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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask my neighbour to bring her laundry in?

464 replies

Lookingback01 · 24/06/2026 15:33

I've name changed for this because I feel a bit silly to be posting, but it's driving me crazy so I need some advice.

We live in a new build next door to another couple who recently moved in. Our gardens are pretty close together and only really separated by a small fence that we can easily see over when standing.

We're all mid-thirties and they're a nice enough couple, are polite and friendly, keep themselves to themselves and are pretty quiet, so no problems there.

The issue I'm having is that the woman is objectively beautiful, very toned, slim, etc. Today she's obviously taking full advantage of the lovely weather we're having here and has decided to hang her underwear out on the line to dry. When I say underwear, I'm not talking about the simple black briefs and maternity bras that I'm currently wearing, but beautiful skimpy Victoria's Secret type stuff.

I don't know if it's my hormones or what the issue is, but this is making me feel so jealous because I keep thinking that my DH is looking at her underwear and will start to fancy her, if he doesn't already.

I was thinking that I could write her a small, friendly note just asking if she would mind bringing them inside. I mean, they're so skimpy that they'll probably be dry by now, anyway. I don't have the nerve to ask her face to face because part of me knows I'm being ridiculous, but I can't help how I feel and have been sitting here crying all afternoon imagining her and my DH together.

He thinks I'm acting crazy and said that if I send her a note, he will go to his mum's for the night because it would be absolutely mortifying.

AIBU?

OP posts:
GimmieABreakOr3 · 24/06/2026 17:10

StPetersburg · 24/06/2026 17:05

Fair enough if she was hanging out gimp masks and leather straps but how on earth is a few bras and frilly thongs “grim”?

I don’t wanna see ya g string babes! Depends what the underwear is I suppose. I just find any a bit grim hahaaaa like I said you can hang it in a modest way 👌

HelpMeGetThrough · 24/06/2026 17:10

Poppingby · 24/06/2026 15:39

Please don't. She's going to think you are absolutely unhinged.

The OP is!! This place never fails to disappoint.

PinkLipsticks · 24/06/2026 17:10

Could it be that because you are pregnant / a mum (maternity bras) you are mourning your old self and imagining the loss of your sexiness?

Neighbour sounds joylessly pert OP. Also lacy undies will go hard as hay in this sun,
what an amateur.

JulietteHasAGun · 24/06/2026 17:07

If I trusted my dh this little id be embarrassed to let on to my neighbours. Im cringing for you that you’d even think of doing this.

BeRoseSloth · 24/06/2026 17:07

Is this a reverse? Are your gorgeous undies on the line and your weird neighbour has sent you a note???

Duvetdayneeded · 24/06/2026 17:06

You’ve got issues!!!

Zanatdy · 24/06/2026 17:06

If true, this is up there in top 5 of craziest things i’ve seen on here. I’d be leaving forever if I was your DH if you sent a note like that.

Mochudubh · 24/06/2026 17:06

Tabarnak · 24/06/2026 16:10

Put a (clean) tea towel over your DH's head,

OR

Acquire several pairs of hideous nylon pattered y fronts, something like this Vintage Mens Nylon 70's Underpants Briefs Y Front Medium St Michael Abstract, Made in Britain. - Etsy UK and hang them on your own line.
Then even if he does make a move on her she will run faster than her skimpy nicks can dry!

Or to really warn her off these, perhaps Personalized Boxers for Husband, Valentine Day Gifts, Custom Face Boxers for Men, I Licked It so It's Mine, for Boyfriend, Husband - Etsy UK

Haha! i was going to suggest buying some cheap white Y-Fronts a la Michael Winner (showing my age) ans staining them with tea.

Those are hideous.

cramptramp · 24/06/2026 17:06

Yeah right 🙄🙄🙄

outerspacepotato · 24/06/2026 17:06

howshouldibehave · 24/06/2026 17:02

You have been crying all afternoon imagining her and your husband together because she’s drying her clothes on her own washing line. I think you need some professional support-talk to your midwife.

Maybe go inside and have a cold drink. Lay down and fan yourself.

Crying all afternoon because your neighbour hung her wash out including sexy undies is not healthy at all.

StPetersburg · 24/06/2026 17:05

GimmieABreakOr3 · 24/06/2026 16:51

Tbf it’s a bit grim hanging out skimpy underwear on the line lol! I always hang my washing in such a way that our undies are concealed !

Fair enough if she was hanging out gimp masks and leather straps but how on earth is a few bras and frilly thongs “grim”?

LiesDoNotBecomeUs · 24/06/2026 17:05

Unless your neighbour is weirdly invested in your marriage - you should not ask her to help keep your husband's lusting looks in line!

If it seems reasonable - you could ask him to wear blinkers? Or just keep him so busy fulfilling many urgent pregnancy demands that he is too exhausted to think of anything :)

Really though - you have my sympathy. Pregnancy does terrible things to your self-image. Just remember that he really loves and lusts after you. The pregnancy is evidence of this - and something he is likely to be very proud of. Beauty and sexiness are in the eyes of the beholder.

Peterdottir · 24/06/2026 17:03

OP aside from this particular issue I would seriously consider getting a higher fence or plant something alongside the existing fence. I would hate not having that privacy.

howshouldibehave · 24/06/2026 17:02

You have been crying all afternoon imagining her and your husband together because she’s drying her clothes on her own washing line. I think you need some professional support-talk to your midwife.

Lottie6712 · 24/06/2026 17:00

It's tricky being pregnant in this heat, but I can't believe anyone voted for this being a reasonable thing to do 😂I'm sure your husband loves you and you're growing a BABY. That's pretty badass xxx

Laura95167 · 24/06/2026 16:59

If he is doing that you have a DH problem not a neighbours knickers one

GalaDinner · 24/06/2026 16:57

Writing this from my house in Spain.

You will have the last laugh OP. The strong sun will fade her colours. My washing is hanging out inside out and in the shade.

Blueseudeshoes · 24/06/2026 16:57

I’ve read some wild posts today but this wins, don’t do this just for your own sake she will probably just laugh at you.
it’s rubbish being pregnant and not feeling yourself but it won’t be forever & it isn’t your neighbours problem
once your upto it postpartum get your body in good shape and go underwear shopping

worldshottestmom · 24/06/2026 16:57

Are you newly postpartum? I see that you are pregnant and as such this makes a little more sense. It's ok to feel jealous but it is your responsibility to handle those feelings and acknowledge them for what they are.

You may think she's all that but she's just another person on planet earth living her life. Leave her live hers and you live yours. Your DH is with you and not her, for a reason.

Nannyfannybanny · 24/06/2026 16:57

Ah, I was going to say "are you pregnant". I can't believe someone said hanging your undies out is grim! How ridiculous..I wore skimpy undies when I was pregnant. I couldn't stand maternity stuff. I just used bigger bras when breastfeeding.

AgnesMcDoo · 24/06/2026 16:57

Please don’t do this. It’s your hormones making you crazy and you will be mortified afterwards and she will think you are nuts/weird.

SardinesOnButteredToast · 24/06/2026 16:56

Oh, another random post about women's underwear. Must be in the air this month.

ilbehonest · 24/06/2026 16:54

Hi it's me! The sexy skimpy underwear neighbour. Please send your husband over pronto!

LittleRobins · 24/06/2026 16:53

If some muscly man lived next door and hung his crotchless pants on the line would it make you fancy him? Of course not.

I do have some sympathy as in my second pregnancy my hormones made me think my husband fancied everyone but me. I’ve never felt like it before or since and am not insecure at all. But for some reason for a few months when I was pregnant the jealousy was overpowering.

This will pass and one day you’ll be mortified at having posted this or even thought it!

Swiftie1878 · 24/06/2026 16:52

Lookingback01 · 24/06/2026 15:42

I’m pregnant, so will lose weight once my baby is born.

Your hormones and the heat must be getting to you. Please don’t do anything. These people are your neighbours. You’ll embarrass yourself and your DH and have to live beside them for years!
Have a cold shower and an ice cold drink.

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