To cancel date over his ‘joke’?

Of course you can't guarantee. You don't know him. If you did, I think you'd understand. Sad if you really believe this is so common.

@BlueSherbet as @Battieshas said, it’s not the over-familiarity that’s the problem- it’s the language use.

I’m sure many of us here who objected to ‘whiffy growler’ wouldn’t mind a new man saying that he had enjoyed the sex, or saying something complimentary about our body. It’s the base and derogatory way of talking about women’s genitals that’s the problem.

It’s not that it’s overly familiar, it’s that it’s a derogatory to refer to a woman’s vagina as a ‘whiffy growler’.

Either way, I have started to question OP’s motives for starting this thread.

Think that you are missing something fundamental here. Being physically intimate with someone is a a beautiful experience - if reciprocal, mutual, consensual, respectful etc (doesn’t matter how long you have known them) whereas responding to any woman as if they are only a genital vessel in gross misogynistic language is vile, disrespectful, derogatory (doesn’t matter how long you have known them).

I wonder if you are victim blaming here ? Clearly you have a timeline on which you judge others for first sexual interaction and as the OPs didn’t align with what you judge to be acceptable - then she’s deserving of misogynistic abuse?

I can guarantee that he can. He just chooses not to vocalise them....

Thanks @Toker but I still don’t get it. I don’t find Katherine Ryan funny so that probably doesn’t help. 😕

One thing which has been troubling me on this thread - and please correct me if I have got it wrong -

I understand that OP and this guy have already slept together after just 5 dates (which is OPs choice).

Yet, people are saying ditch the guy because his joke was "overly familiar" (or words to that effect).

Of course he is being familiar with OP, they have slept together FFS. What could be more familiar than that?

Amazing that people will not bat an eyelid at people who barely know each other having sex, yet will be up in arms over an ill judged joke!

I wonder if we as a society / culture do not have our world view in a bit of a guddle.

That probably would give him the ick - its just the same scenario in reverse - but I still think that its harsh to ditch someone over one misguided or poorly judged joke. Its part of getting to know each others sense of humour etc.

I'll leave it to Katherine Ryan....

I've never had to pressure, guilt trip or insult someone into going on a date with me when they didn't want to. Curious that so many people have, and so many of them MRAs.

We’re still waiting for someone to explain the joke @Toker. Can you have a go?

A close shave for him! If you can't laugh at something like that he is better off without you! Considering dumping someone for a badly taken joke is just ridiculous!

I think he should defiantly join Pedants' Corner and when he comes back he might of learned something....

I’d also like to point out to this poster (Mr Drawers) that in one of his earlier posts he used the word ‘bias’ when he actually meant ‘biasED’

Ps- at least you are not pregnant right?!

hey just fart already that's the deal breaker right? lmao! life is too short bitches!!!! fuck have fun

But you can clearly see the difference in severity required before a man will burn someone lol

Based on what? Your former friends story? 🤔

I don't even think that shows a difference in severity anyway, getting sick all over a mans car isn't worse than what he did.

I'm not sure why people think that saying something gross isn't that bad and that women should let it slide.

Imagine if the OP made a joke to him about taking a massive shite......is he allowed to get the ick from that? I'm sure many men would be turned off women too if they were making 'jokes' like that and they would think they didn't want a girlfriend who sounded like the blokes down the pub etc. And I'm sure that if they asked other men that many would agree that it would turn them off also and that there would be no recovering from it.

Could someone who thinks this is a joke explain what makes it funny? Because I really can't see anything humorous?

I think its pretty harsh to burn the guy over one badly judged joke, especially if there have been multiple enjoyable dates already.

(A former friend of mine dumped a girl after she vomited all over the inside of his car. Apparently she has been nervous about the date, had a drink to calm her nerves and this happened. But you can clearly see the difference in severity required before a man will burn someone lol )

Its clearly intended as a joke by him, even if it was an error. I think that if it was over a text message that likely makes it seem worse, as you get no "tone" or delivery style in a text, it might have been funnier in the flesh (or not).

I havent heard "growler" since the days of Bo Selecta, is it possible he was a fan?

Interesting recollection of events, and definition of ‘debate’ for that matter. I did in fact reply to your deleted post.

‘Claiming she was something she wasn’t’? I ‘claimed’ to be someone for whom this type of talk wasn’t and isn’t in any way normal or acceptable. Which is true. If you truly cannot comprehend this then not only are your social and cultural circles limited, but your imagination is too.

And yes, yes, we know - any woman with standards is a Hyacinth Bouquet type with ideas above her station. Ever the cry of those affronted by the very notion. So very tedious in how predictably it’s trotted out.

The first two.

From what I've seen the ones who are saying it's lower class are saying that in response to women who are telling others they have no sense of humour and should loosen up and get a life and that if they're dumping men for that then that's probably why they're single.

Exactly @Rcgc is a poor judge of character and socially naive.

who are these women, ? the ones who are putting other women down , the women who call others 'fishy ' or the women who are claiming that the women who think its just bants or humour are lower class etc.. I've made perhaps a dozen comments or replies on this debate some playing devil's advocate and some of which have been removed by moderators because 1 man/ woman was clearly losing the debate so tried the hyacinth bucket reply by claiming she/ he was something she wasn't then had my post removed as I pointed out her mistakes

That’s a no from me

Try to read it again then?
It's fairly obvious. Your post was not that long