To think the daily routine is impossible. Disgusting house

I have a cleaner

and 7 am is a lie in! 5.30 I am up get stuff done and get myself ready

YANBU
i simply cannot bear all these replies which say oo I have a cleaner or ooh clean the shower when you are in it. Be realistic
My house was a tip for years, it's impossible without either one parent working full time and constantly tidying up or getting a cleaner .There is simply too much to do with 2 young kids. Enjoy the time with them while they are young and go easy on yourself. I prioritised quality time with kids and actually getting out and doing a hobby once or twice a week. This would result in DH doing bedtime on those night and house looking even worse and him doing sweet FA but that is another story.
Now i am single, my house is tidy, but quiet and I look back with fondness on the time with them.
It all depends what level of mess you can tolerate
When you are tired...REST, not clean. The men do. Otherwise you will burn out

Same. I’ve come to the conclusion that the time to myself is more important than living in a show home because that’s what allows me to stay calm and present with DC. So long as the house isn’t actually hazardous, just roll with it. We’re all doing our best 🤷‍♀️

Hey here’s a weird tip from a Boy Mum a my ds absolutely loved listening to classical music at bedtime age 5-6. He really can’t sleep without it now!

He does not like reading at bedtime - we always do that before school

He’s 7 now so he has moved on to the theme tunes of ET, Star Wars, Harry Potter and similar - he has a playlist he likes the same tunes in the same order each night.

At first I had to sit with him until he settled but now I just say “bedtime now, goodnight” and turn on the music and leave .

He is absolutely NOT a classical music kind of kid - just your typical tear away who moans about schoolwork. But maybe it’s worth a try!

Honestly getting up even half an hour earlier is a game changer. You feel ahead of your self for the day instead of behind.

No young kids as dd is a teenager but both she and DH can be messy. DH does clean the kitchen every time he uses it and does all the laundry and the dishwasher etc.

Also in a big, old house and it is clean and tidy 99% of the time and I work full time mostly from home. So, I have a cleaner once a week but I do a basic tidy, clean main living area daily and don’t go to bed on a messy kitchen/eating/living area ever. Reset every day so it’s fresh in the morning.

But I do most actual cleaning first thing and I get up at 5am. That’s just when I naturally wake up btw - not getting up at 5 to clean but I do it if it needs going. I never do the bathrooms, only the cleaner does those. I probably hoover twice a week downstairs and cleaner does up and down once a week.

Re the shower… some practical advice… I clean mine when I’m in it. Takes like 2 mins. I have a sponge washing up liquid and a squeegie thing in there.

Cleaner if you can afford it. We have one 4 hour clean once per month. It’s £80 so still obviously a big spend/luxury but £20 per week doesn’t feel wildly expensive or unmanageable like a weekly clean would (for us, anyway). It’s just enough that everything is clean and ‘reset’ every 4 weeks so no massive dust or grime is able to accumulate. Although it probably does help that DH is a complete tidy freak!

Also, as you’ve got the space, get shitloads of storage boxes/baskets so that everything has a home and can quickly chucked into the right place at the end of the day.

This is not going to be popular but I switched to quick fix products/ consumables.

for the floor, flash wipes/ floor mop thing. It feels wasteful but the floor is something I had really been struggling to get on top of. I’ve stopped worrying about the cost of buying these (they are pricey) as I don’t have a cleaner and this enables me to keep on top of things.

for the bathroom, one of those dishwashing sponge on a stick that you fill with fairy liquid, plus a dry cloth. They live out on display (so that I use them, a quick swish a dry after my daily shower) but I can always stash them in a cupboard very quickly if expecting company.

i’m still looking for more quick fixes like this. Robovac when I can afford one. That sort of thing….

I think the first thing you need to do is get your husband out of your space. You'll be able to see so much more clearly. Having someone in your space is a mess in itself.

Honestly I feel the same and I only work 2 days 😂 I have fibromyalgia and PMDD. On my days off I have 1 or 2 tasks to do per day and even then I struggle. The fact you work full time and keep your kids well fed and dressed and in school is such an achievement. As long as your kitchen is hygienic to cook etc I’d just lower your expectations of yourself. Other people have help. I don’t care what they say. Even if it’s parents who take the kids to dance class or something once a week. In reality, other women have husbands who do half the work, cleaners & a full village including friends who do play dates and share school runs etc. That’s time people use to clean. You don’t have that village. Don’t be so hard on yourself 🩷

Cleaner once a fortnight.

I tend to keep on top of the house now as when I let it build up or haven’t got a routine it affects my mental health, feel overwhelmed and frustrated so I am very regimented now. I kinda have to be. I have 7 children, 5 teens and 2 toddlers. It’s hard work. A few things I do is. I clean the bathroom each day when I have a shower, personally I find it easier and it’s now often just a quick wipe around with disinfectant because I do it so often. Toilet I give it a clean once I go for my morning wee 🙈 and then again give it a quick wipe down with disinfectant when I go to bed. Dishwasher goes on every night and I empty it in morning just before doing breakfast so the dishes can go in. I get up at 0600hrs an hr before the kids start rising and that’s when I do most house bits like hoovering downstairs, I do the stairs and upstairs after tea but before bathing and putting toddlers to bed, so it’s a clean slate every morning. I do most cleaning bits in the morning because I like my down time in the evening plus I do like early nights watching tv child free. It was honestly hard at first but once I got into a routine that worked for me, and kept on top of it, now even bigger tasks are only little 5-10min tasks because I do it often it’s not actually ‘dirty’ or ‘unclean’ it’s just refreshing. One thing I advice is completely declutter and try and find a ‘home’ for everything. I often go in each room with one of those rectangle plastic washing baskets and anything out of place or on floor (from the kids) it goes in the basket. Then I sort out the basket. For me it was less overwhelming just working from the basket (if that makes sense) I do that in the kids rooms also when it needs resetting from them ‘tidying’ and ‘keeping their rooms tidy’ because let’s face it those with teens will no doubt understand they are not the tidiest and that’s where most of our missing cups and glasses end up 🤷🏻‍♀️🫣. Xx

I used to ask my parents to have them a few hours at weekend or my partner to take them out and I would blitz it

You can do this! Just make small changes one at a time. You got this

It's easier said than done, but cleaning as you go makes the big cleans a lot easier. Clean the toilet and sink whilst kids are in the bath, quick clean of the bath when they get out. Washing up and wiping down sides as you're cooking, clean the table and wash the dinner pots as soon as you finish. If your DC need a lot of attention do quick bursts in between activities at the weekend, few minutes here and there polishing, sweep and mop/hoover one room at a time.
I have weeks were I'm on it and can do it. Other weeks I'm exhausted so sat on here instead of getting the work done!

Since my kids left home I’ve become a lot more lax in my household chores! I figure that there’s only me who sees it and tbh I don’t care that much that it’s a bit dusty or the stairs need hoovering!

Anyway it’s too hot to do it at the mo!

Sounds like a normal house with FT working parents to me!
Tips - do one small task a day no more than 20mins such as dust one room, clean shower, hoover one area.
You'll never be on top of your chores, they'll always be there and your work will never be done so to speak.
Failing that, accept that most of us live in a functioning pig sty or get a cleaner?

Can you try audio books or soft music while the kids go to sleep. It might help them drift off and free up some time. My library does them so you can borrow them online. Might be good for you too

Gets the kids to help … given them chores each to earn pocket money. Put the phone down … if you can find time to post on MN you can find time to clean, even if it’s a 10 minute bathroom wipe down. Clean the kitchen up while you’re cooking.
Many people clean the shower while they are in it … wipe the toilet round after use and do the sink while you’re brushing your teeth.

I clean either upstairs or downstairs weekly. And I just blitz it, so yes it does take me all day one weekend but unfortunately that is what it takes. Bleach down the toilet at least weekly, wash towels/sheets weekly, dishwasher nightly and sweep up in kitchen, and wash clothes as needed (usually 4-5 days a week).

I only have 1 child, which helps, and he is 9, which also helps. DD is also not completely useless he can either take DS out or I can tell him to clean the bathroom and he eventually will (he complains but he does do it). But yes, it is never ending and my house is definitely nowhere near as clean as I would like.

Get a cleaner !

My eldest has ASD and my youngest AuDHD and I found morning and after school instruction charts helpful in keeping them knowing what they need to do next. "Check your chart" is a common phrase in our house! I customised them for each child (homework/ reading/ sports etc) I got them off Amazon. They slide a tab when done.

Mine are grown now but a few things I found helpful:

1. Get up, showered and dressed before the other adult leaves the house.
2. Have a couple of no effort meals in the week so you don't have to cook every night ( make spag bol at the same time as roasting chicken, macoroni cheese/ lasange for the freezer or even just jacket potatos) eat with the children.
3. Have one drawer in the boys bedroom(s) with school clothes in including pants and socks) then they can dress tgemselves.
4. Got this one on here: breakfast after getting dressed school sweat shirt on after that.
5. Agree with PP boys are like puppies outside time everyday bonus is while they are oitside they are not messing your house up.