AIBU to tell my friend her partner sent me an explicit photo

I'd screenshot it and send it to her and his Mum.
Make sure you screenshot enough so she knows it was completely unsolicited.

Exactly and if he kept sending stuff like that and the friend found out she may have mistakenly taken that as you giving the green light to it

Really?? At the very least it's raising a red flag about this man, he had committed a criminal offence, he has at least disrespected his partner and he blames it all on being drunk🙄

You have been honest with your friend, well done it must have been hard knowing that she will be hurt. Big hug

If it was me, I would have to send a message back to him and get more evidence that he meant to send it to you, then he can't play the "mistake" card.

Something like, "But I'm your wife's friend, don't you think it would be dangerous if we started this??" Then you have made it obvious it's you he's sent it to, and his reply will show it's no mistake.

Then, you can show her the evidence, and he can't wiggle off the hook.

FFS to the comments that you're over reacting. You're reacting in a very justified way. Maybe some commenters haven't ever had the violation of the unsolicited sausage photo. I hope your friend is doing okay and that you are too.

You did the right thing

i wonder if he sent it to anyone else?

she should check his phone

That's even worse. So vile.

I dont think they do, as a PP said its about power, intimidation, and malevolence. Like all abuse.

I'd report to the police.

I know it's not the point of this post but I will never understand why men think this will achieve anything but repulsion on the part of the recipient.

If he was sat in your front room presumably he wouldn't drop his keks and expose himself randomly so why does he think is ok to do it over the phone.

Do they actually think a woman is going to respond in kind, or take him up on whatever gross invitation it's meant to be or is it more of an aggression thing?

It's like they're a completely different unknowable species.

So in your opinion some crimes are more 'crimey' than others - righty ho.

You did the right thing OP, and tbh its a blessing in disguise for your friend.

No worries x

Assuming he definitely meant it for you, and he couldn’t have sent it to you by mistake instead of her, yes. Yes you do have to tell her. You can also report him to the police for indecent exposure, unsolicited dick pics have been a specific crime (cyber flashing) since January 2024

https://rapecrisis.org.uk/get-informed/types-of-sexual-violence/what-is-cyber-flashing/

If you disclose a crime to the police that has happened to you, they will record it. They will then want to know whether you want to make a statement and provide the screenshots. So if I were you, I would wait until you have made your mind up either way whether you wish to make a complaint.

I think too many people have focused on the fact that you know the perpetrator, he was possibly drunk, you are friends with his partner, it might have been a mistake, yadda, yadda.

So far, you and your friend seem to have been supportive of each other but on balance I do think reporting to the Police is the way to go. This offence carries a penalty of up to 2 years in prison, it’s what is known as an gateway offence meaning his offending (and he has offended) may escalate.

What the actual ever living fuck are some of these responses?
absolutely vile.

sorry that you had to deal with the dick pic, the uncertainty of having to expose your friend to hurt AND the pricks on here today.

I’m glad she’s on your side and hasn’t minimised this.

Hi OP I work in criminal justice, often with sex offenders. If you report it, which I would encourage you to do but understand there will be plenty of reasons you might not want to right now, police will not sit on it or leave it on file, this is a MN myth, victims do not choose to 'press charges' or not in the UK, police investigate build a file and refer to CPS for decision making on these kinds of matters, they are not suitable for out of court disposal or community resolution.

Crimes have to be investigated, sexual and violent offences are prioritised. This is a sexual offence. I am sadly not surprised by the number of posters minimising this, but they are wrong to do so. I just wanted to reassure you it is a criminal offence for a reason. No one should have to experience receiving unsolicited indecent images.

Absolutely right. Parents and schools - and anyone else dealing with this kind of vile behaviour - need to get tough. Stupid teen boys (and idiot men as in this case) only learn when consequences are tough for them. If it is behaviour that they know is wrong I do not waste time trying to understand etc - I simply remove phones and hit them with other punishments, after one hell of a bollocking. I have only had to do this once with one and twice with the other.

I can’t believe some of the responses you’ve had on here. He’s vile. He’s out of order. It doesn’t matter if he had, had a drink. Your friend should leave him because he will probably keep doing it and more besides if there’s any interest from another woman. He should be reported. Utter sleazy tw@t

Apologies to @Differentforgirls - I should have quoted @Stressmummy12

It was very brave of you to tell your friend OP, and what a horrid situation he's put you in. I think you're doing this all the right way, letting your friend decide if you should report it.

Just be aware that she may see past it, or believe whatever crap he spins her...

So flashing/Indecent exposure has been made legal now? When did that happen then?

Fairly sure if it was the posters husband or partner sending dick pics to her mates, or his wife or partner sending vulva shots, they’d change their tune. And think it a very big deal indeed.