To cancel date over his ‘joke’?

It's good to remember the bias though, do you not agree?

I remember the dating days, they would only last 4 weeks, then I'd get rid of them and be honest about it why. Mainly because they just had nothing going for them, a dead end job, no drive for betterment (education or travel), reaching aged 40 with a couple of children to different parents, therefore just existing, a slow march to death.

For me, if people didn't like how I was, or what I said. I would just move along to the next one until I found my "one". My "one" was a mum to 3 children. Together, with the blended family we have 5 children 🤣.

It'll be good to see her dating history, how many get to date 5...

Right, well your response implied that because the OP didn't like that particular comment that that meant she didn't value a sense of humour and can't take a joke.

yes - an obviously OP doesn't share his, hence he's probably not the right man for her...

The OP has to remember that this place is likely full of females, therefore the view is always slightly bias.

Dear God. What pod do these guys spontaneously generate from and can we cork it up?

Maybe so, over a quite a few years and a broad age range but the same area, similar socio economic group as well. Maybe its a regional thing??

FGS 🙄

Seriously, what on EARTH are you going on about?

As I said, raise your bar. And get back to watching The Inbetweeners, which you clearly find hilarious, judging by the juvenile and puerile words you're using like 'minge' and 'pongy...' Last time I heard words like that used, they came from a 13 year old boy.

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Wondering where the OP is and whether she went on the date after all.

Sounds like a biased sample if these were just regulars at the bar.

Maybe a class issue to miss quote common people "I can't help it I was brought up this way, my favorite parks are car parks, grass is something you smoke and birds are something you shag". I was a bar person for years and this is just how blokes talk, usually when their partners aren't around. Some of them were the sweetest kindest most generous people I've ever met. They would absolutely do anything for you and I would not hesitate to set them on a date with a single friend. Maybe just a bit of ignorance, set your boundaries, banter for his mates and respect for you! Maybe bringing his "whole self" backfired. I hate that phrase :)

Maybe that's exactly why she posted in this place, because she wanted womens views.

And many women wouldn't want to be with a man who said those things when he was around men all the time either, so overspill makes it sound even worse.

For a 5th date no way! Id be hard pushed to laugh at this from my OH, and we had been together for 31 years and both had fairly basic senses of humour. But someone you barely know, definitely not!!
Pity if he's ok in other ways though.

He may be testing your 'joke' boundaries and if you let this one go then they'll get more crude. The more invested in the relationship you become the more difficult it becomes to tell him you're not happy with his smutty jokes. This happened to me and for too long I let it go thinking I need to lighten up, it's only a joke. I ended up feeling really uncomfortable and realised how his 'jokes' were either 'blonde' put downs (I'm blonde) or referring to womens bodies. Ugh! And this guy's in his 70s!

Christ Chester I have a shower every night before bed! But not necessarily a shag.

The OP has to remember that this place is likely full of females, therefore the view is always slightly bias.

4 dates completed, into the 5th. He's made it so far, however made a joke which was taken badly. At this stage, you don't really know each other, therefore poor alignment at times can be expected.

If he's great in all others areas, you could just tell him during the date that you didn't like the joke. Let him explain the background or dig a hole.

He probably spends all day talking men-to-men, therefore an over spill.

If you simply said, I need to delay due to getting a shower and you've promised / discussed staying over, then I can see where the comment has come from.

I'm 4 years into a relationship, she'll let me know when she wants sex. She'll get a shower before bed...

Op hasn't been back

That’s a truly awful thing to say. I’d be really upset that he was trying to tell me he finds me smelly. I’d be way too self conscious to want to be intimate with him again regardless of how clean I was. id also not want to be with someone who thinks it’s ok to say things like that after a few dates; I’m not sure I’d even be happy with my husband saying it!!

I didn’t get the joke @thedyslexicmothership- can you explain it?

Do you know that there are different kinds of humour or were you not aware of that very obvious fact?

Oh yes, having a sense of humour is a must @thedyslexicmothership, I agree. It’s more important than looks to me and it’s why I find men like Sean Lock and Rik Mayall attractive. Jim Davison and Roy Chubby Brown not so much.

Sorry - but I thought this was hilarious! For me, having a sense of humour is a must. If you are so easily offended and don't get a joke, he's probably not the man for you...

I've never had a man talk to me like that ever.

They may talk about my vagina but in a sexy way, they certainly don't make crass jokes, so I definitely wouldn't be expecting that.

@Homesweethome93 Can you explain the joke? I don’t get it.

The fact she’s asking in here shows she’s not going to go on another date, Ever in doubt throw it out. So if she’s doubting it already then not to go on it.
and yes they clearly arnt on the same level are they.

But wouldn't you rather be in a relationship with someone you actually like/are on the same level as? Rather than ask someone to change themselves (and their skanky sense of humour) for you? Which let's face it, will never work forever. There will always be more jokes like it!