AIBU to tell my friend her partner sent me an explicit photo

Id tell her along the lines of 'could you please tell Joe if he sends me another picture of his pathetically small penis ill forward it to the police - i dont care how much he wants me'. That way you are telling her but leaving it all in her court.

Ewww. Definitely have to tell her.

Dh has some of my close friends numbers (and I have some of his friends numbers) but for things like messaging to arrange things or give updates. I don’t think it’s odd to have spouses friends numbers.

You’ve done the right thing 100%

I don’t think my husband has any of my close friends phone numbers, that in itself is odd.
I’d tell her and be prepared to lose her friendship, it can be repaired later.

Not if he's never had a reply. That will show she ignored him.

I disagree with not saying anything. If you keep it a secret from her when it does all come out, or turns out he has messaged others too and they tell her, she will then think maybe you were interested and happy to get his attention. If you tell her it shows this is not ok, you are not interested and actually wondering wtf is going on.

I think its interesting you say you're "slap bang in the middle of it" because I don't think you are, I think you're on the periphery of it, probably alongside other women he's inappropriately messaging.

Honestly I would just delete it and ignore it and not say anything to anyone. Block him in fact, that will put an end to it.

I'm surprised at pp who actually think that OP shouldn't tell her friend. She would not be much of a friend if she didn't tell her.

I must admit though i'm surprised OP is on messaging terms with this guy given she says he has form for shitty behaviour to her friend.

This is so odd that he'd think you wouldn't tell her. Did the message include your name. Any chance it's a mistake,?

I know of someone else who had the same happen to her.
i wouldn’t tell my friend but would reply with ‘oh dear, you must have sent it to the wrong person, but careful next time, it’s not exactly something people will be attracted to, there’s much better out there!’
you know she’s put up with much more, she’ll stay with him now too even if you tell her.

"hi nigel, this was obviously sent to me rather than friend, I'll make sure I get it to her, save you the bother. Hope all is well (get that mole checked btw!)"

Good advice!

This sounds really bizarre. Has he messaged you before? Any indication that he has been flirty with you?

There is the chance he was out with mates and they messaged random women in his phone.

But yeah I would tell the friend I had received an odd message and then it's up for her to investigate.

Assuming you've not replied, you could always respond to him and ask if he meant to send it to you or if it was a mistake, and then you can tell her what his response was too. Either way he's trash and she should get rid but at least she'll have the full picture.

Yes, you've got to tell her. Today. Can you arrange to see her f2f? If not , ring her and then send the photo to her as "proof".

It'll change your relationship with her forever I expect

He'll say to her that he was drunk and meant to send the photo to her. She'll believe him

Edit - obviously block him

Forward it to her and say I think this was meant for you not me. Lets her know without drama. Up to her how she deals with it going forward.

If you want to preserve the friendship, you could give your friend the face saving option of "this might have been a mistake but...". You know it isn't, he knows it isn't, and she will know it wasn't, but it might make it easier on her.

I couldn’t not tell her
what if she finds out anyway and knows you kept quiet about it

@Anyusernamewilldo8963are you going to see her in person anytime soon? To me, this warrants a conversation, face to face, asap.

as for him, I would stay absolutely silent. Not even an emoji.

Does he normally message you? How were your previous interactions? Am trying to gauge context behind his decision to send that to you, and will imagine she will try to do the same.