy her, if he doesn't already.

I was thinking that I could write her a small, friendly note just asking if she would mind bringing them inside. I mean, they're so skimpy that they'll probably be dry by now, anyway. I don't have the nerve to ask her face to face because part of me knows I'm being ridiculous, but I can't help how I feel and have been sitting here crying all afternoon imagining her and my DH together.

He thinks I'm acting crazy and said that if I send her a note, he will go to his mum's for the night because it would be absolutely mortifying.

AIBU?

You would be unreasonable to say anything. No matter your size or body there are sexy undies out there - get yourself some.

MyThreeWords · 25/06/2026 18:30

Stupidest (or most disingenuous) OP I've read in a long, long while.

Stop insulting us, @Lookingback01

MumOf4totstoteens · 25/06/2026 18:20

ToKittyornottoKitty · 24/06/2026 15:42

You’ve been crying all afternoon with jealously, you are clearly a jealous person! I’m surprised your husband is willing to put up with this, and woman would be told to run a mile

Why are people being so awful to her?! She’s pregnant ffs we have all been there! HORMONES?!

SqueakyFromme · 25/06/2026 18:19

This obvious wind up has got 17 pages

MumOf4totstoteens · 25/06/2026 18:18

God bless you. I feel you. But please no, just no 😂

SevenYellowHammers · 25/06/2026 18:18

Darling, no! XX

BettyBooDoingtheDoo · 25/06/2026 18:09

Oh my god this is hilarious. How pathetic. One of the reasons me and my husband have lasted 25 years is because we find jealous such a waste of energy. You cannot be serious and if you are I hope starts wearing her underwear around her garden in his eyeshot just to annoy you even more! You are threatened by washing hung out?! Get a life luv. I'm pushing 40 and overweight and would give a fuck if this was me btw and doubt my husband would care, takes more than a pair of foxy knickers on a washing line to get most men going you know!

Dogmum74 · 25/06/2026 18:07

This post cannot be real right????

HoppityBun · 25/06/2026 18:06

Rather than ask her to bring her laundry in, why don’t you get competitive with your own?

OnlyHasEyesForLoki · 25/06/2026 18:01

You sound really unhinged I’m afraid. Crying because the next door neighbour has her bras and knickers on the line in her own garden and that must mean DH fancies her.

i know you’re pregnant and are possibly feeling frumpy but try to get a blooming grip!! Your irrational jealousy is much more likely to affect your marriage than someone else’s laundry!!

Mumof2wifeof1crazytimes · 25/06/2026 18:01

who the hell has voted YANBU!!!

Tiredmum93 · 25/06/2026 17:37

Ignore last message. You are pregnant. You can be mad at anything. I apologise

Tiredmum93 · 25/06/2026 17:37

Get a grip. Don’t be weird, and go by yourself some underwear

EnormousGinplease · 25/06/2026 17:32

Oh my sweet woman ... im saying this with love i promise .. its deffo the pregnancy hormones. Don't write the note. Ride it through and file it away as "remember when I was pregnant and cried at next doors knickers"

Avidpanda · 25/06/2026 17:14

I really think you need to look the other way lol.

SpaceRaccoon · 25/06/2026 17:13

Lookingback01 · 24/06/2026 15:42

I’m pregnant, so will lose weight once my baby is born.

You've gone temporarily insane from preggo hormones. Definitely do not say anything at all to your neighbour, obviously, just have a good cry.