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AIBU?

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To cancel date over his ‘joke’?

838 replies

Datingwoee · 23/06/2026 15:52

5th date tomorrow night with a man who has been great up to now. I’ve had to push the time back by an hour - said I’ll need extra time to freshen up after work. His reply to me was: “No worries, can’t be having a whiffy growler lol”.

Is that date cancelling worthy or am I being a bit too harsh?

OP posts:
Ceramiq · 23/06/2026 16:38

It's not funny, it's misogynistic and trashy.

Lifeomars · 23/06/2026 16:37

Vile, 5 dates in and he's shown you his true self, crude and nasty.

MegMortimer · 23/06/2026 16:36

Vile and misogynistic. In MN speak, he is showing you who he really is. Dump.

PenelopeJoanSterling · 23/06/2026 16:36

if its a one off comment then in context of no humans being perfect then otherwise where do you draw the line, eg the next boy friend makes a comment or similar do you dump that one then next etc yes its grim and it depends on context but unless your a robot then no one is perfect, @Datingwoee

Arlanymor · 23/06/2026 16:36

I think it's fine to say that you'd prefer to postpone your date because on reflection you don't think that you share a similar sense of humour... and then see what he comes back with. If it's: "Oh my god, get a grip!" then your postponement can turn into a permanent cancellation. If it's: "I'm really sorry, I don't know why I said that, I knew when I sent it that it wasn't funny. Maybe the heat is getting to me a bit. I apologise." then you might want to reconsider. I think we're all allowed to say dumb stuff in the early stages of dating when we're nervous - it wasn't horribly offensive, but it was gross. Has he met your dog yet?

Snoken · 23/06/2026 16:35

I would have had to reschedule, maybe this time push it back to never.

fatphalange · 23/06/2026 16:35

Yeah I wouldn’t overlook that. Let him know exactly why dating is over, then you can both move forwards with separate plans.

Snufkin88 · 23/06/2026 16:35

Gross . Get rid

ChamonixMountainBum · 23/06/2026 16:34

How have your interactions been so far, crude humour, edgy, playing devil's advocate?? Or was this joke just completely out of the blue?? If its the latter, not so good, the former, has he misjudged where the 'line' is?

WiddlinDiddlin · 23/06/2026 16:34

If my DP of 21 years said it, I'd laugh and agree. But I did have to tell him his balls smelt like a dead rat yesterday.

But from someone I barely know, very early on - fuck no, get rid, he doesn't know you NEARLY that well to be talking like that.

Fizzybluewater · 23/06/2026 16:33

I wouldn't even dignify that with a response. except for I won't be seeing you again. Blocked.
Please tell us you haven't slept with this knobend.

FWC2026 · 23/06/2026 16:33

I was fully expecting to 🙄🙄🙄🙄 & tell you not be to do daft.

But I'm not. 4 dates & he thinks this banter/acceptable??

Yuck. I'd have cancelled immediately.

PinkNailPolish2026 · 23/06/2026 16:32

Dump. My DH of 25 years wouldn’t even try and crack a “joke” like that. What a horrible little man your date sounds.

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 23/06/2026 16:32

I'd cancel and tell him why. Eww!

Changingplace · 23/06/2026 16:32

Grim, the ‘male loneliness epidemic’ rears its revolting head again, yeah cancel.

Itiswhysofew · 23/06/2026 16:32

No, that's not good. Imagine what else he'll be saying before long.

What do you like about him? Just curious.

ohhhhnnnoooo · 23/06/2026 16:32

Alittlefrustrated · 23/06/2026 16:04

No point telling him his joke/language isn't funny, because he thinks it is 🤷
You can't change that. I'd move on.

Dump? Yes!
He also needs to know that it’s unacceptable.

drunkelephant83 · 23/06/2026 16:32

I did laugh but you can always reply and say ‘err that was gross’

patooties · 23/06/2026 16:30

Ew

krustykittens · 23/06/2026 16:30

Grim. Way too soon for this type of 'joke'.

Motomum23 · 23/06/2026 16:29

🤮🤮 oh god that would put me right off!

momtoboys · 23/06/2026 16:28

Oohanothername · 23/06/2026 15:57

Poorly judged joke. That's all. I laughed tbh 🤣 . If he's great in all other ways then don't dump him over this!

Really? I am surprised anyone would think that was funny. Especially from someone you barely know. To each their own.

momtoboys · 23/06/2026 16:27

NEXT!

MeMeMeMeOw · 23/06/2026 16:27

Don't meet him any more. He sounds about 12.

ChasingRainbow5 · 23/06/2026 16:25

Also if he thinks that's appropriate now, imagine what he'd come out with in a few months' time...

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