Regret blocking my only friend

OP i have read some of the replies. Some of them are ghastly towards you.
You did the right thing getting rid of him
I don't think you were intentionally mean about his wife but trying to explain why any woman would stay with this creep.
I think he preyed on your loneliness
I think you are quite vulnerable due to your loneliness

Try to join a local group. Anything interesting just to get you out and about with nice people. You will find friends who do not take advantage of you, it just takes time.

There is an online group called Togetherall. Often many lonely and troubled people find chatting there helpful. I do not think a lot of the people on here are being helpful.

Abuse, coercive control, self esteem damaged by years of bad men, if you really don’t understand that then you are either not a women or I stand by my earlier categorisation. And where so you get off judging other women, saying she can’t do better. You don’t even know her, how about having sympathy for a fellow women in a bad situation? I really can’t be doing with women who do other women down, as I said their are enough shitty, misogynist men in the world to do that without you joining in.

Maybe work on yourself, make some friends (unless you can’t, in which case what does that say about you? Worth reflecting on) and work on your empathy. That will make you a better person and less likely to take scraps of attention from crappy men.

I’m sure I remember some threads about a poster who was blamed by many people for her ex’s death and I’m sure someone on one of the threads knew who she was! I remember the poster had quite a unique and dramatic posting style like this OP.

I get a vivid dream of his corpse in some state of decay

I’m sure I read another post like this sometime in the past.

Does anyone else remember?

Maybe it's the heat specifically affecting this first time poster?

OP appears to be wired very differently from the "norm"......

I’d rather be single and friendless forevermore that have a twat like that in my life!

OP, again the daughter of a polyamorist avant le mot here. My mother could have done better than my father. She was loyal by temperament and it was the 80s, she believed in the permanence of marriage, she was scared of the shit he'd throw at her if she left (rightly, I think)... in short, you don't know why his wife is staying. It's not your problem either.

That said, I agree that you're getting much more grief on here than you deserve, and I have a hypothesis now as to why you were so vulnerable to this man. What you write about dreaming of your dead boyfriend sounds horrible. I'm currently dealing with guilt about a suicide that wasn't nearly as close to me, and it's really hard.

I'm sorry you're dealing with that and sorry it has happened. I think 'poly boy' sensed your vulnerability deriving from this shock. People who feel bereft, confused and perhaps guilty put up with stuff. He really is vile.

It's hardened you in some ways, too, I suspect. You're right that compared to your dead bf, his wife does have a lot more choice. To quote the Grimm fairy tale, you can find something better than death anywhere.

I think you need help grieving and sorting through all the what-ifs and whys of your boyfriend's death. You've carried this burden for years, you need to lay it down somehow. All the best.

Have you seen what she’s saying on this thread? No wonder girly doesn’t have any other friends 🙃

I think you really want this man actually, deep down. But not that deep down because you’re clearly not a very deep person. You’re being so vile and disparaging about his wife that you’re coming across as incredibly jealous. It doesn’t mean you’re in love with him or necessarily fancies him but you clearly want him.

No, that’s not why you’ve been called names. When you join a group of women and start being incredibly nasty about another woman (in this case, the wife and other posters), you are signalling to the group that you are not a friend, you are not to be trusted and you are not a nice person, which is a trait that most people want in the people they talk to.

And not only have you been utterly contemptuous of this poor woman but, more importantly, you haven’t recognised that you’ve done it and when it was pointed out to you, you seemed surprised that it would matter to anyone.

Are you autistic OP? It’s just that you seem to have an inability to relate to people that I’ve only seen in people with Asperger’s.

He is still in love with me and trying to talk me round

Oh girl ….. he is NOT in love with you.

He is a greedy, creepy cheating wanker who wants his cake and eat it. He also has no respect for women.

She’s in a relationship with an unpleasant man who mistreats her because of poor self-esteem. It’s not that mysterious. Why you are obsessed with him and why he was your sole friend in the world despite only wanting to impregnate you is far more peculiar.

No youre being called those things because of your attitude towards peoples replies to this thread NOT because of your comments about this woman.

He sounds like a complete dick.. Ditch him right now!

Yeah, I felt bad for you until this post. Way to be bitch.

His behaviour is awful and your’s disfunctional if you think he is a friend, work on your self esteem but don’t do other women down, we have enough shitty men to do that for us.

I wouldn't be quite so disparaging of his wife if I were you. Unless you become a much better judge of character than you are currently, it sounds like you could easily be in her shoes in ten years time.

I put you are being unreasonable.
I really wanted to put YOU ARE BEING VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY UNREASONABLE.
How on earth is this a question? Or something you are doubting yourself about/or regretting???!

He is vile. You know he is vile. You know you do not want to be with him. So what is your post about?

I think OP is emotionally younger.

She’s 26 so not too young to have a baby but mentally she’s probably a lot younger.
She sounds quite vulnerable and not a typical 26yo.

Do a Claire’s law as a starting point .
you said yourself you feel she may have no choice now she is trapped with a baby . That’s coercive control . May even be financial too.
stay clear of him . Go back out and date and join a group / club and make friends. You can also take yourself out .

You have to find something else to occupy your time.

Get some therapy.
Join some clubs.
Find some friends.
Go on some dates.

At your age with no kids you should be living your best life, not wallowing over a man who doesn’t like or respect you.

Can completely understand why you have zero friends

Urgh. Join a group or something, this man isn’t a friend I would want, let alone be romantically involved with.

He sounds a nightmare. If you're way too young to have a baby how come his wife is past it when she's only ten years older than you. But thats beside the point. Run for the hills as far away from this nutcase guy as you can.