AIBU to tell my friend her partner sent me an explicit photo

Tell the cheating, dirty fucker that you are reporting him to the police for cyber flashing.

Your poor friends. You aren’t much of one.

I wonder whether it was sent to you by accident instead of another woman. If he was drunk and had recently sent you a random video (which is his normal behaviour) then it could be that he has clicked you instead of the person it was intended for.

Your friend needs to be asking to review his messages to see if he has been having an affair before she makes any decision on whether to try to forgive and move on or not. This could actually be even worse than just sending to her friend out of the blue, and could be the start of her finding out some awful truths.

Good on you for sharing with her, and I hope that nothing blows back on you (like he doesn’t try to get her to shut you out etc) - you were a good friend and did the right thing

2 possible outcomes from the sender's POV:

1. OP receives the message and gleefully books a travelodge for an afternoon of grubby, guilt-ridden intercourse. Not his guilt, obviously. He gets what he wanted.

2. OP is horrified and tells her friend. "But darling, why would I do that? I never speak to her!". Plausable deniability from someone with the IQ of a dried cranberry

To quote @RedToothBrush :

"he doesn't have the OPs telephone number. Instead he tracked down her social media account and sent a message. He can't have been that drunk to be able to manage this"

He did it deliberately. It wasn't an accident.

"he would have to be incredibly stupid to send that sort of pic"

No, not stupid: entitled.

He felt entitled to sexually harass OP in her own home.

Found the sender!

you must be, surely, because nobody in their right mind or stage of evolution would think this is OK

I'm normally against the "must have a small wang" jokes if a man buys a big car etc (what if they just like big cars, my old Jag was a MUCH nicer place to be than a Ford KA on a long journey) or aren't very proficient at parking. In this case I also agree here that there is no need to make the insult

But there's also no need for lots of nice things, like hot churros with caramel sauce, the condensation on the outside of a crisp glass of riesling, or a triple fried egg sandwich with chilli sauce and chutney. There is no need for an insult, but this guy's behaviour is so abhorrent that I'm 100% ok with it.

I reckon we can come up with some brilliant ones

Yes but drip feeding is incredibly annoying and lazy. I know you can filter by "all posts by op" but it's still frustrating.

I don't think that was meant for you.

Looking at the history of how you get on etc it doesn't sound like he has any interest in you, and he would have to be incredibly stupid to send that sort of pic and declare he wants you. It doesn't make sense.

It's probably the heat making me more grumpy than usual but I do wish posters would at least read all OP's posts before commenting on ancient history.
Apologies for an off topic rant but I feel better now. 🤗

The OP has very sensibly, imo, already spoken to and told her friend. The thread moved on a while back.

He might escalate if not stopped so you did the right thing.

He didn't choose you at random, but because he counted on you not telling your friend - through your desire to protect her.

I'm so sorry this happened to you, and your friend.

you need to tell her. Don’t give your view about it, call him names just say, he sent me this, I thought you should know

I think sending a dick pic is the same as flashing a woman in the street but worse, as you're invading her home.

Agree with this.
It lets her know, but takes the heat off you.
She can ask him about it and then he can dig himself out the shit of his own making.
Vile man.

I wonder how many other women he's been sending these images to. This is unlikely to be a one off

This but maybe
But i would go back to him with
I assume you sent me this in error rather to xxx ( partners name ) !!!

That way if it all kicks off when you tell her you can show her your responce .

A child living with a pervert.

Yep someone has just posted that exact thing!

How awful. You did the right thing in telling her. I’m afraid I also wouldn’t tell the police. Nothing will come of it, it will just cause even more drama and they have a kid.

id block him on everything though and be there for your friend. She may ultimately distance herself from you though, sadly some women will always pick the man, when it comes to it and blame the woman for their behaviour,

That’s understandable, even if not logical. And just demonstrates how difficult it is for women to deal with this kind of unwanted sexual harassment that they didn’t ask for.

Yet there is another, endless list, woman who is in relationship with thia specimen and has a child (if they do)

This woman chose this and will ignore the redflags and keep the child? in danger

I am lucky that I have never been sent a dick pic - or flashed, in the pre-smart phone days, when perves had to do it in person. I have often thought that, if I were unlucky enough, I'd say "That looks just like a penis - only much smaller!" Whether I would have the nerve, if it actually happened, I'm not sure.

Glad you have told her OP as this was the only viable next step.

It is a crime regardless of his state of sobriety and if you feel you do want to report it to the police then that's your right. If you do not want to that is also your choice. End of. Hope you and your friend are both ok and that this leads her to see sense.

Of course, and OP should report. However, I would personally would hold off for a few days at least to gauge the impact on the friend, who sounds vulnerable in that she's already put up a lot of shit from this man. OP hasn't said if the friend has DC, only that she has an 11-year-old herself. But the friend has been with dickhead partner for about a decade and therefore might. It's easy for us all to write on a forum that she should rush to the police asap, but the friend is a real person and this is her real life.