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Headteacher criticised my daughter's water bottle

337 replies

Suchevilforebodings · 23/06/2026 11:29

Slightly annoyed at my DD's headteacher. She is 8 and in Y3

I packed her bag yesterday morning and noticed as I filled up her water bottle that it was leaking from the lid. Grabbed another only to see it was split down the side. Annoying but one of those things.
When dropping her off at school, we popped into the local shop next door and grabbed her a large plastic bottle of water with a spout lid.

She came home from school yesterday and said that her headteacher, when visiting the classroom, had picked up her bottle from in front of her and told the whole class that this kind of bottle was "very bad" as it "ends up in the ocean and kills sea turtles" and a "proper" water bottle is much better to bring into school.

She's a very sensitive child was really quite upset and being told she's killing turtles, which she loves, and also at what she perceived as being "in trouble" as she loves school, is a good pupil, and hasn't ever been told off.

I get that the head isn't actually wrong, and I wouldn't normally buy bottled water but it was a "needs must" situation.

Was this an appropriate way to bring it up?

OP posts:
JustAnotherWhinger · 25/06/2026 18:56

bafta16 · 25/06/2026 18:30

Do you think their peers are kind in the playground? That life is a bed of roses in a Secondary school?

And the fact children can be cruel to each other somehow makes it ok when a HT does it?

school staff are meant to lead by example in a good way. That was certainly always the ethos in the 20+ years I worked in schools anyway.

bafta16 · 25/06/2026 18:30

JustAnotherWhinger · 25/06/2026 17:22

I fear for the future of children subjected to such a poor example of a HT.

Most HTs understand children, their brains and the damage of humiliation in front of peers. Thankfully.

Do you think their peers are kind in the playground? That life is a bed of roses in a Secondary school?

JustAnotherWhinger · 25/06/2026 17:22

bafta16 · 25/06/2026 15:41

I fear for the future is somebody is traumatised by a 10 second clumsy comment about a bottle. Move on.

I fear for the future of children subjected to such a poor example of a HT.

Most HTs understand children, their brains and the damage of humiliation in front of peers. Thankfully.

Suchevilforebodings · 25/06/2026 17:21

bafta16 · 25/06/2026 15:41

I fear for the future is somebody is traumatised by a 10 second clumsy comment about a bottle. Move on.

Sorry, can't. Far too traumatised. I will not rest until the headteacher is sacked.

OP posts:
Suchevilforebodings · 25/06/2026 17:20

NeverDropYourMooncup · 25/06/2026 16:14

I think that single use plastic is pretty fucking essential in the NHS. Unless you'd rather have people boiling up their own syringes and needles to inject their medication and have to take it on trust that the tiny tube your blood test needle has been adequately cleaned after being used on somebody with hepatitis?

Edited

Yes, it's essential, but its bad that it's essential, if that makes sense

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMooncup · 25/06/2026 16:14

Suchevilforebodings · 25/06/2026 14:13

Yes. All single use plastic is bad, including that used by the NHS. I do not dispute this.
My post was never intended to debate whether or not single use plastic is bad for the planet. Of course it is.
It's about the headteacher's way of going about things.

I think that single use plastic is pretty fucking essential in the NHS. Unless you'd rather have people boiling up their own syringes and needles to inject their medication and have to take it on trust that the tiny tube your blood test needle has been adequately cleaned after being used on somebody with hepatitis?

bafta16 · 25/06/2026 15:41

I fear for the future is somebody is traumatised by a 10 second clumsy comment about a bottle. Move on.

Wildefish · 25/06/2026 15:30

nomas · 25/06/2026 12:10

What a weird take. I don't object to water bottles, I bought one myself yesterday.

SUP bottles are throwaway items, nobody in that class room would have thought that OP's dd had any attachment to it.

It’s not the attachment to the water bottle it’s the fact the HT lifted HER bottle up and made her feel as if SHE had done something wrong.

lilkitten · 25/06/2026 15:01

No I don't think he should have said that. At least she had water. One of my DC takes a plastic bottle, she's autistic and only will drink from the plastic ones, it's better than not having any at all.
Do teachers not realise the impact their words have? I still remember the embarrassments in front of class from my teachers in the 80s/90s, I thought they would have moved on by now.

Suchevilforebodings · 25/06/2026 14:19

BTW, for what it's worth, I don't intend to buy my DD a new bottle until it is necessary. We are reusing this one now, probably at least until the end of term.

OP posts:
Suchevilforebodings · 25/06/2026 14:13

topcat2014 · 25/06/2026 14:00

Our sainted NHS uses millions of single use plastic items every day. Are they killing turtles too?

Yes. All single use plastic is bad, including that used by the NHS. I do not dispute this.
My post was never intended to debate whether or not single use plastic is bad for the planet. Of course it is.
It's about the headteacher's way of going about things.

OP posts:
NoisyMonster678 · 25/06/2026 14:04

Explain to the HT in the circumstances you had no option but to send your DD to school with this new water bottle because you had no alternative.

It was extremly innapropriate for the HT to patronise your DD in these circumstances, and their actions could lead to her experiencing bullying at the hands of other weaker minded pupils, and if this does happen in the future you should expect the HT to deal with it and promptly.

topcat2014 · 25/06/2026 14:00

Our sainted NHS uses millions of single use plastic items every day. Are they killing turtles too?

attishoo · 25/06/2026 13:18

nomas · 25/06/2026 12:37

told everyone that Mary/Jack had a bottle that killed turtles. To children that age that makes Mary/Jack the turtle killer.

Er, no, he didn't. He said 'this kind of bottle was "very bad" as it "ends up in the ocean and kills sea turtles" and a "proper" water bottle is much better to bring into school.'

He made no reference to OP's dd.

Her class mates knew who owned the bottle - they knew it belonged to her, they knew the HT called it out for being very bad and would kill turtles - I don't understand why you can't see that - but I accept that you can't for some reason. People like this HT should not be working with children - they need simple shit spelled out to them when it should be bloody obvious to anyone with an ounce of empathy.

JustAnotherWhinger · 25/06/2026 13:00

nomas · 25/06/2026 12:37

told everyone that Mary/Jack had a bottle that killed turtles. To children that age that makes Mary/Jack the turtle killer.

Er, no, he didn't. He said 'this kind of bottle was "very bad" as it "ends up in the ocean and kills sea turtles" and a "proper" water bottle is much better to bring into school.'

He made no reference to OP's dd.

He did.

but you know that and you’re being obtuse for the sake of it.

FuckingAnnoyed · 25/06/2026 12:58

nomas · 25/06/2026 12:37

told everyone that Mary/Jack had a bottle that killed turtles. To children that age that makes Mary/Jack the turtle killer.

Er, no, he didn't. He said 'this kind of bottle was "very bad" as it "ends up in the ocean and kills sea turtles" and a "proper" water bottle is much better to bring into school.'

He made no reference to OP's dd.

You're being deliberately obtuse.

He made no reference to OP's dd.

Except for the fact it was her bottle that she was drinking from.

nomas · 25/06/2026 12:37

JustAnotherWhinger · 25/06/2026 12:34

In a room full of children that age he did though. He picked up Mary/Jack’s bottle and told everyone that Mary/Jack had a bottle that killed turtles. To children that age that makes Mary/Jack the turtle killer.

It was an appalling choice from someone who should know children far far better than that

told everyone that Mary/Jack had a bottle that killed turtles. To children that age that makes Mary/Jack the turtle killer.

Er, no, he didn't. He said 'this kind of bottle was "very bad" as it "ends up in the ocean and kills sea turtles" and a "proper" water bottle is much better to bring into school.'

He made no reference to OP's dd.

JustAnotherWhinger · 25/06/2026 12:34

nomas · 25/06/2026 12:16

He didn't criticise the child though.

If he had said 'Here is a naughtly child using a plastic bottle' that would be criticising the child.

In a room full of children that age he did though. He picked up Mary/Jack’s bottle and told everyone that Mary/Jack had a bottle that killed turtles. To children that age that makes Mary/Jack the turtle killer.

It was an appalling choice from someone who should know children far far better than that

nomas · 25/06/2026 12:16

DugnuttEyeBoogies · 25/06/2026 12:15

Exactly. It’s not her choice on the water bottles so I would be annoyed if my child was criticised in this way, especially for a one off emergency bottle in a heatwave.

He didn't criticise the child though.

If he had said 'Here is a naughtly child using a plastic bottle' that would be criticising the child.

DugnuttEyeBoogies · 25/06/2026 12:15

JustAnotherWhinger · 23/06/2026 11:51

The HT shouldn’t be criticising 8 year olds (or any primary age children) over things like water bottles as they’re not in charge of family finances or shopping.

There’s a big difference between education and humiliation.

Exactly. It’s not her choice on the water bottles so I would be annoyed if my child was criticised in this way, especially for a one off emergency bottle in a heatwave.

Suchevilforebodings · 25/06/2026 12:13

nomas · 25/06/2026 12:10

What a weird take. I don't object to water bottles, I bought one myself yesterday.

SUP bottles are throwaway items, nobody in that class room would have thought that OP's dd had any attachment to it.

The headteacher picked it up from DD's desk, right in front of her. Everyone knew it was hers.

OP posts:
nomas · 25/06/2026 12:12

TheLovelinessOfDemons · 25/06/2026 11:21

Exactly. I often fill my water bottle and leave it on the worktop. Also, before I bought a reusable bottle, I just reused a disposable one, so how do schools know that children aren't doing that?

I think the point is SUP bottles have a limited shelf life. Kids shouldn't reuse them as they leach microplastics into the water.

nomas · 25/06/2026 12:10

icybreezefromanairconditioner · 25/06/2026 12:02

Is it fair game for the head to also humiliate specific children whose parents drive huge gas guzzling SUVs/ jet away on holiday all the time /indulge in excess consumption generally/ leave their engines idling over outside the school gate ...

Or is it just water bottles you object to? It seems a bit performative to me. Those conversations around the environment are important but children should not be singled out and shamed for the behaviour of their parents, the discussion should be in general terms

What a weird take. I don't object to water bottles, I bought one myself yesterday.

SUP bottles are throwaway items, nobody in that class room would have thought that OP's dd had any attachment to it.

icybreezefromanairconditioner · 25/06/2026 12:02

nomas · 25/06/2026 10:38

A bottle of water that can be bought for 50p is not an important ‘possession’ he didn’t criticise her favourite stuffed toy, he demonstrated a single use plastic that would be thrown away in a few hours.

Is it fair game for the head to also humiliate specific children whose parents drive huge gas guzzling SUVs/ jet away on holiday all the time /indulge in excess consumption generally/ leave their engines idling over outside the school gate ...

Or is it just water bottles you object to? It seems a bit performative to me. Those conversations around the environment are important but children should not be singled out and shamed for the behaviour of their parents, the discussion should be in general terms

Wildefish · 25/06/2026 11:53

Mistymaglets · 23/06/2026 11:35

The message was absolutely correct and I doubt that the headteacher personalised it at your daughter and actually accused her personally of killing turtles.

However I do understand how she could take it that way if she is sensitive, but the best thing that you do is agree with the message and congratulate your daughter on the fact they you actually don't normally use these bottles and forget about it.

As a teacher she should not have done this with the child’s water bottle. Even though she may not have meant it personally to the child she should have know how a child would feel being pointed out. Perhaps later she could have sent home a message reminding parents not to use plastic bottles were possible. Life happens!