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Original poster

To cancel date over his ‘joke’?

838 replies

Datingwoee · 23/06/2026 15:52

5th date tomorrow night with a man who has been great up to now. I’ve had to push the time back by an hour - said I’ll need extra time to freshen up after work. His reply to me was: “No worries, can’t be having a whiffy growler lol”.

Is that date cancelling worthy or am I being a bit too harsh?

OP posts:
AmazingGreatAunt · 23/06/2026 19:46

Crikey, so you have never had a date with an airline pilot in the middle of his "office" shift.
Young people have no idea.
However, you should not have sais why you needed the extra 30 minutes.

Bestfootforward11 · 23/06/2026 19:45

I’d cancel

bigboykitty · 23/06/2026 19:43

MandemChickenShop · 23/06/2026 19:39

cancel, but also let him know so he can improve his game going fwds

OP is not a rehabilitation centre for deficient men and nor should she teach him to hide his misogyny better.

Calliopespa · 23/06/2026 19:43

Even Austin Powers would have thought twice before deploying that line.

InterIgnis · 23/06/2026 19:42

chocoluv · 23/06/2026 18:59

I definitely think it’s funny.

I’m surprised so many people have taken such offence to it.

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I’m not offended or shocked, i just find it to be repellent in how base it is. It would kill any attraction I had for a man stone dead.

BikeRide · 23/06/2026 19:42

Cancel without a second thought.

Calliopespa · 23/06/2026 19:41

chocoluv · 23/06/2026 18:59

I definitely think it’s funny.

I’m surprised so many people have taken such offence to it.

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Yeah well its funny on this thread (though also kind of not). I've had the odd wincing giggle at some posts as I have distance from this foul man.

But this is the op's growler body he is talking about so disrespectfully. It is funny in that kind of "I have to laugh or I'll cry (or vomit)" kind of way. And that might be faintly cringe funny but it definitely isn't alluring.

AgentPidge · 23/06/2026 19:41

OhBotherSaidPoo · 23/06/2026 16:09

Well in that case he better wash his face

Excellent!

MandemChickenShop · 23/06/2026 19:39

cancel, but also let him know so he can improve his game going fwds

Calliopespa · 23/06/2026 19:37

Thepeopleversuswork · 23/06/2026 19:36

This, but also the way in his head a switch has flipped so he’s gone overnight from “best behaviour” to “grim, puerile and sleazy”.

And he thinks that because they have had sex that’s OK. It’s textbook misogyny. Treat them like gold until you have got into their knickers and then treat them like the dirty, subordinate creatures they are.

It will go downhill from here.

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Sadly, yes.

Thepeopleversuswork · 23/06/2026 19:36

Calliopespa · 23/06/2026 19:31

It's worse that that. He's implying he wants to have sex BUT might reject her if her the smell of her privates doesn't meet his approval.

It's like he's talking about a fillet of fish approaching use by in the fridge and wondering if it's still good to use.

It's just so objectifying.

Show quote history

This, but also the way in his head a switch has flipped so he’s gone overnight from “best behaviour” to “grim, puerile and sleazy”.

And he thinks that because they have had sex that’s OK. It’s textbook misogyny. Treat them like gold until you have got into their knickers and then treat them like the dirty, subordinate creatures they are.

It will go downhill from here.

Calliopespa · 23/06/2026 19:36

Overtheatlantic · 23/06/2026 17:18

Is “growler” slang for vagina?

We think so 😳

It is moving a lot of us into new territory but I cannot think what else he would be meaning that would improve its whiff after a shower. Certainly not her larynx.

GameOfJones · 23/06/2026 19:34

Good God, NEXT PLEASE.

I just cannot imagine DH ever saying something like that to me and we've been together 15 years and joke about all sorts!

The main issue is that he's immediately expecting sex and making a perfectly normal comment from you into a the sort of sexual joke a teenage boy would make. He could get in the bin for his presumption alone.

MyFamilyBenAndSusan · 23/06/2026 19:34

I found this hilarious 😂

Calliopespa · 23/06/2026 19:31

Jackiepumpkinhead · 23/06/2026 17:00

I think he’s hinting that he wants to have sex with you on this date. He’s gross. Why would a man think that’s what women want to hear.

It's worse that that. He's implying he wants to have sex BUT might reject her if her the smell of her privates doesn't meet his approval.

It's like he's talking about a fillet of fish approaching use by in the fridge and wondering if it's still good to use.

It's just so objectifying.

Calliopespa · 23/06/2026 19:26

bugalugs45 · 23/06/2026 18:34

I cancelled on someone for a comment that went along the lines of ,
’I wouldn’t need to take you to bed , I’d have you on the stairs’
Im no prude but I hadn’t slept with him and I felt it was massively overstepping and made me uncomfortable . Instant ick .

Only you know how you feel OP , but fact you posted this gives you your answer in my opinion.

Yes discussing your whiffy growler can fairly be described as "overstepping" I think op.

Planesmistakenforstars · 23/06/2026 19:25

shuggles · 23/06/2026 18:51

@Datingwoee It's a crass joke, but is it worth ditching someone over this?

There are loads of men who do things a lot worse than this, and yet, their partners don't break up with them.

Is this not a situation in which you can say you didn't like the joke because of X, and then move on?

Your suggestion really is that if other women are with men more shit than this, than this man shouldn't be dumped?! This is one of the strangest defenses of shit men I have seen here, and it's a crowded field.

Asuperblyfeauturedroomandexcellentboiledpotatoes · 23/06/2026 19:23

Ew.

Calliopespa · 23/06/2026 19:23

ExplodingSmittens · 23/06/2026 16:19

I wouldn’t even find that funny from DH and I’ve known him years.

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I know.

I was just trying to imagine DH saying that to me.🤔 I really can't begin to.

I'd say "With that comment you just cancelled our date."

Speakeasier · 23/06/2026 19:22

shuggles · 23/06/2026 18:51

@Datingwoee It's a crass joke, but is it worth ditching someone over this?

There are loads of men who do things a lot worse than this, and yet, their partners don't break up with them.

Is this not a situation in which you can say you didn't like the joke because of X, and then move on?

Because it says a lot about his character.

People not breaking up with men who do far worse is not a good guideline to judge by. Often they’d love to but are stuck together financially or with children. Many of them would love to go back and not ignore the red flags.

Namingbaba · 23/06/2026 19:22

Definitely off putting. I guess it would depend how much I liked him if I gave him another chance.

SatsumaDog · 23/06/2026 19:20

A gross and ill timed joke. Not something you say to someone you’ve dated a handful of times.

NotAnotherScarf · 23/06/2026 19:20

Wow, if you were in a long term relationship and shared that sense of humour perhaps...5th date that's grim.

You've dodged a bullet there

EdithBond · 23/06/2026 19:18

Seriestwo · 23/06/2026 16:42

Reply with a link to this thread. We’ll all wave.
stupid man.

I’d love to be a fly on the wall for that! It’s a thought, OP.

Let him hear it from The Hive (apologies for mixed metaphors).

Thepeopleversuswork · 23/06/2026 19:17

Ooohletsgo · 23/06/2026 17:23

It’s not really funny but it’s not offensive either.

I think you’re being a bit dramatic.

I love how for some people the bar is “its not offensive”. (I’d beg to differ but lets put this to one side). So you think lame, pathetic and misogynistic humour is acceptable?

No wonder they get away with the shit they do.