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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask my neighbour to bring her laundry in?

464 replies

Lookingback01 · 24/06/2026 15:33

I've name changed for this because I feel a bit silly to be posting, but it's driving me crazy so I need some advice.

We live in a new build next door to another couple who recently moved in. Our gardens are pretty close together and only really separated by a small fence that we can easily see over when standing.

We're all mid-thirties and they're a nice enough couple, are polite and friendly, keep themselves to themselves and are pretty quiet, so no problems there.

The issue I'm having is that the woman is objectively beautiful, very toned, slim, etc. Today she's obviously taking full advantage of the lovely weather we're having here and has decided to hang her underwear out on the line to dry. When I say underwear, I'm not talking about the simple black briefs and maternity bras that I'm currently wearing, but beautiful skimpy Victoria's Secret type stuff.

I don't know if it's my hormones or what the issue is, but this is making me feel so jealous because I keep thinking that my DH is looking at her underwear and will start to fancy her, if he doesn't already.

I was thinking that I could write her a small, friendly note just asking if she would mind bringing them inside. I mean, they're so skimpy that they'll probably be dry by now, anyway. I don't have the nerve to ask her face to face because part of me knows I'm being ridiculous, but I can't help how I feel and have been sitting here crying all afternoon imagining her and my DH together.

He thinks I'm acting crazy and said that if I send her a note, he will go to his mum's for the night because it would be absolutely mortifying.

AIBU?

OP posts:
HelpMeGetThrough · 24/06/2026 17:24

Laughorbloodycry · 24/06/2026 17:19

Keep your skidders - of all variety - indoors to dry perhaps.

I never see undies on neighbours lines and they're not seeing mine.

Well if yours are “skidders”, I’m not surprised you keep them indoors.

StPetersburg · 24/06/2026 17:22

Laughorbloodycry · 24/06/2026 17:16

It's not weird. I have a pretty good figure, I used to have an excellent figure.

I would not then - and do not now - hang out my skimpy skidders, and never would some lacy number, if it's easily viewable.

Neighbour is 100% aware what she's doing.

Bat shit 🤣🤣🤣

She’s hanging her laundry out. She’s using her washing line for what it’s intended to be used for.

If you think she’s deliberately trying to upset the OP or “entice” OP’s husband with her “skidders” then I’m sorry but you’re another weird one with issues.

Worrywort23 · 24/06/2026 17:20

Yeah, it's your hormones.
When I was pregnant, I was watching Cyndi Lauper singing 'Girls just wanna have fun' on MTV. I started bawling my head off. When my husband got in from work I sobbed "I'll ever have fun again" at him 😆

Honeyhonay · 24/06/2026 17:20

Laughorbloodycry · 24/06/2026 17:19

Keep your skidders - of all variety - indoors to dry perhaps.

I never see undies on neighbours lines and they're not seeing mine.

You’re the one with the problems.

Frazzled89 · 24/06/2026 17:20

Tableforjoan · 24/06/2026 16:45

Not that poster but the ones I have from there just feel amazing and look amazing basically.

Feels like I’m not wearing a bra they are so nice on the skin.

They have very good sales as well so you can snag a few bargains if you’re fast.

I'll have to see if I can find any sale items. I hate wearing a bra so that sounds like heaven!

PenelopePinkerton · 24/06/2026 17:20

Seek therapy.

itwasyourshowallalong · 24/06/2026 17:20

Oh bless you 💐

You know objectively that you’re absolutely crackers, but pregnancy + heat can do the most horrendous things to you

Lots and lots of cold drinks, ice, ice cream and multiple fans needed, and a box of tissues if you’re still sobbing. You will look back on this one day and laugh/cringe, but at the moment it probably feels very raw and very real

Be kind to yourself, and don’t do anything that you’re going to regret later x

notgivinga · 24/06/2026 17:19

bonkers

Laughorbloodycry · 24/06/2026 17:19

Honeyhonay · 24/06/2026 17:18

Is it only thongs you take issue with?
Are granny pants okay?
How do you hang items of clothing up modestly?

Keep your skidders - of all variety - indoors to dry perhaps.

I never see undies on neighbours lines and they're not seeing mine.

twocornichons · 24/06/2026 17:19

If you are with someone who would leave you for the neighbours underwear it’s not going to last - this is a unreasonable and illogical thought process - there’s something else going on -

Tableforjoan · 24/06/2026 17:18

Dh puts our washing out sometimes including my bras and pants be them sexy ones or my bog standard black thongs.

So in my house it certainly isn’t me doing it for the neighbours pleasure.

Also though I couldn’t tell you what my neighbours put on their line or don’t as it very rarely catches my eye to end up on my radar. Maybe if I’ve looked out the window and see bed sheets and then I’ll likely copy and do a load of bedding because good idea! 👍🏻

Honeyhonay · 24/06/2026 17:18

GimmieABreakOr3 · 24/06/2026 17:10

I don’t wanna see ya g string babes! Depends what the underwear is I suppose. I just find any a bit grim hahaaaa like I said you can hang it in a modest way 👌

Is it only thongs you take issue with?
Are granny pants okay?
How do you hang items of clothing up modestly?

Honeyhonay · 24/06/2026 17:18

GimmieABreakOr3 · 24/06/2026 17:10

I don’t wanna see ya g string babes! Depends what the underwear is I suppose. I just find any a bit grim hahaaaa like I said you can hang it in a modest way 👌

Duplicate

itsgettingweird · 24/06/2026 17:18

Pregnancy hormones do weird things to your emotions and rationality.

Add in this heat and 🤯

But DO NOT in anyway act on them 🤣

Congratulations btw Flowers

HelpMeGetThrough · 24/06/2026 17:17

StPetersburg · 24/06/2026 17:14

Don’t look at my g strings then babes…

And what is a “modest way” of hanging washing out? I’m intrigued.

You sound as insecure and weird as the OP.

hang them up behind a pillow cases and duvet covers I expect. Madness.

UncannyFanny · 24/06/2026 17:17

Honestly your neighbour is going to think you’re some kind of unhinged weirdo if you do this. Please don’t.

Horses7 · 24/06/2026 17:17

It really shouldn’t upset you this much - perhaps look for professional help.

INeedAnotherName · 24/06/2026 17:16

Lookingback01 · 24/06/2026 15:42

I’m pregnant, so will lose weight once my baby is born.

but I can't help how I feel and have been sitting here crying all afternoon

Please speak to your midwife or GP. This is not normal even with pregnancy hormones, but you do need help.

Laughorbloodycry · 24/06/2026 17:16

StPetersburg · 24/06/2026 17:14

Don’t look at my g strings then babes…

And what is a “modest way” of hanging washing out? I’m intrigued.

You sound as insecure and weird as the OP.

It's not weird. I have a pretty good figure, I used to have an excellent figure.

I would not then - and do not now - hang out my skimpy skidders, and never would some lacy number, if it's easily viewable.

Neighbour is 100% aware what she's doing.

AClassicTrenchcoat · 24/06/2026 17:15

Sure.

Honeyhonay · 24/06/2026 17:15

Do it, and then report back.
Give me time to chill the wine though.

StPetersburg · 24/06/2026 17:14

GimmieABreakOr3 · 24/06/2026 17:10

I don’t wanna see ya g string babes! Depends what the underwear is I suppose. I just find any a bit grim hahaaaa like I said you can hang it in a modest way 👌

Don’t look at my g strings then babes…

And what is a “modest way” of hanging washing out? I’m intrigued.

You sound as insecure and weird as the OP.

liamharha · 24/06/2026 17:14

What have you said to your husband for him to even become aware of undies 🤣 I'm sorry op pregnancy hormones can be crazy and you are really vulnerable and not feeling your best but even you must see how utterly bonkers this is x

Laughorbloodycry · 24/06/2026 17:12

Peterdottir · 24/06/2026 17:03

OP aside from this particular issue I would seriously consider getting a higher fence or plant something alongside the existing fence. I would hate not having that privacy.

This is the best answer. I'm not exactly hot stuff any more. Yet I wouldn't hang up anything like that if I owned it. I really do think it's attention seeking. Mine goes indoors no matter what. If you feel she is being an attention seeking person, I absolutely believe you OP.

So the issue is how to block view out. It's also looking at whether there is ever anything your partner does or has done to make you feel insecure. Wandering eyeballs too often for example.

If it's about you and your own appearance then think of ways in the future when you're ready to work on that.

The priority right now is block the undies parade and any other viewing access. Bamboo is great for privacy, trellis on top of fence for height. Lots of options. Block block block.

No letter. Tell husband the heat got to you yesterday and you're now laughing about it.

liamharha · 24/06/2026 17:12

This has to be a joke ....Right