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AIBU?

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Original poster

He said he didn't want a meal then made himself something I don't eat

156 replies

Abbyarn · 23/06/2026 16:57

DP went to the supermarket earlier to get us something for our tea. Beforehand, he repeatedly said he didn't want a meal today and just fancied a salad. Its 37 degrees here and he didn't want to add to the heat in the apartment by cooking.

I would've happily had something more substantial but took on board what he said about the heat indoors.

I said fair enough, I'll just have a cheese and pickle sandwich then if you're having salad.

Meal time comes, I have half of my sandwich (which was shit because the cheese was warm) then I go into the kitchen afterwards to see him cooking prawn stir fry, eggs on the side. A big wok full of food.

Wtf? I thought you didn't want a meal I said.. I changed my mind he said.

I said he could have called and said that and I'd have asked him to get me something else.

He said he only changed his mind once he was in the shop.

I hate prawns which he knows very well, so I wasn't going to eat any of it.

AIBU to be pissed off?

OP posts:
Eggs2022 · 23/06/2026 22:57

Gwenna · 23/06/2026 22:54

He wanted to cook the prawn meal but because he knows you don’t like prawns and would have to make the effort to cook something for you separately, he persuaded you to have something uncooked and then made up a crappy excuse that he “changed his mind”. That’s my take on it, anyway. A CF to my mind, OP! Get yourself a tasty takeaway 💖

Edited
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Some things really aren’t that deep and some people really aren’t that manipulative

Gwenna · 23/06/2026 22:55

MarmaladeSandwich7 · 23/06/2026 21:50

Maybe a storm in a wok?!

Stir-frying up trouble 😁

Gwenna · 23/06/2026 22:54

Abbyarn · 23/06/2026 16:57

DP went to the supermarket earlier to get us something for our tea. Beforehand, he repeatedly said he didn't want a meal today and just fancied a salad. Its 37 degrees here and he didn't want to add to the heat in the apartment by cooking.

I would've happily had something more substantial but took on board what he said about the heat indoors.

I said fair enough, I'll just have a cheese and pickle sandwich then if you're having salad.

Meal time comes, I have half of my sandwich (which was shit because the cheese was warm) then I go into the kitchen afterwards to see him cooking prawn stir fry, eggs on the side. A big wok full of food.

Wtf? I thought you didn't want a meal I said.. I changed my mind he said.

I said he could have called and said that and I'd have asked him to get me something else.

He said he only changed his mind once he was in the shop.

I hate prawns which he knows very well, so I wasn't going to eat any of it.

AIBU to be pissed off?

He wanted to cook the prawn meal but because he knows you don’t like prawns and would have to make the effort to cook something for you separately, he persuaded you to have something uncooked and then made up a crappy excuse that he “changed his mind”. That’s my take on it, anyway. A CF to my mind, OP! Get yourself a tasty takeaway 💖

Happyjoe · 23/06/2026 22:19

KarmenPQZ · 23/06/2026 17:14

Meh. If he doesn’t get to eat prawns often and you’d said you were going to have a cheese sandwich he probably just spotted them and fancied them and so threw his ‘no cooking due to heat’ plan out the window. I can see why you’re a bit put out but I can see why he saw an opportunity.

He could've made himself a prawn sandwich!

MarmaladeSandwich7 · 23/06/2026 21:50

Maybe a storm in a wok?!

VividPinkTraybake · 23/06/2026 21:49

Nearly50omg · 23/06/2026 17:26

What a selfish cunt he is!

So so disproportionate.

VividPinkTraybake · 23/06/2026 21:47

MrsDroughtFire · 23/06/2026 17:01

What a selfish toad of a man.

I would make a point of cooking food he doesn’t like every time I cook in future and saying “oh I forgot you didn’t like it.” Just to wind him up.

I really think it is shameful thay people here make a situation more dramatic than it needs to be. Not one word of this is helpful

Theonethatlurks · 23/06/2026 21:40

Dillydollydingdong · 23/06/2026 21:34

Phone for a takeaway. Preferably something he really likes. Obviously he doesn't get any as he's already eaten.

This one ☝️

Theonethatlurks · 23/06/2026 21:39

Moonnstarz · 23/06/2026 21:29

But I have a husband who respects my decisions as a grown adult. I am also able to communicate with my husband, so if I disagree with something (in this case whether or not to cook something hot) we are able to do our own thing (if I was hungry and he said he didn't want to cook I would go ahead and sort myself out).
I give up trying to explain why an adult cannot say what they really want and then act disappointed when the outcome isn't what they hoped for.

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You know what? Good for you. I’m glad this works for you and is enough. My husband listens to me, we communicate brilliantly, we both treat each other as adults and ‘respect our decisions’ but we also think of each other in situations like the one in this posts. I’d call him to double check and he would call me. And I love that about us.

Dillydollydingdong · 23/06/2026 21:34

Phone for a takeaway. Preferably something he really likes. Obviously he doesn't get any as he's already eaten.

likelysuspect · 23/06/2026 21:32

SourdoughSally · 23/06/2026 17:01

YABVU - cheese should always be warm

Yes I like squishy cheese.

OP you should have said at the time that you're only eating the cheese sandwich because of his suggestion and you want someting more substantial then hemight have thought you wanted some stir fry (minus prawns) when he changed his mind

People are allowed to change their minds

Moonnstarz · 23/06/2026 21:29

Theonethatlurks · 23/06/2026 21:25

I give up trying to explain lack of consideration to you, you don’t get it. To be considerate is not to have to be expressly told to do something, it’s to have it in you to consider others. I guess you either have it or you don’t. I do have it, and thank god so does my husband.

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But I have a husband who respects my decisions as a grown adult. I am also able to communicate with my husband, so if I disagree with something (in this case whether or not to cook something hot) we are able to do our own thing (if I was hungry and he said he didn't want to cook I would go ahead and sort myself out).
I give up trying to explain why an adult cannot say what they really want and then act disappointed when the outcome isn't what they hoped for.

Theonethatlurks · 23/06/2026 21:25

Moonnstarz · 23/06/2026 21:17

Because she never expressed concerns about the heat to him, and sounds like said yeah fair enough get me a cheese sandwich then.

Why would he need to consult her that he had decided to have prawns? He knows she doesn't like them and as I have said many times, is not aware that she wanted something else as she did not tell him this.
It is a complete non issue.

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I give up trying to explain lack of consideration to you, you don’t get it. To be considerate is not to have to be expressly told to do something, it’s to have it in you to consider others. I guess you either have it or you don’t. I do have it, and thank god so does my husband.

PollyBell · 23/06/2026 21:18

Moonnstarz · 23/06/2026 21:17

Because she never expressed concerns about the heat to him, and sounds like said yeah fair enough get me a cheese sandwich then.

Why would he need to consult her that he had decided to have prawns? He knows she doesn't like them and as I have said many times, is not aware that she wanted something else as she did not tell him this.
It is a complete non issue.

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Exactly this why on earth do the weird mind games

Moonnstarz · 23/06/2026 21:17

Theonethatlurks · 23/06/2026 20:16

To check if she’s ok with him adding the heat to the house?? It was a big deal to him before he went to the supermarket so they agreed to not use the cooker? What exactly do you not understand?

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Because she never expressed concerns about the heat to him, and sounds like said yeah fair enough get me a cheese sandwich then.

Why would he need to consult her that he had decided to have prawns? He knows she doesn't like them and as I have said many times, is not aware that she wanted something else as she did not tell him this.
It is a complete non issue.

Flannelfeet · 23/06/2026 21:16

I bet in you're rage you are hoping he gets a dose of the runs after his prawn stirfry 🤭.

Theonethatlurks · 23/06/2026 21:11

Cloudconfusion · 23/06/2026 21:08

sure.

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Still not upset but keep trying! You’re doing great 👍

Cloudconfusion · 23/06/2026 21:08

Theonethatlurks · 23/06/2026 21:04

I said your assumptions were weird but I’m not upset by your weirdness! 🤣🤣🤣

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sure.

Confused Little Girl GIF
Theonethatlurks · 23/06/2026 21:04

Cloudconfusion · 23/06/2026 20:56

I said I didn’t think she lived there, as it made sense as to why she’d not wish to cook if he didn’t wish to, if it was his place.

are you ok, what an odd thing to get so upset about.

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I said your assumptions were weird but I’m not upset by your weirdness! 🤣🤣🤣

Fulbe · 23/06/2026 20:58

If you wanted something more substantial you could easily have closed the door and opened the window to let any additional heat out. Also using the hob is not the same as turning on the oven, which is what I think when I hear the word 'cooker'. I think you were expecting him to mind read for you. The shops are still open and you can go and get something you actually want.

Cloudconfusion · 23/06/2026 20:56

Theonethatlurks · 23/06/2026 20:54

So you just say that she doesn’t live there based on nothing at all? Really? Comments like this are so frustrating, you just chose to invent your own facts. It’s so weird and icky.

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I said I didn’t think she lived there, as it made sense as to why she’d not wish to cook if he didn’t wish to, if it was his place.

are you ok, what an odd thing to get so upset about.

Theonethatlurks · 23/06/2026 20:54

Cloudconfusion · 23/06/2026 20:48

Where does it say she lives there. Dial down the aggression.

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So you just say that she doesn’t live there based on nothing at all? Really? Comments like this are so frustrating, you just chose to invent your own facts. It’s so weird and icky.

Cloudconfusion · 23/06/2026 20:48

Theonethatlurks · 23/06/2026 20:33

Where on earth does it say it’s his house? Where???? Also he had both of their cards on him.

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Where does it say she lives there. Dial down the aggression.

BillieWiper · 23/06/2026 20:45

He should've said 'oh I'm making stir fry now. I want prawns on it but I can give you some without if you like?'
As the prawns could go in last.

But you weren't the one who objected to cooking in the first place so the fact he did so in itself shouldn't bother you.

Nobody was telling you to eat a sandwich, you chose to. Why was the cheese warm?

Theonethatlurks · 23/06/2026 20:33

Cloudconfusion · 23/06/2026 20:21

But I don’t think it’s her house.i don’t think she lives there, so why would he check with her,

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Where on earth does it say it’s his house? Where???? Also he had both of their cards on him.