AIBU to tell my friend her partner sent me an explicit photo

An old friend of mine was in this position. We agreed we would both want to be told if it was our partner so she told her friend and sent the screenshots and her friend fell out with her. I know there are people saying they didn’t/wouldn’t, but you really do need to be prepared for this being the outcome. You need to be prepared to be called a liar, shit stirrer, possibly even crazy.

It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t tell her, and I personally would as I would want someone to tell me. Or you could take it straight to the police and she might find out through the investigation? But if I was going to tell the police, I might still tell her as a heads up. Sorry you’ve been put in this position. It’s awful.

eta in my friend’s case, the man had initiated a conversation (so knew full well who he was talking to) and then when my friend told him she was sending the screenshots to his girlfriend (one of her closest friends) he was begging her not to so all very incriminating and she sent screenshots of all that too. Her friend still never spoke to her again and went around telling everyone my friend had made it up for attention. It was awful. Some people have a vested interest in believing lies.

I actually think this is a form of sexual abuse, like flashing. What a repulsive man.
If you have the courage I'd be tempted to get together with both of them, somewhere he can't run away, and then confront him. You could forewarn your friend so she's prepared. Two against one. This may be childish but I'd want to see the cowardly little bastard squirm and wriggle.
In any case, yes, tell her.

I can sympathise with the feeling. But if every woman behaved like that then sexual harassment would always go unchallenged. The OP should remember she has done absolutely nothing wrong so is not embarrassed by her own behaviour.

And that's how creeps get away with it
Sheesht wee wifey and sweep it under the carpet.
Nope the friend needs to know.

Yep I’m always accidentally taking photos of my vulva and sending it to my DH’s best mate.

He blew up her life not you.

And that’s how they get away with it.

Sending unsolicited sexually explicit or pornographic images to an unsuspecting woman is a criminal offense in the UK. He is a dirty perv. Your friend deserves better.

I don't think I would tell her. I'd pretend it never happened. Too too embarrassing. I expect it was a mistake.

It didn't for me.

I'd seen that my flasher had sent and deleted a load of messages, so when I saw it flash (pun not intended, but proud of it nonetheless 🤣) up I screenshot it like a ninja - good job too as it was deleted in seconds.

He clearly got off on sending them but deleted because he was ultimately aware it was illegal.

The police were fine with my screenshot, came to see it, and asked me to keep it until resolved, just in case it went to court.

I’d contact the police. It’s flashing. And let them visit him. It won’t go well if you tell her and it’s not a woman’s job to deal with the illegal behaviour of her husband/partner. Just contact the police. We should not be minimizing these things just because we vaguely know someone.

I dont think it will. Think if you do report you can tell the police you took a screenshot in case he deleted it.

Yes it’s a criminal offence. Ideally I’d want to see her face to face as pp said to discuss, even if you speak on the phone about it. Tricky situation. It won’t be the first time he’s done it I can guarantee that.

If she doesn’t believe you then show her the screenshot. Don’t delete it. I disagree with other posters saying he probably meant to send it to his wife. He either meant to send it to you or another woman (maybe several).

Deffo tell her then it’s up to her what she does with the information.

Cyber flashing without consent is the offence. Consent can be a grey area - obviously not in your case so an actual offence you could report, but you could forward to your friend if she agrees I think.

@Anyusernamewilldo8963 could it have been by accident? Meant for his partner.

All these posters saying to message him back and say: "Whoops Kevin, you probably didn't mean to do this!"

Of course he bloody did and he's had hours to retrieve it or make his excuses. He's a pig and the friend deserves to know.

Hope you're ok @Anyusernamewilldo8963 - I'd be tamping. Hope your friend gets back to you swiftly and that ideally you can see her in person to discuss it. If she's a good mate then hopefully you won't get caught in any crossfire. Sorry you're in this position but you're doing the right thing. Ignore the penis apologists. Whoopsie! As if...

He’s sending them to someone!

No one sends messages to their own partner via TikTok messaging, surely?

You definitely need to tell her, she's your best mate. They've been together for ages and have a child she's most likely going to come across the message in his phone at some point then will kick off with you for not telling her if you stay quiet about it. He sounds disgusting. I can imagine he's going to try to say that you encouraged him to send it too. Absolutely tell her what a filthy pig her boyfriend is

If you don’t tell her and she later finds the message she might assume that you were happy to receive it.

Sorry Julie, but Frank sent me a dick pic. I am so sorry that he is such a cunt and treating you this way. Can you ask him to stop any form of contact on any platform. Whatever you want to do after that, I am here for you.

I’d message the male.
Say this is unacceptable and illegal.
Say you have absolutely zero interest in him
If he doesn’t tell your friend you will.
He has until x to sort it.
If he does tell her you’re off the hook, your friendship is safe and she knows what he’s like.
Hopefully he won’t have the nerve to do it to anyone else

Report to the police and reply to let him know he needs to tell her why the police are interested in him. This is his to carry.