Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To cancel date over his ‘joke’?

838 replies

Datingwoee · 23/06/2026 15:52

5th date tomorrow night with a man who has been great up to now. I’ve had to push the time back by an hour - said I’ll need extra time to freshen up after work. His reply to me was: “No worries, can’t be having a whiffy growler lol”.

Is that date cancelling worthy or am I being a bit too harsh?

OP posts:
Chlorpool · 23/06/2026 17:54

I can’t imagine even knowing anyone who says things like this.
Grim.

Buzzingabout · 23/06/2026 17:53

Cancel immediately. He has no respect for women or you. Huge red flag. Shows his appalling attitude to women.

Plasticdreams · 23/06/2026 17:52

DreamingOfGeneHunt · 23/06/2026 15:55

If it was someone I knew quite well I would find it funny, but not someone I've only seen five times.

Same here

Anyahyacinth · 23/06/2026 17:51

It definitely the sort of implied possession AND criticism that suggests a future of misogynistic thinking ..forewarned!

PS5Gamer · 23/06/2026 17:49

Gross!

MrsClattenburg · 23/06/2026 17:49

CitizenZ · 23/06/2026 17:44

Am I the only one who thinks it's hilarious?

No, whiffy growler made me 😆

VerySadStory · 23/06/2026 17:47

@CitizenZ I fear you might be.

janeandmarysmum · 23/06/2026 17:47

CitizenZ · 23/06/2026 17:44

Am I the only one who thinks it's hilarious?

Why is it funny?

PenelopeJoanSterling · 23/06/2026 17:46

JHound · 23/06/2026 17:40

Not to me it doesn’t.

Edit: in fact it makes it worse. Would seem like after getting my hopes up this is just another dude solely after sex.

Edited

but then the question is why didnt the op make him wait ?

TFImBackIn · 23/06/2026 17:45

So this is him in the honeymoon period...

CitizenZ · 23/06/2026 17:44

Am I the only one who thinks it's hilarious?

Wibz · 23/06/2026 17:44

He sounds sloppy and impulsive. Even if you tolerate this he will embarrass you with others.

Grim. Trust your gut. He sounds like an oik.

JHound · 23/06/2026 17:40

PenelopeJoanSterling · 23/06/2026 17:15

but with the added context of having already done the dance with no pants it adds context

Not to me it doesn’t.

Edit: in fact it makes it worse. Would seem like after getting my hopes up this is just another dude solely after sex.

NoBluebutCerulean · 23/06/2026 17:40

Now that you have thought about it and talked on here it would be on your mind whenever you meet him.

PoppyGalore1 · 23/06/2026 17:37

Datingwoee · 23/06/2026 15:52

5th date tomorrow night with a man who has been great up to now. I’ve had to push the time back by an hour - said I’ll need extra time to freshen up after work. His reply to me was: “No worries, can’t be having a whiffy growler lol”.

Is that date cancelling worthy or am I being a bit too harsh?

ICK!

JHound · 23/06/2026 17:37

Harrumphhhh · 23/06/2026 16:22

Ugh. No. Cancel.

Have you come across the Burned Haystack method? There’s a Facebook group. It’ll help you feel better about blocking men early in relationships. They don’t improve.

Love that group but lament 21 year old me did not have access to this kind of advice!

PenelopeJoanSterling · 23/06/2026 17:37

InterIgnis · 23/06/2026 17:36

I don’t think it changes anything tbh. It’s repulsive phrasing regardless.

true

InterIgnis · 23/06/2026 17:36

PenelopeJoanSterling · 23/06/2026 17:15

but with the added context of having already done the dance with no pants it adds context

I don’t think it changes anything tbh. It’s repulsive phrasing regardless.

jenny38 · 23/06/2026 17:36

I would look at this in the context of everything else you have found about him. Its poor judged in a new relationship. However if my husband had text me this, I would have probably just replied with something to gross him out too.

Theworldsgonemadagain · 23/06/2026 17:35

It is a bit grim to be honest. I wonder if it's sent it and now regrets it. Sometimes people say stupid things if they are nervous/ don't know how to respond. Still cringe.

VerySadStory · 23/06/2026 17:35

I mean, who would find this funny? "the guys" in the changing room after a football match? I'd like to know. It's just disgusting. Not funny but disgusting, just plain disgusting.

It reminds me of a couple of months ago someone came on to ask if she'd be unreasonable to cancel a date with a man who'd proposed rimming by text in the most grim way possible. They'd had no previous discussion about it, he just sent a random text to a woman he barely knew. I hope to God she cancelled him.

AClassicTrenchcoat · 23/06/2026 17:33

Now that you have revealed you have had sex its less shocking. Puerile and tacky but more in context. It would still be a no thanks though.

SouthLondonMum22 · 23/06/2026 17:31

I'd definitely cancel. Ick.

chocoluv · 23/06/2026 17:30

I’m quite surprised by the responses tbh.

This would have made me laugh and then not think any more about it.

PenelopeJoanSterling · 23/06/2026 17:29

Mumtobabyhavoc · 23/06/2026 17:28

Hairy back and toe fungus.

if thats your fantasy then thats understandable

Swipe left for the next trending thread