Husband and trips abroad

To me it's not about cheating really. Let's assume you trust your partner. It's about it just being so unfair

>> Massive amount of family money put into a holiday just for one person and therefore not going to things for the benefit of the family unit

>> Annual leave use which then means leave can't be used for a fair share of child sickness / childcare

>> Annual leave which isn't used for family holidays

>> You have to solo parent during this time

Weekends away yes. A week if it were a one off / abroad wedding for someone close or something mega like someone's 50th then also yes. But just a lads holiday? No that's just not cool, not every year.

Two weeks seems too long to me. It’s a sizeable chunk of leave he could be spending with his children.

I can’t say it would bother me if my husband went on a two week holiday once a year with his friends, they are scattered across the country so a long weekend wouldn’t be long enough. They have been to Spain for 5 days and had a great time, I have no reason to believe anything untoward happened.
Is there some back story like his friends are all unreliable when drinking, liable to cheat because of their views/morals and will encourage him to do the same?!
We’re a similar age, all my husbands friends are either married with kids, with long term partners etc , the one or two that are single aren’t likely to be able to convince them all to start cheating.
Is it the destinations that bother you, the friendship group or the length of time he is away?

A bunch of married men in their 40's and 2 weeks in Thailand? Incredibly easy to get a shag or at least a hand job, miles away from home so absolutely no-one to catch them out, lots of booze and sun. I mean, what could possibly go wrong!

Wow if my husband said I can’t do trips with friends id divorce him

how can people live like this having someone tell them what to do ! Sounds like hell on earth

I got married to someone I like and trust and we do loads of trips/festivals etc without each other

some together - but it’s difficult at the moment cus we have little kids

if you think he’s likely to cheat then you think he’s likely to cheat - holiday or not - you don’t trust him and you should just split up - are you gonna keep him in a box to try and lower the risk of cheating

Men’s trip to Thailand? Grim

I find it incredibly selfish of him to have such a long holiday with his mates if you have a wife and children! Both me and my husband will absolutely go away for a weekend or so each year separately with friends, but I think 2 weeks- and that far away - is ridiculous. We wouldn't even want to be apart that long, or be away from our child

Luckily Thailand is not the sort of place where men get up to no good...

Absolutely not. A long weekend in Spain is one thing, half of his AL and god knows what percentage of your disposable income is quite another. It’s time and money that could be spent on the family. Why do people get married if they still want a single lifestyle?

Assuming he has a standard number of holiday leave per year, 10 days is a lot to take out on these boys trips vs holidays with rest of family. Also the cost would be quite high? I am not against some boys weekends etc but 2 weeks per year is a lot.

I trust my DH 100% so that’s not an issue for me. But 2 weeks of annual leave and £1000s of pounds is. Also the kids would miss him terribly, he’s very hands on. He does semi regular long weekends away to visit his parents/with his brother so it’s not like I can’t be separated from him. 2 weeks wouldn’t work for us though.

It's not something I'd be ok with DH doing. It has nothing to do with cheating, he travels for work all the time, if he wants to cheat he has ample opportunity but I trust him so that's irrelevant. It's the use of annual leave and household budget, occasional trips with friends are absolutely fine, he went to New York to see an NFL game with his friends when they all turned 40. But, in general, the priority is family holidays, family time and using annual leave and budget to spend time together and cover the school holidays.

It's not something I'd be ok with DH doing. It has nothing to do with cheating, he travels for work all the time, if he wants to cheat he has ample opportunity but I trust him so that's irrelevant. It's the use of annual leave and household budget, occasional trips with friends are absolutely fine, he went to New York to see an NFL game with his friends when they all turned 40. But, in general, the priority is family holidays, family time and using annual leave and budget to spend time together and cover the school holidays.

It's not something I'd be ok with DH doing. It has nothing to do with cheating, he travels for work all the time, if he wants to cheat he has ample opportunity but I trust him so that's irrelevant. It's the use of annual leave and household budget, occasional trips with friends are absolutely fine, he went to New York to see an NFL game with his friends when they all turned 40. But, in general, the priority is family holidays, family time and using annual leave and budget to spend time together and cover the school holidays.

Depends whether it's as well as family holidays or instead of them. And whether it's affordable without sacrificing something that impacts people beyond himself.

My husband and I have holidays with our respective friends and families but never at the expense of our holidays together.

No way. If you posted that you found out your husband was unfaithful on a boys trip to Thailand everyone would call you a fool for agreeing to it. There is no reason for a bunch of 40 something men to go away for two weeks on a holiday together. Yes for a weekend but long haul for two weeks, especially since money is not abundant. Has he been away before out of curiosity?

Our DC are quite young so I wouldn't be that pleased as DP doesn't have much leave so it would interfere with family holiday plans but if DC were older/left home and he was spending his own money it wouldn't really bother me. With my DP though I think this would be hobby related travel and so I would understand and probably do similar trips myself for my hobby that he doesn't really enjoy when have no DC to look after

Don't let him go to work either. He might cheat

I voted YANBU because I think you should listen to your gut. However, I wouldn't mind if my DH did this as I know and trust his friends, and he has a lot more holiday than I do.

If he has plenty of leave left over, I wouldn't be too bothered with him spending 2 weeks away, but the destinations are definitely suspect for a group of middle aged men. Drinking and whoring I think they call those trips.

My husband and I do different things but our holidays are family time, we go for weekends away, stag dos etc but not a whole 2 weeks, are the other men going on this annual excursion married with kids too?

How does he have enough leave (and cover school holidays) and funds?

Maybe I'm jealous of the idea of 2 weeks away to do whatever I like!

Are you very well off or would this affect family finances?

If you think the only thing stopping your husband from cheating is the probability of you finding out you’ve got bigger problems than the holiday.