AIBU to worry my adult son's table manners affect others' views?

His GF might be grateful if you pull him up on this Op, she knows if she says something it will cause a row. I'd ask him where his previously decent table manners have gone

Yep, I would judge someone who has bad table manners. I would wonder what their upbringing is like.

I have a close friend who eats like your son. He had a very chaotic upbringing and it is understandable that his table manners are bad because he was never taught them. When my friend is eating, I try not to look at him and focus on anything else because it is off-putting!

You are still his parent so I would mention it. He probably doesn't care about it though and won't change.

Yes, have a chat with him.
My DH ate with his mouth open at times. I’d no problem pulling him up until he mastered chewing with a closed mouth.

• id love to send DH back to his incredibly snooty mum for training on this !

We don't force our DC to sit at a laid table for every meal at all , but ive made sure they can sit at a table and consider others when eating ,never take the last item always offer to others , time your eating to others and so on.

You should time the eating of your meal to others pace neither too long nor too short.
DH does this when he eats he doesn't consider his company at all and it's too late to change him.

I will be really honest, from a very young age we gave our children napkins with every meal. The table was laid as you would find in a restaurant and Ds1 had a habit of bringing his head down to his fork rather than the fork to his mouth. We talked to him about this before the next meal and so he made a concerted effort to not do it and we did have to remind him. We did use a future job scenario that you could be at a dinner with potential clients and you need to look like you can eat in polite society.

My Mum went to a grammar school and they had both elocution lessons and decorum lessons, how to sit, get into and out of a car etc. These lessons were also passed on to us, especially to iron out the local dialect.

You need to talk to him about it, maybe show him some videos on how to eat, there are plenty I am sure on Youtube. Explain that you are doing it out of love for him.

My friend does that, gets his meal and eats it in moments
It's mad! He's finished, often before some people have had a bite or two.

Then he complains about his digestion issues 😂

I had a lodger who was like a pig when eating and honestly I stopped sitting in the kitchen because watching him or hearing him make these grunting noises which shovelling food into his mouth was utterly revolting. You will have to say something as clearly he does not notice it in himself. Definitely have a conversation about it as it colours a persons view of an individual. As they say manners cost nothing.

Being honest, yes- I think this is a risk.

I went out with a lovely lad in my late teens. Really liked him but his table manners were embarrassingly awful. He would wolf down his food, barely chewing. Once, at a restaurant, he had finished his main course by the time the waitress returned from the kitchen (promptly!) with our sides- it was that bad. Plus he’d then help himself to my food which was really rude and annoying.

Ultimately, I didn’t enjoy eating with him or being in the company of others with him when eating was involved, and it was one of the main reasons I ended the relationship.

I think it would be fair to gently raise it with your son. People do notice poor manners like this and it’s not pleasant to see.