To cancel date over his ‘joke’?

It’s objectification. He sees you as an object. A vessel more specifically. Front of his impulsive mind - you exist only as a cznt. He has poor emotional control and zero filter. If you decide to tolerate this he will humiliate you in public down the line.

Trust your gut.

Ewwww.... I mean, if you have a best friend who said that about your date night routine, it might a funny aside, but no that is 'ick' from a date.

If you have slept with him then it suggests a level of intimacy that clearly isn't there (as if it was he'd know you don't find that kind of talk funny).

Serious ick, but the questions really are do you still like him, can you tell him you didn't like that and would you kick yourself in a few months if you ghosted him for a text that landed badly?

Eww that's such a gross phrase. It would really turn me off him.. also it's pretty misogynistic tbh to talk about you in that way. Something about the term sounds really disrespectful and gross.

Get rid!

Even if that's the case, it doesn't mean that OP has to be in a relationship with someone who thinks jokes like that are appropriate.

Men out there exist who don't make jokes like that.

@shuggles, actually re-reading your list, most of the men I know do drink alcohol, but very few to excess or in a way that causes any sort of problem to those around them (exactly the same for the women I know)

Why is smoking, drinking alcohol and leaving the house each day bad?

How are those worse than being crude and disrespectful to somebody you are in the early days of dating?

When did you meet the vast majority of men

You know some terrible men @shuggles 😔 I know very few men who behave like that, luckily. I know there are lots of terrible men about, (I give them a wide berth, personally) but I think it’s bonkers to suggest the majority of men are doing the things on your list.

Im pretty open minded and like a dirty joke as much as the next person but this is disgusting! When I read it I just said out loud "oh NO!". Not something you expect from a potential boyfriend.

What % of men smoke? Drink alcohol? Disappear from the home for hours or days at a time? Don't do housework? Don't help with children? Leave during their partner's pregnancy? Fill their heads full of the nonsense on TV? Gamble away all of their money? Have poor personal hygiene? Lose their temper and scream? Are physically violent?

I would say that covers the vast majority, and all are far worse offences than a vulgar joke.

“The vast majority”? Don’t be ridiculous.

@GiddyRobin Because they’re in relationships with women that are willing to accept it. The women that aren’t willing to are not in relationships with those men.

I would say that the vast majority of men do things a lot worse than that joke.

Honestly, they really need to bring back the laughing emoji 🤣

That would be an immediate no from me. It’s gross and seriously misjudged.

Presuming access?

My God thats fucking revolting - you cant actually be serious? so, because someone has had sex once with someone that means they can never decline it ever again or remove consent and consent must be assumed forever afterwards?

Bloody hell, this is so disturbing and wrong

Yeurgh! A prior engagement might be an idea 😉 Just don't! (and tell him why 👍). The right fella is out there x

But did the OP go on the date???? We need to know!!!!

@PrettyLittleRose
Imagine shagging someone after 2-3 dates, and then finding out he's a gross pig with the emotional maturity of Jay from The Inbetweeners?!

Relationships shift after you have sex. You might find out you are sexually incompatible, or maybe his true self will stay hidden while he holds out or a shag. I’d rather not waste 20 dates before getting that information.

My husband and I slept together the night we met. We have been happily married for 15 years. As far as I know he doesn’t consider me to be some sort of whore but I will double check with him when he gets home from work.

(Patiently, awaits the posters rushing to claim the last time they shagged a man on the first night, they ended up marrying him and have now been married 20 years.) 🙄

Well now you mention, married for 30yrs.

We both wanted to have sex.

If he had thought badly of me & there were no more dates that wouldn't be a loss for either of us.

I think the thread shows that the world is divided into two types of women, women who think men refering to their genitalia as growlers is funny and women who prefer more respect and don’t wish a partner who is so easily coarse about their body.

i wonder which group has more successful long term relationships. I suspect it’s the latter. Far too many women end up in relationships with men who don’t respect them, and this comment isn’t exactly a sign of respect is it.

Oh! You’re so fancy. 😍 I’m away in France at the moment- just had a lovely nap. I’m hoping DS is cleaning our pool properly in our absence. Hope you had a nice dip!

Sorry to have bored you but gotta admire your ongoing efforts to avoid engaging with your fuck-up 😂 Lol @ the cheerio and the bisous! Cheerio always remind me of my lovely Dad so thank you for that 💐

It is concerning and indicates that your benchmark for men is… below the gutter, that you even have to ask @Datingwoee

Hope you've saved an eye roll for me, then, because I had sex with DH on the first night (albeit we'd been getting to know each other online for a month beforehand) and we've been married 23 years!

Obviously you're entitled to your views as are all of us, but personally I think the right time for two people to have sex, provided there's mutual respect (and I do realise this bloke's remark reveals there probably wasn't) is whenever it feels natural to do so. If a man thinks less of a woman for having sex early on, she's dodged a bullet in my view, such men often turn out to have a madonna/whore complex ime.