To cancel date over his ‘joke’?

I have the ick on your behalf OP. And he'd never be getting a whiff of my growler.

Depends

i like cheeky and inappropriate humour
only you can tell if he is a gross sexist pig or just a bit naughty

how foes he talk about women and how does he treat you

If it means what I think it does, I’d not continue the relationship. It’s a no from me, he sounds vulgar.

Seriously?

Immediate Ick for me and I would 100% cancel, there certainly wouldn’t be another date

That'd put me off him for life, run for the hills!

Very charming. Yeah, I couldn't date someone like that.

If there are no other red flags, I wouldn't cancel it! I think it's funny! But I do like crude humour

I’m not sure, if you think a man you’ve had four dates with calling your genitalia your growler is funny I’d think that’s fair low standards.

No it doesn't, it means those of us who find it funny have a different sense of humour.

I think you took a wrong turning, Mumsnet doesn't sell Viz magazine subscriptions.

You think? I'd say it betrays an utter inability to gauge what is and isn't appropriate to say, under any circumstances. IMO it also says rather a lot about his attitude to women. I've got a crude sense of humour myself, but there are limits.

I have to say, if not wanting a man to joke about whether I may or may not have a 'whiffy growler' means someone has 'eccentric and unusual criteria for judging character', then put me down for team eccentric every time. If you are a woman, would you really not have the ick if a man said this to you? (And if you are a man, I can't help wondering if you've said similar things yourself... 🤔)

I’d get the cancel brigade if he’d said can’t be having a stinking vagina but whiffy and growler are both words that are mildly amusing. Probably a bit early for such humour though if he’s yet to have a sniff in the bedroom.

Total ick. Though I did once cause much amusement, in a rural Wisconsin drinking establishment, by pointing out that in British English the poster advising "Grab a growler!" was advocating sexual assault, not suggesting buying a small keg of beer to take away.

Who is rearing these vile low class oiks?
Absolutely cancel.
Mask well and truly dropped🤢

It’s up to the individual to decide what an issue is. That someone else may choose to tolerate worse doesn’t oblige anyone else to drop their own standards.

“If we cut every person out our lives who said something to us that we didn't like, then we would talk to no one and we would all be unemployed”

A comment you dislike it not the same thing as a comment that is unacceptable to the point of no return. A romantic relationship is also not analogous to the relationship someone has with their employer, but if you want to draw the comparison then an employer making that comment and being ‘dumped’ for it would constitute them getting off lightly.

It’s preferable to not be in a romantic relationship, than to be in a romantic relationship with someone that doesn’t meet the basic standards of civility.

ick

This. ^ I couldn't stay with a man who thinks it's OK to say something so grim.

Awful.

@Datingwoee

Back in the sea he goes...

After learning that men are not disgusted by wee, poo and other things on women's or men's bits ...I have developped a totally different view of men. They are enjoying dirtiness....imagine we women don't look down at bottoms or vaginas

Id have laughed tbh

@Speakeasier Because it says a lot about his character.

Seriously?

Character judgements come from people's ethical standards, how they treat other people, whether they show compassion, and how they are able to delicately resolve conflict without aggravating the other person. Those are the metrics to judge men's characters.

A crude joke, which could very well be isolated, and may never be repeated if the OP simply calls it out, is absolutely not a meaningful reflection of anyone's character. You seem to have some very eccentric and unusual criteria for judging character.

Id find his sense of humour attractive tbh

@Planesmistakenforstars Your suggestion really is that if other women are with men more shit than this, than this man shouldn't be dumped?! This is one of the strangest defenses of shit men I have seen here, and it's a crowded field.

It's an important point because it shows an extreme misunderstanding of what's an issue and what isn't.

If we cut every person out our lives who said something to us that we didn't like, then we would talk to no one and we would all be unemployed.

I laughed out loud when I read that. However it would really give me the ick.

It's something my partner would say to me, but we've been together over a decade. Surely in the early stages you're a bit careful about what you say. If you have exact matching senses of humour, that's wonderful, but op clearly doesn't as she's talking about cancelling dates.