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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask my neighbour to bring her laundry in?

464 replies

Lookingback01 · 24/06/2026 15:33

I've name changed for this because I feel a bit silly to be posting, but it's driving me crazy so I need some advice.

We live in a new build next door to another couple who recently moved in. Our gardens are pretty close together and only really separated by a small fence that we can easily see over when standing.

We're all mid-thirties and they're a nice enough couple, are polite and friendly, keep themselves to themselves and are pretty quiet, so no problems there.

The issue I'm having is that the woman is objectively beautiful, very toned, slim, etc. Today she's obviously taking full advantage of the lovely weather we're having here and has decided to hang her underwear out on the line to dry. When I say underwear, I'm not talking about the simple black briefs and maternity bras that I'm currently wearing, but beautiful skimpy Victoria's Secret type stuff.

I don't know if it's my hormones or what the issue is, but this is making me feel so jealous because I keep thinking that my DH is looking at her underwear and will start to fancy her, if he doesn't already.

I was thinking that I could write her a small, friendly note just asking if she would mind bringing them inside. I mean, they're so skimpy that they'll probably be dry by now, anyway. I don't have the nerve to ask her face to face because part of me knows I'm being ridiculous, but I can't help how I feel and have been sitting here crying all afternoon imagining her and my DH together.

He thinks I'm acting crazy and said that if I send her a note, he will go to his mum's for the night because it would be absolutely mortifying.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Lexingtonavenueandme · 24/06/2026 16:37

🙄

SALaw · 24/06/2026 16:36

You CAN help how you feel. You can have a very strong word with yourself, give your head the wobble of a lifetime and stop thinking that such a note would be in any way a good idea or that what she does with her washing is anything you can control.

Lexy2345 · 24/06/2026 16:34

You’re not serious?

Boomer55 · 24/06/2026 16:33

Oh stop it. Her washing is her business. Haven’t you seen skimpy knickers before? 🙄

ToKittyornottoKitty · 24/06/2026 16:32

Eviebeans · 24/06/2026 16:31

When is your baby due? It’s not that unusual to think odd things when you’re pregnant- hormones do crazy stuff to you- so don’t feel too badly about it but don’t send any notes or ask in person
he is being a dick when he says he’ll go to his mum’s tho

No he isn’t.

Eviebeans · 24/06/2026 16:31

Lookingback01 · 24/06/2026 15:42

I’m pregnant, so will lose weight once my baby is born.

When is your baby due? It’s not that unusual to think odd things when you’re pregnant- hormones do crazy stuff to you- so don’t feel too badly about it but don’t send any notes or ask in person
he is being a dick when he says he’ll go to his mum’s tho

Moveoverdarlin · 24/06/2026 16:31

If I received this note I would do everything in my power to wind you up. Sunbathe topless in the garden, wink at your DH, adjust the tiny thong provocatively.

You sound mentally unwell.

Trust me whilst your DH might want to shag her, you can bet your life she won’t want him.

PeachySmile2 · 24/06/2026 16:30

This is the most unreasonable post I’ve seen today 😂

Winterpeach · 24/06/2026 16:30

Another bullshit made up thread.

Jealous of a neighbour because she looks good and hung her laundry out.
This is a you problem.

StarPyjamas · 24/06/2026 16:29

boringperson123 · 24/06/2026 16:16

Well I’m pregnant and think you’re mental 😂

This is the thing.

So many people are so sure it's pregnancy hormones but to be honest if the story is real, no-one knows what the OP is like when she's not pregnant.

ThatCyanCat · 24/06/2026 16:28

It's not normal to be sitting there crying over someone else's underwear, whilst imagining your husband with your neighbour!

Well maybe it should be!

JustSawJohnny · 24/06/2026 16:27

One hundred percent YOUR problem.

You have no right to put your shit on her and she has no obligation to do a damn thing to ease your craziness.

You need to consider how your insecurities could be pushing your man away, rather than other people's washing.

TheThirteenthFairy · 24/06/2026 16:27

I would like to say that you could not get more ridiculous if you tried with both hands, but once upon a time and far, far away, under the same circumstances I had much the same fears. Hormones are powerful and I wish posters would give you some grace. I certainly will ~ I hope you find that once your little one is here and your hormones are finding their feet again that you look back on this time and smile.

Poppy61 · 24/06/2026 16:27

Thinking the heat has got to you

Bloozie · 24/06/2026 16:26

WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz · 24/06/2026 16:21

That's a bit extreme. Better to get him neutered - it often improves behaviour overall.

That's a better idea if their family is complete.

If it isn't - lobotomy? Though I suppose that might encourage disinhibition - no one wants to look out into the garden and see a grown man mindlessly getting himself off using next door's crotchless knickers.

Sorry OP. We're teasing. I genuinely am sorry that this is upsetting you as much as it is.

Sassylovesbooks · 24/06/2026 16:26

OMG! Do NOT write a note or speak to your neighbour regarding her barely-there undies!!! You will do nothing other than embarrass yourself, she'll think you're certifiable and your husband will be mortified.

It's not normal to be sitting there crying over someone else's underwear, whilst imagining your husband with your neighbour! You are assuming your neighbour finds your husband attractive, she might not! You're also assuming that your husband thinks so little of you, he'd jump at the chance to shag your neighbour!

What else is going on with you, for you to feel like this?

Ivyisararename · 24/06/2026 16:26

Doingtheboxerbeat · 24/06/2026 15:48

It's too hot for this 😩 , where are you getting the energy for this?

😂

hugasaurus · 24/06/2026 16:24

Sorry but this is totally bonkers and can we not further the narrative that women are irrational, bizarre creatures who can't control themselves because of hormones? Sick of hearing it when it's hard enough for women to progress professionally and elsewhere without people tinkly laughing about 'hormones' making them behave like a total loon.

jastherebeenaforedrill · 24/06/2026 16:22

Ahh hormones

PippaJJ · 24/06/2026 16:22

@Lookingback01

Oh lovely

"I can't help how I feel and have been sitting here crying all afternoon imagining her and my DH together"

You already know this request would be unreasonable, but you also need some support - not in a dismissive "this is a you problem", but in a "you are going through a lot" way.
(The underwear on the line is a red-herring.)

Look up some self regulation and coregulation (with partner) techniques.

And when you're able to discuss things calmly, it'd be a good idea to let said partner know that when you're showing vulnerability or insecurity, you need support from them, not threats of (even temporary) abandonment.

Posted with care and understanding

Edictfromno10 · 24/06/2026 16:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Comeonenglandtonite · 24/06/2026 16:21

What a shameless exhibitionist. I’d get straight on the phone to the underwear police OP

WhatHappenedToYourFurnitureCuz · 24/06/2026 16:21

Bloozie · 24/06/2026 16:18

Stab his eyes out.

It's for the best.

That's a bit extreme. Better to get him neutered - it often improves behaviour overall.

LadyVioletBridgerton · 24/06/2026 16:20

Oh yeah do it. Please, please, please report back on how it goes 🙏 🍿

PoppyGalore1 · 24/06/2026 16:19

Lookingback01 · 24/06/2026 15:33

I've name changed for this because I feel a bit silly to be posting, but it's driving me crazy so I need some advice.

We live in a new build next door to another couple who recently moved in. Our gardens are pretty close together and only really separated by a small fence that we can easily see over when standing.

We're all mid-thirties and they're a nice enough couple, are polite and friendly, keep themselves to themselves and are pretty quiet, so no problems there.

The issue I'm having is that the woman is objectively beautiful, very toned, slim, etc. Today she's obviously taking full advantage of the lovely weather we're having here and has decided to hang her underwear out on the line to dry. When I say underwear, I'm not talking about the simple black briefs and maternity bras that I'm currently wearing, but beautiful skimpy Victoria's Secret type stuff.

I don't know if it's my hormones or what the issue is, but this is making me feel so jealous because I keep thinking that my DH is looking at her underwear and will start to fancy her, if he doesn't already.

I was thinking that I could write her a small, friendly note just asking if she would mind bringing them inside. I mean, they're so skimpy that they'll probably be dry by now, anyway. I don't have the nerve to ask her face to face because part of me knows I'm being ridiculous, but I can't help how I feel and have been sitting here crying all afternoon imagining her and my DH together.

He thinks I'm acting crazy and said that if I send her a note, he will go to his mum's for the night because it would be absolutely mortifying.

AIBU?

I’m 30 weeks pregnant, hormonal, during an heatwave and I still think this is crazy.