To cancel date over his ‘joke’?

I Just read this to my DH and he burst out laughing. For goodness sake if this man is actually a misogynist and it’s taken you 5 dates to work that out then something is amiss. It’s a joke, crude and a bit silly but surely the context of all your other dates matters otherwise why have you been on five dates with him? I think the comments writing this guy off are ridiculous

“Male energy is enormously valuable”? And they “mustn’t be bullied by their women folk”? FFS! 1950 called and they’d like you back, immediately. I mean, your attitude was shit back then too, but it really doesn’t belong in 2026.

Nah, this is shit. That first one was fucking brilliant. Male energy and all that. Do that, that was funny.

Don’t know any men like this. My husband is the opposite. Sorry your world is like this though. Genuinely.

Not directed at anyone, nor intended to cause offense or be provocative. Just offering, respectfully I hope, a different perspective. No right or wrong in these matters of personal values. This post was added after a comment about the number of dates, and has maybe got jumbled.

Is that directed at me? I'm single AF and can barely tolerate the majority of human beings, so it's not relevant to me at all!

That's sounds like 'no'. So it's not a deal breaker?

The OP is five dates in, so that's not comparable

Lady says she's used to male banter, and doesn't find it offensive. She says her husband wouldn't make a crack like the one that's caused some offense. Fair enough. Would she divorce him if he did??

Yep. It's the only language they all understand. They're like fucking puppies. Except they aren't fucking cute. ICK PAH!

Man makes disgusting comment. Gets called out for it. Tries to blame woman for being touchy and getting 'offended for the sake of being offended'..

No thoughts on self-reflection. About possibly trying to meet her half way. Understand how she might have found that a bit much.

No it's just us that have to adapt around your sicko thoughts that you feel entitled to voice and basically degrade us in the process.

Fuck. Off.

Brilliant 👏👏👏

Superb response.

If she wasn't repulsed, she would not have considered cancelling the date, would she.

It's honestly hilarious how offended men get by other men being rejected for making disgusting comments. The minimising of her feelings, the elevation of her reaction. Finishing with the classic invalidating her feelings - le pièce de résistance. Not to mention crying about getting attacked for having a different opinion, then attacking others for theirs. How long have been an abuser? You seem really experienced!

You’re the one using a forum to whine about hating using the forum. ‘So don’t use it then’ is advice, not a diktat.

I don’t intend for you, and men of the ilk you’re white-knighting for, to find my standards ego and again just standards stuck up attitude attractive. It is very much to my benefit that you don’t, actually.

OP, this is grim on so many levels. He doesn't know you well enough to use such terminology and it falls short of making you sound valued and desired, and there is something about it that I can't quite quantify that is disrespectful to women generally.

I have lots of male friends and am exposed to some male conversations that I can't unhear, usually very funny, but none of them would ever say this to a date. I'm not sure my fairly cheeky DH would say that after many years together and we don't stand on ceremony.

I am torn between you telling him that you no longer find him attractive after his last message and you telling him that you are sorry but your growler will be washing its hair for the foreseeable and you will won't be able to see him again.

Either way, this comment sounds like the tip of a rather grim iceberg to me.

Oh my God, thank you. It's been a stressful couple of days and I needed a laugh like that. I can't breathe...

Then dump him for being 14, presumably. Tbf I consider cunt to be far superior to growler in every way.

You’re making quite the leap there. I can assure you that you don’t have to reside in a convent to find ‘whiffy growler’ to be an instant ‘next!’. Believe it or not it isn’t normal language and/or banter for everyone.

If you’re happy to split from this otherwise good man over this, dare I say it’s no wonder you’re single. It’s a throwaway joke. You should take it as such

My anti-man message hahaha. Aw little darling, it's okay, if that is how easy it is to harm your ego then I can only assume that you are also an immature man. Bless your heart.

If you must know, I chose this name when making my account as I had just escaped 10 years of abuse from my exH, and his favourite insult to me was that I am "the world's ugliest/fattest/worst/etc" mum. So I thought fuck it, I'm the world's hottest mum. I'm reclaiming it.

I have to say, you didn't actually disagree with what I was saying, just attacked me instead. Giving yourself away there.

Suppress gross disgusting vile comments? No I don't think that ever needs to be let out actually. That's not the male energy we're after.

We're hope to partner with MEN, not boys.

Imagine if you'd said to a man that said he needed to freshen up after work "well you can't have a dick full of cheese"

I mean, as if any woman would ever say this??

What is it about some men that think this sort of stuff is acceptable. Ever?

It's just gross. So gross. Yes I'd dump him. I'd say sorry but that's given me the ick. There's no woman in her right mind that would think that's OK to say on a fifth date right after sleeping with you.

It's just not the time to be so crude and familiar. He's shown you who he truly is. Believe him.

Jesus, is this how men actually think? Oh wait, of course it is.

He makes a vile, disrespectful (for so many reasons) comment, and women taking issue with that is him being bullied? I can't actually tell if your comment is sarcastic or not, it is so tone deaf.

Male energy is not valuable if it is rooted in disrespect, nobody's is. If suppressing disrespectful and misogynistic energy is a 'huge mistake' then I'm about to (gladly) live a lifetime of them.

But you go off about how valuable (disrespectful) male energy is. Bro code n dat

Read your anti-man message ending with a side of “significant immaturity” yet noted that you call yourself ‘WorldsHottestMom’. Hmmmm??

Message read and understood. I was not aware that I was dealing with the Queen of Mumsnet, ruling every thought that anyone could have. I’ll let you get back to living your life as Hyacinth Bucket. “Rough People” was how you described people. You’re a touch of class! Here’s some hard advice to you : You’re no better than anyone else on here or in life generally and your ego and stuck up attitude is not attractive. Just saying!!

Hmm! If a girl dumped me over that, I'd just think she wasn't worth having. It was a bit crass, but she did say she needed to 'freshen up'. Men should not be Andrew Tate's, but also mustn't be bullied by their women folk. Male energy is enormously valuable. It's a huge mistake to try to suppress it.