AIBU to think prolonged young adult lifestyles now extend into people’s forties and to wonder what the outcome of that will be?

Realistically OP there’s always been people living like this, since the 60s at least. If people are paying their own way, I don’t see the problem.

Yes, I think things have changed and it's not a badthing. Most of the people my age (I'm 48) I know who are still big clubbers also have stable, good jobs. I think there's just not this idea that you have to give it all up when you turn 40 or whatever, especially as fewer people have kids, and those who do may be in their late 30s or older by the time they start a family so partying isn't a silly thing they did as is, it's a genuine part of their lifestyle

We're certainly going out more now our kids are in mid to late teens. Because a lot of our generation do. We also go to theatre, opera and do other 'grown up' things, but I did when I was younger as well. I don't think liking parties or sexual hookups when you're older necessarily indicates immaturity or irresponsibility at all.

Idk. I’d say only about a quarter or less of my friends in their 30s haven’t settled down even the single ones have chilled and don’t want to drink as much or party all night.

I completely see what you mean OP, although imo it's more men I see living like this than women. It's not that everyone has to have a suburban family life, it's that being an adult is about having responsibilities. That can mean children. It can also mean a job, volunteering, giving to your community, caring for family. You are not fully grown up until you are giving something back.

I have to say I think it's primarily that we have an individualistic culture that despises the idea of duty. We don't raise our children and young people to see themselves as responsible even for themselves, let alone those around them. In that environment, it is inevitable that selfishness will flourish.

The outcome will be a lowered birth rate and higher benefits, surely?

9/10 the childless women I know in their late 30s and 40s aren’t childless by choice. Maybe half the childless men are.

It's funny that the comments all slam OP but the poll tells another story. This is pretty common on MN and basically means that OP has hit upon a controversial but common idea.

I voted YANBU as there are clear advantages to getting elements of your life sorted before you're 40. Financially it pays huge dividends to sort out mortgages and pensions early. Biologically it's much easier to have kids in your 20s and 30s than in your 40s. Romance wise, the dating market gets a lot more complex after a while as single parents and people with a lot of baggage become more prevalent. Health wise, your body simply can't tolerate the same lifestyle in your 40s as it did in your 20s. Even things like quitting smoking are much more likely to protect against lung cancer the earlier you are to do it.

Wage stagnation and house price rises.

If you're not earning enough to live on your own, you'll be in a flat share... Or still living with your parents.

If you're not earning enough, you probably won't choose to have a baby (especially if you'd have to live in a house share).

What little money you do have, you want to spend on something fun. A night out? Getting drunk?
You can't ever see savings £20k+ for a house deposit, so you go on holiday.

It's not surprising really

YABU. Why is it of any concern to you how others chose to live. Not everyone wants 2.3 kids and a semi

where are you that this is happening to most people? I’m in the south east and I don’t see this at all in my area. I’m late 30s and everyone I know is settled down, either married or long term relationship, kids (or happily child free) and have bought houses. I don’t know anyone like you describe. I’m sure there are some but it’s not the norm here after around age 30.

I’m reading a little between the lines here, but what it sounds like is you are judging single, childless women approaching their 40s but thinly veiling it.

What I will say is, a majority of women still at the dating stage at that point are not there by choice and are probably well aware of their inability to provide society with the box ticking they expect.

I literally know noone who has urinated on someone else.

Where do you see this? IMO it’s pretty unusual for a 40 year old to behave like this

Not having kids or not being married isn’t a sign of young adulthood, it’s a sign of people having more choices now.

Generations before were forced to ascribe to a very set way of living life - one job for life, marriage, children. I certainly look at my parents and think they were old before their time.

Now we have more choices and freedom to live our lives however we want, and isn’t that a beautiful thing? Why should partying be for the young? Why not be in a flat share if that’s what you want?

Being ‘grown-up’ doesn’t mean having to be conventional. I’d how we’re in an era of a lot less judgement.

And yes, urinating you on someone is gross, and I suspect that person is gross at any age. That’s not a societal issue.

What kind of lifestyle do you think people are obliged to progress to?

What is it you think people should be doing ?

All living in a 2 bed semi raising kids and working in a bank ?