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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask my neighbour to bring her laundry in?

464 replies

Lookingback01 · 24/06/2026 15:33

I've name changed for this because I feel a bit silly to be posting, but it's driving me crazy so I need some advice.

We live in a new build next door to another couple who recently moved in. Our gardens are pretty close together and only really separated by a small fence that we can easily see over when standing.

We're all mid-thirties and they're a nice enough couple, are polite and friendly, keep themselves to themselves and are pretty quiet, so no problems there.

The issue I'm having is that the woman is objectively beautiful, very toned, slim, etc. Today she's obviously taking full advantage of the lovely weather we're having here and has decided to hang her underwear out on the line to dry. When I say underwear, I'm not talking about the simple black briefs and maternity bras that I'm currently wearing, but beautiful skimpy Victoria's Secret type stuff.

I don't know if it's my hormones or what the issue is, but this is making me feel so jealous because I keep thinking that my DH is looking at her underwear and will start to fancy her, if he doesn't already.

I was thinking that I could write her a small, friendly note just asking if she would mind bringing them inside. I mean, they're so skimpy that they'll probably be dry by now, anyway. I don't have the nerve to ask her face to face because part of me knows I'm being ridiculous, but I can't help how I feel and have been sitting here crying all afternoon imagining her and my DH together.

He thinks I'm acting crazy and said that if I send her a note, he will go to his mum's for the night because it would be absolutely mortifying.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Timespentwithcatsisneverwasted · 24/06/2026 15:51

Omg no please don't. You already recognise it's your hormones so don't!

readingmakesmehappy · 24/06/2026 15:51

You are acting crazy

Enigma54 · 24/06/2026 15:50

🤣 this is a joke, right??
I mean seriously, you can’t ask a person to take down their washing, that’s ridiculous and you are paranoid!

Shopsrshut23 · 24/06/2026 15:50

You mentioned maternity bra. Are you about to or have just given birth. Hormones can make you have some batshit thoughts. Maybe worth speaking to your GP. So sorry you're feeling so distressed OP.

QueenSmartypants · 24/06/2026 15:50

Is it so dreadfully mumsnet to say that I'd never dream of hanging my lingerie to dry outside? 😂

drunkelephant83 · 24/06/2026 15:49

Please tell us you are rage baiting? This has to be on par with the ‘my husband was flirting with someone on tv’.

If this is real this is a YOU problem, not your neighbours not your husbands.

Butchyrestingface · 24/06/2026 15:49

Lookingback01 · 24/06/2026 15:42

I’m pregnant, so will lose weight once my baby is born.

How would you respond if she asked you to keep your preggo self indoors and under wraps until baby arrives ‘cos seeing you is triggering for her?

Would you be up for it?

StarPyjamas · 24/06/2026 15:49

Gettingbysomehow · 24/06/2026 15:47

My neighbours detest washing on lines and are very vocal about it, they think it loers the tone of the neighnourhood. I dont have children at home and its no skin off my nose to hang washing in my spare room.
They are great neighbours and its not a hill I would die on. I just dont care so I dont do it.
Most people on here bang on about doing what the hell they want on their own property but I think why wind them up when they are otherwise great neighbours. We all have to live in close proximity so why deliberately bait people.
I dont particularly want to see peoples pants either.

So what's your advice?

Are you saying the OP should dry her eyes, write a note and hand it to her neighbour telling her to keep her knickers off the line?

Poppingby · 24/06/2026 15:49

Oh you're pregnant in this heat. Poor you. You are being absolutely unhinged but it's OK. Just allow yourself to think it and don't let it torch neighbourly relations by actually saying it.

maudelovesharold · 24/06/2026 15:48

I mean, they're so skimpy that they'll probably be dry by now, anyway.

This bit actually made me lol. Nothing like thinking of the practicalities in a crisis! 😄

MickyMoonshine · 24/06/2026 15:48

This is very much a YOU problem.
If this is real…

dinoderry · 24/06/2026 15:48

YABU but you’re pregnant and pregnancy hormones are wild so forgive yourself for being a wally and move on. I’d suggest never speaking about this again to anyone!

Doingtheboxerbeat · 24/06/2026 15:48

It's too hot for this 😩 , where are you getting the energy for this?

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 24/06/2026 15:48

Do you really have so little trust in your husband? That’s what you need to work on, you’re being ridiculous (in fact so ridiculous it makes me suspect this post is not real).

Paganpentacle · 24/06/2026 15:47

Get a grip ffs.

Gettingbysomehow · 24/06/2026 15:47

My neighbours detest washing on lines and are very vocal about it, they think it loers the tone of the neighnourhood. I dont have children at home and its no skin off my nose to hang washing in my spare room.
They are great neighbours and its not a hill I would die on. I just dont care so I dont do it.
Most people on here bang on about doing what the hell they want on their own property but I think why wind them up when they are otherwise great neighbours. We all have to live in close proximity so why deliberately bait people.
I dont particularly want to see peoples pants either.

CrouchHigh6 · 24/06/2026 15:47

I think you’re getting a hard time - post partum is a difficult time as your body has changed dramatically and it’s a time for function over beauty. It takes a long time to feel comfortable and sexy in your own skin again. When I finished breast feeding I treated myself to some nice underwear from Dora Larson which worked a treat.

I agree with a previous poster that if he fancied her already he would, regardless of seeing her smalls on the washing line. Please focus on rebuilding your own confidence

TheGreatDownandOut · 24/06/2026 15:46

You are being vvvvvvvvvvvv unreasonable but you get a pass because pregnancy hormones are the pits. Apologise to your DH, don’t speak to your neighbour and hope you’re keeping cool in this weather x

Tableforjoan · 24/06/2026 15:46

Definitely get some sexy maternity stuff.

You’re pregnant not the Virgin Mary. Embrace that big belly it’s growing a baby. A truely amazing thing. Have an Ice cold drink and get shopping.

FartNRoses · 24/06/2026 15:46

Please….go ahead 🍿

Rollercoaster1920 · 24/06/2026 15:46

Put that energy into buying a higher fence!

LondonLass2026 · 24/06/2026 15:45

This reads like a bad sketch.

If it's real, please don't ask her to do this. It's absolutely none of your business. Skimpies do not = p0rn. It's her choice what to wear.

She will likely tell you to fuck off.

Blimms · 24/06/2026 15:44

Do you have such a low opinion of all men, or is it just your DH who you can’t trust to peeve over another woman’s underwear?

coe78 · 24/06/2026 15:44

Many many years ago I had a thread where my neighbour had asked me to take my laundry in because she was afraid her male family members would see it. It degenerated into hilarious suggestions from posters and pictures of my (then) kitten.

Everyone on that thread thought my neighbour was deranged. I have long since moved out of that house but I'm wondering if you are my old neighbour!

SweatySpider321 · 24/06/2026 15:44

Lookingback01 · 24/06/2026 15:42

I’m pregnant, so will lose weight once my baby is born.

Same advice: buy more exciting maternity under wear. Don’t use “your hormones” as excuse to be so unreasonable. You don’t need to stack lots of weight on when pregnant -l didn’t