AIBU to insist we rehome one puppy after my husband bought two?

Sorry but no ethical breeder would rehome 2 litter mates, I would contact the breeder and ask them to take one of them back, I have GSD’s, they are a lot of work.

I’m baffled that you even agreed to one, tbh

The kids can’t grow up with a decent dad because there isn’t one in the house.

Sounds like your dysfunctional childhood has created intergenerational trauma.

You need to rehome both of them!! You can’t possibly give even one puppy the attention it needs and especially a German shepherd, let alone two!

You are adamant you won't send them back OP. I can't feel sorry for someone who is so thrawn she would risk not only her health but that of her children & unbelievably that of the dogs who sound as if they will eventually become feral & dangerous due to their living conditions. Ah well, we've tried.

I very much doubt you have bought them from a reputable breeder who will take them back, because no responsible breeder would let an inexperienced home take two “because they are struggling to sell the girl” Litter mate syndrome is a real issue, to have two successfully from the same litter will take many arduous hours of separate training which is clearly more time than you have. It can be done, I know gun dogs from the same litter, but they have kennels and separation time, and separate training on a daily basis, as well as pack time with other dogs. It’s not easy!
He’s bought from a puppy farm I suspect…this has disaster written all over it, I would contact a rescue while they are still as young as possible so they can be found knowledgeable breed homes.

Also agree with these points.

GSD are high energy and usually very smart. They need a job. If you don’t train them or exercise them enough they are likely to become anxious, reactive, all sorts of problems. Never mind the littermate syndrome issues.

And your husband driving, didn’t spot that on first read but yeah. That’s not good.

A long distance lorry driver who is sleep deprived AND depressed. Not safe at all. That needs addressing even more urgently than the puppy situation.

Rehome the girl puppy to friends mum. If in laws get the go ahead to have a dog in their flat, then share boy puppy with them, they can have it part the week & back to you when husband is there to help train it. Sharing a dog works if pup learns young enough that it has two homes & has its own place/things in each home. I shared my first dog with my parents & it worked very well for all of us.
Currently, you are failing both dogs & your children. (Your husband is a selfish idiot)

This
your lifestyles is not suitable for one puppy, let alone two.
As litter mates they will bond with one another so no reputable breeder would sell them together.

It sounds as though he thinks he should make the decisions for your family. Is this something you signed up for?

if you are equal partners then decision making should be equal.

Quite.

I am stressed for you love! This is irresponsible dog ownership on some many levels. Please ask your husband to sit down with you and ask him to figure out the solution. Even if you have to lie and say that you'll just give the dogs back for a while or whatever and then ask him to go to counselling. And lastly, try to figure out some extra support somehow for family where he can get a decent amount of sleep because driving for a living like that is also irresponsible.

Two puppies is not double the work.
It is THREE times the work, at least.

You have to teach each puppy individually, then both together.

To avoid litter mate syndrome - which is not really a 'syndrome' as much as a bunch of behavioural issues that are highly likely to happen when you have two puppies and not enough time, and more so if they are same breed/same age as they are evenly matched and more likely to compete over the same resources, have the same needs at the same time etc etc...

You need to ensure that whilst neither is alone/isolated, they spend more time with a human than they do with one another AND the time spent with each other is guided, managed, constructive (training, walks, puzzle solving, not free play).

That requires TWO competent adults who are there all day.

You do not even have ONE competent adult there all day if you have to go out at 4pm and he's working 60 hours a week.

Make the drive, return one, or ideally, both. Don't piss about, returning one/both now gives them a much higher chance of finding new homes quickly and with minimal stress.

The odds are if you do not, you'll be rehoming one or both once they hit adolescence and German Shepherds are HORRIBLE adolescents, really mouthy, bitey, over sensitive, anxious, needy and require huge amounts of patience and time.

I work with puppy owners every day, hundreds of them a week (I work for one of the leading puppy training apps and am a behaviour consultant) - for the sake of your sanity and these puppies welfare, please do the right thing. Your husband is a monumental dickhead.

German shepherds cost a fortune in vet bills, the vast majority of their care will fall on you, what was he thinking? I would rehome both of them, you don’t have the conditions to keep them. It’s madness, is your husband a teenager to not see this

What meds are you on for the ADHD? Seems like you could handle this man-generated chaos better if you had the right help.

So your husband is an ignorant and selfish twat. He drives a lorry after 3 to 4 hours' sleep which is outrageous.
Having three large dogs with small children is crazy and a recipe for disaster. (Personally I don't think German Shepherds and kids are a good combo, full stop, but that's just me.)
'Two for the price of one' puppies sounds suspiciously like a puppy farm.
Three dogs are a pack.
You're not aligned financially or in terms of how you make family decisions.
You need to lay down some boundaries here, OP, and stick to them. However hard it is.

TBH OP, the timing and family circumstances seem unsuitable to bring any pet into.
I think you need to rehome both puppies, not just one, as it's abundantly clear that you won't cope.

Have you actually read the OP?

My friend took 2 puppies from the same litter (border collies, so similar). She knew what she was doing and they are beautiful, well behaved dogs (now). However:

1. She hadn't any dcs.
2. She works from home.
3. Money isn't a problem.
4. She lives in detached cottage.
5. Next to a big enclosed field.
6. Even so, for 2 years she walked them individually & trained them individually. She said she had to do this because if she did it with both together they would focus on each other when she needed them to focus on her.

Exactly. Dangerous and irresponsible comes to mind.

THIS!!!
sounds like a terrible breeder if they let him take both.

one big dog is a lot of work - I know, I have one, and I refused when DH wanted to get a second dog. I know my limits.

your DH is an ARSE!

In fact the friend with GSD experience sounds better than the breeder.

A specialist GSD dog rescue for the other.

I hate the DH whose 'dream' was to have some kind of direwolf pack power trip probably. Dogs are not giant fluffy robots. They are not CGI.

This.