Page 3 | AIBU to tell my friend her partner sent me an explicit photo

Anyusernamewilldo8963 · 2026-06-24T04:10:14+00:00

Just woken up to find my best mates partner has sent me a dick pic with a message saying he wants me 🤢🤮 I have to tell her don't I

Decacaffeinatednow · 24/06/2026 22:31

@Quietgirl9
She’s told her.

Quietgirl9 · 24/06/2026 22:26

You have to tell her, but I don't want you to be unaware that this may be the end of your friendship, people often can't face the truth and find a way to blame the messenger. I hope this doesn't hurt you for doing the right thing and having more respect for her than he does

grumpygrape · 24/06/2026 22:14

TeaCupTinsel · 24/06/2026 22:02

I meant more his parents, I shouldn't have specified just 'Mum'. None of the older men I know e.g. Dad, Uncle etc have social media, I find it tends to be more the Mums. Either way, I should have known there would be a mumsnetter ready to pounce over the slight!

Should also send to his parents (so they can understand what a disgusting son they have)

There we go, amended for you.

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But you didn't pick up on the fact that it would be illegal for her to forward the image to anyone else.

There we go, I've explained it to you. HTH

Chritrup · 24/06/2026 22:02

I find some people’s view of this odd.

If he was waiting down a dark alley and flashed the OP as she passed, no one would even question whether this was a crime as well as totally unacceptable.

He does it over a phone and somehow that’s excusable.

Really weird.

Also, being drunk isn’t a defence to anything.

TeaCupTinsel · 24/06/2026 22:02

SleepingStandingUp · 24/06/2026 21:33

What has his Mom done to deserve an unsolicited picture of her sons penis? It's not her fault. Why not his Dad? She can't send it anyone if course but why does this have anything to do with his mother?

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I meant more his parents, I shouldn't have specified just 'Mum'. None of the older men I know e.g. Dad, Uncle etc have social media, I find it tends to be more the Mums. Either way, I should have known there would be a mumsnetter ready to pounce over the slight!

Should also send to his parents (so they can understand what a disgusting son they have)

There we go, amended for you.

OttersOnAPlane · 24/06/2026 21:58

He has admitted it and "apologised" blaming the drink

Ach, the drink. Sure that explains it.

I can't count the number of times I've had a vat of wine and sent photos of my genitals to all my partner's friends asking to shag them. We've all done it after a couple of pints watching the match. Nothing more natural in the world.

Fecking misogynistic eejit.

worldshottestmom · 24/06/2026 21:50

Stressmummy12 · 24/06/2026 18:25

Reporting it to the police a bit to far you’ve told your friend let her deal with it. And grow up a bit he doesn’t need reporting to the police he will be dealt with by his partner. You very well may loose your friendship if you report your friends partner and father to her child to the police 😂 some people I swear they over do everything.

Yes I agree, ladies, anytime anybody sexually harasses you don't you dare tell the police. It is taking it too far. ESPECIALLY not if it is your best friend's partner, it shouldn't even bother you in this case.

Those poor men are fathers, who else is going to raise their kids to grow up to be misogynistic sexual predators? Bonus if they are fathers of girls, as this way the girls will have no understanding that when a man sends her unsolicited nude photos, they should NOT tell the police. They need to know that this is acceptable in a healthy relationship.

I've lost count of the amount of times I've drunkenly sent pictures of my vagina to my partners best mate, telling him that I want him. It's an easy mistake to make and it can happen to anybody. Think before you comment!

IDrinkTeaAllTheTime · 24/06/2026 21:45

Decacaffeinatednow · 24/06/2026 21:36

Some posters on this thread have really shown themselves up, They should be ashamed.

And to think, some of them will be raising the next generation of these “men.” Honestly makes me feel sick.

IDrinkTeaAllTheTime · 24/06/2026 21:43

Anyusernamewilldo8963 · 24/06/2026 20:50

He has admitted it and "apologised" blaming the drink 🙄 I have not responded to him in anyway and whilst I have the screenshots and will keep them whilst a decision is made about reporting to the police, she has seen the messages he sent on his phone as he hadn't deleted them, so I don't need to show them to her and as I've previously posted I've no intention of forwarding them to anybody.

My friend and I have been talking via messages most of the day and I am hoping to see her face to face tomorrow so I'm hopeful this won't affect our friendship going forward and she knows she has my full support whatever decisions she comes to that are hers and hers alone to make.

I'm not sure that there will be much else to update so I would like to thank again the people who responded with support and understood the severity of this and those who called out the belittling and victim blaming posters on my behalf.

If after reading this full thread you still don't see this as a criminal offence and you think I'm over reacting then shame on you as you are contributing to the problem.

Just want to say that you’re a great friend, OP. She’s very lucky to have you in her corner. 💕

Decacaffeinatednow · 24/06/2026 21:36

Some posters on this thread have really shown themselves up, They should be ashamed.

SleepingStandingUp · 24/06/2026 21:33

TeaCupTinsel · 24/06/2026 20:12

I'd screenshot it and send it to her and his Mum.
Make sure you screenshot enough so she knows it was completely unsolicited.

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What has his Mom done to deserve an unsolicited picture of her sons penis? It's not her fault. Why not his Dad? She can't send it anyone if course but why does this have anything to do with his mother?

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 24/06/2026 21:18

Anyusernamewilldo8963 · 24/06/2026 17:55

If i do an online report and ask them to sit on it for the time being will the police do that or is it like in cases of DA where they can take it forward and bring charges without the victims consent? I'm struggling tbh as part of me wants to report him but the other part is loathe to add to my friends distress at this time

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I had similar/ different. They "log it".

I reported it and said i didnt want to.do anything further - they guy in question was a lunatic. It was not a problem. Its recorded and they dont act on it.
I agree with the poster who said even if you dont prosecute (i think you should) you should log it - ot builds a picture

Original poster

Anyusernamewilldo8963 · 24/06/2026 21:13

ThreadGuardDog · 24/06/2026 21:04

I would also add that a fair few posters were doing their level best to insinuate that you must have encouraged him in some way for it to happen. It’s pathetic.

Edited

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I agree, thankfully they were the minority but they are clearly in the camp of thinking I must have somehow encouraged him and wanted this to happen. I honestly don't know what's more depressing? The victim blaming, the minimising or the ones that think its not an issue and/or he's not possibly to blame because he was drunk/it must have been a mistake

OP posts:

Poshjock · 24/06/2026 21:06

Differentforgirls · 24/06/2026 18:29

Wayne Couzens. Google how many times he exposed himself before murdering, in the most awful way, a young woman. You need to educate yourself on these things. "Grow up a bit"? Yes, you should.

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Also Libby Squire's murderer. Libby herself was flashed at in the weeks prior and her mother believes it was her killer as he was so prolific in the area exposing himself, peeping and stealing underwear. The police at the time did not do enough to find the perv that so many students were complaining to them about and poor Libby paid the price.

ThreadGuardDog · 24/06/2026 21:04

Anyusernamewilldo8963 · 24/06/2026 20:50

He has admitted it and "apologised" blaming the drink 🙄 I have not responded to him in anyway and whilst I have the screenshots and will keep them whilst a decision is made about reporting to the police, she has seen the messages he sent on his phone as he hadn't deleted them, so I don't need to show them to her and as I've previously posted I've no intention of forwarding them to anybody.

My friend and I have been talking via messages most of the day and I am hoping to see her face to face tomorrow so I'm hopeful this won't affect our friendship going forward and she knows she has my full support whatever decisions she comes to that are hers and hers alone to make.

I'm not sure that there will be much else to update so I would like to thank again the people who responded with support and understood the severity of this and those who called out the belittling and victim blaming posters on my behalf.

If after reading this full thread you still don't see this as a criminal offence and you think I'm over reacting then shame on you as you are contributing to the problem.

I would also add that a fair few posters were doing their level best to insinuate that you must have encouraged him in some way for it to happen. It’s pathetic.

cupofteacupofteaalmostgotshaggedcupoftea · 24/06/2026 21:01

TeaCupTinsel · 24/06/2026 20:12

I'd screenshot it and send it to her and his Mum.
Make sure you screenshot enough so she knows it was completely unsolicited.

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No, that is also a crime, as the photo sent to a third party will also be unsolicited, and doing so may also fall under the crime of revenge porn.

Sometimessmiling · 24/06/2026 20:53

Anyusernamewilldo8963 · 24/06/2026 20:50

He has admitted it and "apologised" blaming the drink 🙄 I have not responded to him in anyway and whilst I have the screenshots and will keep them whilst a decision is made about reporting to the police, she has seen the messages he sent on his phone as he hadn't deleted them, so I don't need to show them to her and as I've previously posted I've no intention of forwarding them to anybody.

My friend and I have been talking via messages most of the day and I am hoping to see her face to face tomorrow so I'm hopeful this won't affect our friendship going forward and she knows she has my full support whatever decisions she comes to that are hers and hers alone to make.

I'm not sure that there will be much else to update so I would like to thank again the people who responded with support and understood the severity of this and those who called out the belittling and victim blaming posters on my behalf.

If after reading this full thread you still don't see this as a criminal offence and you think I'm over reacting then shame on you as you are contributing to the problem.

Well said. You sound like a friend worth having.

Original poster

Anyusernamewilldo8963 · 24/06/2026 20:50

He has admitted it and "apologised" blaming the drink 🙄 I have not responded to him in anyway and whilst I have the screenshots and will keep them whilst a decision is made about reporting to the police, she has seen the messages he sent on his phone as he hadn't deleted them, so I don't need to show them to her and as I've previously posted I've no intention of forwarding them to anybody.

My friend and I have been talking via messages most of the day and I am hoping to see her face to face tomorrow so I'm hopeful this won't affect our friendship going forward and she knows she has my full support whatever decisions she comes to that are hers and hers alone to make.

I'm not sure that there will be much else to update so I would like to thank again the people who responded with support and understood the severity of this and those who called out the belittling and victim blaming posters on my behalf.

If after reading this full thread you still don't see this as a criminal offence and you think I'm over reacting then shame on you as you are contributing to the problem.

OP posts:

ThePoetsWife · 24/06/2026 20:47

You’ve done the right thing OP - and I am disgusted at the minimisers on here. They are the ones who need to grow up.

This is not normal behaviour - it is a crime for very good reasons. Also like flashing, this kind of behaviour sometimes lead to more serious sexual offences.

grumpygrape · 24/06/2026 20:47

TeaCupTinsel · 24/06/2026 20:25

I rescind my advice (unless it is covered in stickers so you can't see the genital area) and just for the purpose of informing the partner and his Mum how hideous he is.

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I think if you check OP's posts ( no need to read the whole thread) you will find she spoke to her friend about ten hours ago.

ThreadGuardDog · 24/06/2026 20:35

Stressmummy12 · 24/06/2026 18:25

Reporting it to the police a bit to far you’ve told your friend let her deal with it. And grow up a bit he doesn’t need reporting to the police he will be dealt with by his partner. You very well may loose your friendship if you report your friends partner and father to her child to the police 😂 some people I swear they over do everything.

So much minimising of this. It’s a criminal offence. Who knows how many other women he’s done this to if he thinks it’s fine to target his partners’ best friend.

While I’d understand if she didn’t want to do this because it would blow up her friends’ life, I think you need it pointed out to you that unsolicited dick pics are not a matter for laughing emojis and if OP decided to report him, she would not be ‘overdoing it’. I think you’re the one who needs to grow up.

ThreadGuardDog · 24/06/2026 20:27

TheDenimPoet · 24/06/2026 19:41

If it was me, I would have to send a message back to him and get more evidence that he meant to send it to you, then he can't play the "mistake" card.

Something like, "But I'm your wife's friend, don't you think it would be dangerous if we started this??" Then you have made it obvious it's you he's sent it to, and his reply will show it's no mistake.

Then, you can show her the evidence, and he can't wiggle off the hook.

And neither could she ‘wiggle off the hook’ because that reply looks as though she’s up for it.

TeaCupTinsel · 24/06/2026 20:25

Chlorpool · 24/06/2026 20:21

It’s an offence to forward obscene photos unsolicited.
Op can keep it to show to the police. She can’t share it.

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I rescind my advice (unless it is covered in stickers so you can't see the genital area) and just for the purpose of informing the partner and his Mum how hideous he is.

boringperson123 · 24/06/2026 20:22

Glad you and friend seem to have some sense and that you have standards

Chlorpool · 24/06/2026 20:21

TeaCupTinsel · 24/06/2026 20:12

I'd screenshot it and send it to her and his Mum.
Make sure you screenshot enough so she knows it was completely unsolicited.

Show quote history

It’s an offence to forward obscene photos unsolicited.
Op can keep it to show to the police. She can’t share it.