Regret blocking my only friend

Why dont you read your post back to yourself and pretend the writer was your daughter or someone you love. He is an absolute tosser with huge control issues. Your issue is not that you blocked him its that you should have blocked him forever ago and concentrated on finding real friends not people who groom you to use you. There are numerous ways to make new friends. Concentrate on moving forward and creating new interests, friends and hobbies. Don't look back. Xx

Have you had any therapy?

I think it would be a good idea.

You seem very vulnerable.

He's not your friends end he was using you.

Use social media to find a group of people who like doing the things you do eg coffee or walking groups. Go along. You will def meet new people I promise.

How can someone intelligent enough to supposedly do a masters at Oxford be this clueless about relationships and life?

Sounds like an Andrew Tate fan who objectifies women. „Low value” women go on dating apps - textbook manosphere. I bet this poly thing is only for him, god forbid his poor partner wanted to be poly with another man. You can’t be serious that you regret losing this kind of „friend” when you’re just an object to him

No, I think it's because you are coming over as a rather unpleasant person.

Agreed

But you also said maybe he forced it on her at a vulnerable time in her life. Make up your mind 🥱

Have you considered getting some professional help? Your lack of friends, your delusions of your own self-importance,your regret that you blocked this manospheresque caricature of a man, your 'disdain' (but fixation) for this man's wife, your grief over your boyfriend's death - all of it suggests a person in need of therapeutic help. I hope you will go get it.

And, also, nope, I am not lashing out at you coz you remind me of my worst fears. My worst fears are being with a man like the one you regret blocking!

Awwww, aren’t you a delight?

I read as far as the 'poly' bit. 'Poly' isn't a sexuality: it's not to be compared with 'heterosexual', 'homosexual' or 'bisexual'. Let's just speak hypothetically for a bit.

I'd like to be able to have sex with more than one woman. That does not make me 'poly', it just makes me honest.

It's irrelevant anyway, 'cos I'm a fucking incel.

I would rather be all alone in the world than friends with someone like that.

Get out, join clubs, get hobbies. The friends will come and stop judging this poor other lady. Coercion is connected to her having no self-esteem and trapped.

I think it’s also worth pointing out that the wife might not actually know she’s in a polyamorous relationship.

That could easily just be what he’s telling you, and in reality he’s just cheating on his wife and child.

The wife might not be a “terminal pick me”, and she might not be choosing this at all.

You said yourself you know nothing about her or their relationship - except for whatever he’s told you.

I suggest you use that master’s to apply some critical thinking to your beliefs about his wife.

But it’s great to hear you don’t want him. You should be proud of coming to that realisation already, despite his best efforts to manipulate you. You are worth more than this. But maybe take people’s words with a bit more of a pinch of salt in future. Especially when they’re married.

People like this always want to “own” people like you, because you’re shiny and make him look good. But in the end their insecurity always wins, and they try to knock you down because they hate that you’re better than them. If they’d all just keep to themselves life would be a lot easier!

My worst fears have very little to do with infidelity, and with the anger and loneliness of someone who struggles with friendships but is unwilling to examine the actual cause (which has nothing to do with your polyamorous prince).

I think you need to get some therapy if this is true.

Yes because he wants to use you for sex.

Well done for blocking him.

Who are you in love with and why are you not in a relationship with them?

My advice is: get off the internet and join an amateur dramatics club

That's what I did when I was in my mid 20s and creepy poly boy was acting interested.

This can't possibly be real. Nobody is this stupid and callous.

He isn’t your friend and never was. It’s concerning that you can’t or don’t see that. Thank your lucky stars that unlike his wife, you aren’t tied to him in any way.

Jesus, what a car crash.