To think the daily routine is impossible. Disgusting house

Just get a cleaner

So I do 0 housework in the morning.

8am get up
8-8.30 get me and kids ready
8.30-9 school run
9am make a brew - empty dishwashers whilst making brew.
9-5 work
5-pick up kids
5.30- I make dinner, kids tidy up (anything that is theirs, from anywhere in the house).

Whilst making dinner I also put on a washloads or switch the laundry round etc)
6 dinner
6.30 - fill dishwasher and tidy kitchen (I also tidy as I go when I cook)
7pm if it's bath night then I clean the bathroom whilst doing that. I also put away laundry and clean the kids rooms at the same time. My kids are 6&9 and don't need constant bathroom supervision.
7.30 any other tidying/cleaning.
8-9 bedtime
9pm final tidy round/ laundry etc.
9.30-10.30, relax

I’ve three small boys. Husband always at work.
im on extended mat leave with my third and I have a cleaner who comes for 5 hours a fortnight to scrub all the bathrooms and floors etc etc
you’re working FT PLUS doing all the parenting it sounds like. Cut yourself some slack.

Get a cleaner and teach your boys to tidy as they grow up, (not assuming you don’t do this already) but can you get them to expend some of their energy putting toys away, helping you sort and put away laundry, hang their clothes up , take any rubbish they make to the bin etc . Have a place for everything and teach them to put it there. This will help you if you do become a single parent. You could pay for a one off deep clean and declutter then go forward with a regular cleaner after that. Have you heard of the fly lady cleaning system, this is quite good (on you tube) where you target certain zones of the house on a particular day each week and get into 15/20 minute routines of a particular task / room so it doesn’t overwhelm you.

You need to take a week off to tidy and de clutter in summer holidays so kids can help then absolutely hire a cleaner to come in at least once fortnightly.
Your doing everything you should be and more your earning all the money and parenting your kids alone. Stop comparing yourself to others I always found that people who seem to have it all together are receiving massive amounts of support from parents, partner or kids stay at grandparents once month ect so don’t feel bad mines a mess too I can’t afford a cleaner though.

I'm a single parent to two, one with additional needs and I firmly believe that there is no magic routiene where 1 adult can do the work of 2. Just like if you were short staffed at work, some things suffer, single parenting you have to drop something too.

The things which work here are:

• I work a bit less than full time hours so I have some time at home most Fridays. I try to use this for time for myself, but also do a couple of jobs.
• One weekend in two my kids are at their dad's and I do things like wash the bedding etc.
• I work from home so I try and clear the surfaces in the kitchen if I'm waiting for the kettle to boil etc.
• I have a cleaner for 2 hours a week, so I don't clean bathrooms or inside fridge, oven etc and I only hoover or mop if people are coming over
• I try and put the dishwasher and washing machine on in the morning and empty in the evening.
• Both my kids know how to cook and take a turn sometimes (this would work even better with cleaning up, but that is a work in progress!)

Even with all of that my house is a long way from being a showroom!

I work full time and keep on top of house work. However, that's just due to the hours I work. I do 2 long days, and work school hours the other 3 days which makes things easier.

snap! Then I throw in getting up at 5am 3 x week and 2 x late evenings a week + basically all sunday evening for kid A's hobby (Kid B takes up sunday AM), then their other hobby on a Friday, plus being the main driver as well as working the 40 hrs a week, doing the school runs, and the majority of the gardening.

I also have to find another hobby for Kid B..

My kids are old enough to contribute though, and this summer is going to be a shocker to them as I am fed up to the max, so they are going to participate in the care of the house or else.

I love it too. I unload the dishwasher, feed the dog and if my teens have left crumbs post last snacks - I’ll wipe down all the surfaces again.

but I love “closing up” the kitchen with everything clean and tidy and dishwasher on. Makes getting up in the morning a lot more enticing!

I’m another one who gets up at 6 and tidies up a bit while having a quiet cup of tea. Actually quite enjoyable!

Sure thing yes

I didn't say that. There's a vast space between tidy and a tip into which average falls.

but everyone you know who doesn’t fall in to any of those categories and has kids lives in a tip. That’s unusual that they all live like this but 🤷‍♀️

I fall in to several of those categories. My house is average - neither a tip, nor a show home.

Good for you.

I had 3 under 3 .DH worked away and mine were horrendous
Utterly horrendously behaved
(Autism diagnosis came later )
But anyway..I used to shower the night before,get dressed for the next day and then sleep in my clothes.. because I couldn't leave them alone in a morning unsupervised while I got dressed .
I'm not suggesting that ..I'm not suggesting autism either .
But you definitely need to get up earlier..7 am is to late .
Is there a breakfast club or after school club you could book them in to ?
You need a break ..you need to carve out some child free time ..
I had mine at all kinds of activities.. because if they didn't go to bed exhausted,they were not going to sleep
If no activity after school ,I took them to the park for an hour ,or to a field with a football..imho ..boys are like puppies..you have to exhaust them .
I think... concentrate on getting them asleep earlier,by exhausting him ...and that will free up a bit of your evenings to do a small cleaning job a day ..if you manage a small job a day ,it soon adds up to a clean house .
I have a rota ,so I know which job I have to do each day ..I'm still struggling,but now I'm on ritalin I'm more on top of things..( not suggesting ritalin for you ,just saying that's what helps me )
And ,again ,try to get them in to breakfast club ..so you have to get them up earlier

You don’t have to take it personally, the PP wasn’t saying you have a dirty house. There are always exceptions to general rules!

Eg - put mission impossible music on and see how much they can tidy before the end

use a timer and make it a competition- who can tidy most before the timer goes off

use a marble jar etc with a marble for each thing tidied and a prize for a full jar etc

I think everyone is different, my house always looks pristine even when I had a youngster because I can’t rest if anything slightly out of order. I still get up at 5.15 to fit a walk in before work and do something every day tidying wise. Could never live in a mess but I have a very tidy organised nature.

A tip for getting/keeping on top of the bathroom - clean it every day when you’re in there - while brushing teeth, while bathing the kids, a few mins after going to toilet etc. then it never gets bad and always looks roughly presentable.

can also apply to kitchen - do it when you’re cooking, making cup
of tea etc.

tidying - turn into a game for the kids?

I put in a flexible working request and work a 9 day fortnight. Every other Friday (my day off) I spend deep cleaning the house. Its the only way I can keep on top of things

Once you’ve cleaned the bathroom make it a habit to wipe / dust the bathroom with a wad of tissue in the mornings when it’s damp from showers to stop the buildup of grossness. It takes literally a minute and keeps it looking clean all week. Then the actual clean with products at the weekend is really easy and quick.

And your house a tip or do you fall in to
one of those categories?

I don’t fall in to any of those categories and I have children and I am a single parent and my house is absolutely not a tip, pretty much the opposite in fact

My house was a tip when my dc were this age and I had a 2 hour daily commute and useless husband who I divorced because if this.
one tip I have when I wfh is every time I go to use the bathroom I’ll quickly wash the sink, then the next time the toilet then the bath. So the dirt doesn’t build up. Do little jobs as and when you can but I think you are understandably exhausted so don’t push yourself as it’s a hard time.

Yes.

I'm a lone parent op and honestly I found it weirdly easier doing things on my own because you just know you have to, you are plan a and b so your own routine becomes very important.

I would look at the age of your kids and get them more involved and incentive them to do certain tasks around the house. My 3yo is responsible for clearing up his own toys after playing, we do laundry together (he loads the machine/ unloads it while I hang and then he puts his clothes away into the baskets in his room). He is responsible for putting his things in their place when he gets home from nursery. As he gets older those tasks will obviously change with his ability.

I outsource what I can on a budget, so groceries are delivered to me and I get my windows cleaned and pay for my car to be cleaned, i also treated myself to a robot lawnmower so i don't need to cut the lawn. I cook mostly in the slow cooker and batch cook once a week so I'll do a large pot on the hob and then have the slow cooker going at the same time. Means I only need to do lots of dishes once a week and the rest of the week it's serving stuff only and means much quicker, decent dinners every day and no mental arithmetic of what to have for dinner. I tend to cook the same 4-5 meals on rotation that ds and I both like. I prep everything including lunches and overnight oats for breakfasts.

I prioritise downstairs every night. So I make sure my kitchen is cleared and clean surfaces and quick under table sweep, tidy in living room and make sure things are in their place. I use baskets for different toys so everything can just be dumped in by type and looks tidy enough.

I then pick a room a night on top of that and do a sweep for 30-40 minutes, so bathrooms one night, my bedroom one night, my sons one night (though he does everything bar dusting hoovering and sheet changes in there so it never takes much). I hoover and mop downstairs once a week.

I wft but I do 2x days a week from home and I utilise my lunch hours for any catching up cleaning. My aim every week is to try to keep on top during the week and then we're out as much as possible during the weekend which also means less cleaning needed. I do a load of washing most nights to keep on top of it.

I hear you about bedtime, mine struggles with it too and it really reduces the downtime I get. I prioritise the bare minimum cleaning on those days and I also work up a few minutes flexi time every day so then once a month or two I give myself a day to myself, i spend the morning catching up if needed and the rest of the time doing something for me.

If your husband takes your kids some times during the week as custody arrangements that will make it easier. I'm not going to lie I basically live like we are both going to get ill tomorrow but it means I never really let myself get too behind. And then if we are sick or something happens it's not a massive issue to get caught up.

Doing a declutter is also a key part of managing mess. The less things you have and the clearer their place to go is the better.