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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask my neighbour to bring her laundry in?

464 replies

Lookingback01 · 24/06/2026 15:33

I've name changed for this because I feel a bit silly to be posting, but it's driving me crazy so I need some advice.

We live in a new build next door to another couple who recently moved in. Our gardens are pretty close together and only really separated by a small fence that we can easily see over when standing.

We're all mid-thirties and they're a nice enough couple, are polite and friendly, keep themselves to themselves and are pretty quiet, so no problems there.

The issue I'm having is that the woman is objectively beautiful, very toned, slim, etc. Today she's obviously taking full advantage of the lovely weather we're having here and has decided to hang her underwear out on the line to dry. When I say underwear, I'm not talking about the simple black briefs and maternity bras that I'm currently wearing, but beautiful skimpy Victoria's Secret type stuff.

I don't know if it's my hormones or what the issue is, but this is making me feel so jealous because I keep thinking that my DH is looking at her underwear and will start to fancy her, if he doesn't already.

I was thinking that I could write her a small, friendly note just asking if she would mind bringing them inside. I mean, they're so skimpy that they'll probably be dry by now, anyway. I don't have the nerve to ask her face to face because part of me knows I'm being ridiculous, but I can't help how I feel and have been sitting here crying all afternoon imagining her and my DH together.

He thinks I'm acting crazy and said that if I send her a note, he will go to his mum's for the night because it would be absolutely mortifying.

AIBU?

OP posts:
WheretheFishesareFrightening · 24/06/2026 16:52

Lookingback01 · 24/06/2026 15:39

Thank you. I’m going to ignore all the posts suggesting I’m either making this up or have some weird underwear fetish.

I know that I’m being over the top, and I’m generally not a jealous person. DH is great and has never given me any reason not to trust him, so these feelings have really thrown me.

You’re almost there. Now realise that these are your problems, and not your neighbours, and it is not her job to solve them for you. It is your job to own your feelings and deal with them like an adult. And that might involve therapy. But it definitely doesn’t involve your neighbour shame drying her clothes.

Rachelshair · 24/06/2026 16:52

Do you think you need to look after your mental health a bit more, build up your self-esteem, relax, get support from GP, friends or a counsellor? It's not right that you feel like this about your neighbour's washing and it's spoiling your pregnancy.

GimmieABreakOr3 · 24/06/2026 16:51

Tbf it’s a bit grim hanging out skimpy underwear on the line lol! I always hang my washing in such a way that our undies are concealed !

DaisyChain505 · 24/06/2026 16:50

Get a taller fence.

afaloren · 24/06/2026 16:50

Oh no, you can’t do this. You will sound bananas. I’ve never had kids so forgive me if I’m way off base but could the pregnancy hormones be making you feel like this?

BertSymptom · 24/06/2026 16:50

I’m 36 weeks pregnant in 32 degree heat and I think it’s borderline offensive to use either of those things as an excuse for this sort of thinking. Hope for your sake this is a wind up because this sounds far more than hormones!

StPetersburg · 24/06/2026 16:49

I can't help how I feel and have been sitting here crying all afternoon imagining her and my DH together.

Did you ever have irrational and paranoid thoughts like this before you were pregnant?

If so, you need to see your GP. You need help.

Cherrysoup · 24/06/2026 16:49

What am I reading?! Hell no, of course you can’t, she’ll think you’re quite mad!

UnimatrixZeroOne · 24/06/2026 16:48

Crying all afternoon?! You sound bonkers.
Your poor husband. 😂

Pinkflamingo10 · 24/06/2026 16:48

If you’re coveting VS underwear then just order some nice VS underwear for yourself

Pregnancy is a crazy time but I think you know you can’t ask your neighbour this

Ethelspagetti · 24/06/2026 16:48

Don’t do it! Your husband’s right, you’re going to sound bat shit crazy and a 6ft fence might soon appear.

SharingMyOpinion · 24/06/2026 16:47

YABU and batshit

outerspacepotato · 24/06/2026 16:47

🛸wheeeeee

No, you can't tell anyone what they can hang out.

ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews · 24/06/2026 16:45

You are doolally.

Tableforjoan · 24/06/2026 16:45

Frazzled89 · 24/06/2026 16:42

I've never heard of Honey Birdette but just had a quick peak because I was intrigued, nice but very very expensive 😲. £135 for a bra!! I'm not sure most people could afford that. What's the difference between their bras and a normal bra?

Not that poster but the ones I have from there just feel amazing and look amazing basically.

Feels like I’m not wearing a bra they are so nice on the skin.

They have very good sales as well so you can snag a few bargains if you’re fast.

UnctuousUnicorns · 24/06/2026 16:44

🤣 Nice one, OP. Thanks for the laugh. 👍

wishingonastar101 · 24/06/2026 16:42

Babe, you just need to buy yourself some new pants.

Frazzled89 · 24/06/2026 16:42

Vanillaicelatte · 24/06/2026 15:36

Your nuts

i have lots of sexy tiny underwear from Honey Birdette & la Perla so much nicer than VS crap

if my neighbour asked me to take it off the line because her husband might fancy me or be thinking of me when he has a wank

I would just laugh hysterically

i think the heat has got to you

I've never heard of Honey Birdette but just had a quick peak because I was intrigued, nice but very very expensive 😲. £135 for a bra!! I'm not sure most people could afford that. What's the difference between their bras and a normal bra?

socks1107 · 24/06/2026 16:41

No you musnt. If you dh has form for cheating or looking at other women that’s a problem with him not your neighbour drying her washing

Comeonenglandtonite · 24/06/2026 16:41

How about some fast growing leylandii between the two gardens? They are good for improving neighbourly relations.

Boreded · 24/06/2026 16:41

I hope this is a joke…but if it isn’t, please go speak to a therapist

kalokagathos · 24/06/2026 16:40

DO NOT DO IT!!! You’ll regret it until the end of your days (as in the embarrassment). You have to train your brain and rein in your insecurity. You’re better than that!

Superhansrantowindsor · 24/06/2026 16:40

Who has voted YANBU??????
craziest idea ever op.

FeliciaFancybottom · 24/06/2026 16:39

Batshittery.

wherearethesnacks · 24/06/2026 16:39

I'd be obsessing more about the low fence, wondering how soon I could replace it with a 2 m one.