AIBU to tell my friend her partner sent me an explicit photo

If your friends partner sent you a pic like this, You’d have felt complimented wouldn’t you.

That’s why you do t see it as a crime, but harmless fun to be managed at home.

Yoi carry high risk of being a victim of crimes that you don’t understand are crimes.

Oof some of these comments are getting me so mad . The people saying ignore it, block him or he was 'just ' drunk, what planet are you on. The most upsetting was linking it to the football, you do know dv goes up every time england plays! OK this isn't dv but it is out of order. To op i am so sorry this happened to you , it is just gross. Meeting friends tomorrow and this has prompted me to bring it up, if any partner does this to me the only fracture in our friendship will be if you hide it .

Agree. I’m in my 30s and not experienced this. I too would find it pretty horrific.

is this normal to some people??

Bit late to this thread but I’m shocked at how many people are dismissing this!! It’s disgusting and criminal.

how dare he do that and use a stupid pathetic excuse.

for those who say he was drunk and it was a mistake And it’s ok - is that the same for rape? For stabbing someone? For pushing someone down the stairs? Would you laugh those off as “drama”.

your poor friend @Anyusernamewilldo8963i hope she can see how awful he is. Why do men think women want to see their penis??

I hope you’re ok. What a shock. I would log with police. This is a crime and it could mean he’d do more.

So he is scum, just not cheating scum…I just cannot understand how stupid some men can be.

I really thought we had got beyond the trend of dick pics…that they knew better. Seems they just never learn do they.

Telling us you send your mates partners filthy pictures without telling us.

@Anyusernamewilldo8963, I have read all of your posts. Well done for being brave and just telling your friend.

You have had to suffer the initial abuse and have had the guts and the integrity to do the right thing.

I am shocked on your behalf. I am 59, and have no experience of this but have read
that it is a thing. Thankfully it is a criminal offence. As other PPs have said, report it in order to have it logged.

I would find this traumatic. It used to be pervs flashing them selves in public now it is pervs taking photos of their penises and sharing them. He is a pervert!

If you check OP's posts you will see things have moved on considerably in the past 24 plus hours

Good on you for telling her OP, it was the right thing to do. If your friend would be supportive (as I totally get you wouldn’t want to add to her stress) then honestly I would report to police, it is a crime, and frankly the more people who are punished for it hopefully the less likely it will become. I have both a son and a daughter and don’t want either of them growing up thinking behaviour like this is acceptable.

@Anyusernamewilldo8963 did your friend do any checks to see if he is actually cheating.

I was on the side of it being sent on purpose, but to you by accident…I wouldn’t be surprised if it was intended for OW but sent to you by accident because he had recently sent you a random video.

I’d not be surprised if there was far more to this than just him trying it on with you (which would definitely be bad enough just on its own) and that there is probably plenty more for her to find out about him still.

Glad she has you there supporting her though. Some men are cretins.

Urgh
A male centered woman
Yuck

Nonsense
Let's stop making excuses for men

Of course. Forward it to her saying 'Steve's accidently sent me this message clearly meant for you.' Then let her deal with him; and be supportive. It may be the last straw, the evidence she's been quietly looking for.

Why are we making excusing for mens piss poor behaviour.
No

Stop making excuses for vile men

Agree 100

Me too
Not reporting and dismissing it with a shoulder shrug of "boys will be boys " contributes to a rape culture

It is now recorded, but no criminal record. It does show on an enhanced DBS check though

that's fantastic. Perverse fuckers

Flashing is known to be a precursor to other serious forms of crime so I'd report it. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I didn't and then he did something even worse. I'm sorry this happened to you.

I dont disagree, but one thing to consider is that the relationship shows signs of a troubling dynamic. If OP's friend is in an abusive relationship her choices and responses may be skewed.

OP, can I just ask, you mention at length that people are minimising his behaviour and you’ll stand by her whatever she decides. Her first reaction was to ask you not to do anything about it. Does that not mean she also is minimising his behaviour? I mean the fact she even needed to think about it suggests she plans to stay with him regardless and that for me would alter the friendship going forward because it means she is choosing him over the friend he violated. I’d have a bigger problem with her reaction to be honest. It doesn’t show the same loyalty towards you that you clearly have to her.

Why has nobody ever thought of this before?! All we need to do to stop men being sexual predators is tell them not be an idiot! Problem solved 🙄

For the last two pages of posters: she's told her. Back on p. 6. The situation has moved on.