AIBU to object after my ex criticised my ring and writing?

Really?
"Don't look now but it looks like your ex wife is engaged!
"wtf! Why do you say that?
"she's wearing an engagement ring on her wedding finger
(looks)
"oh no... that's the ring I gave her
"wtf?!! Why would she still be wearing it on her wedding finger? Does she want you back? Are you not telling me something? What's her problem?"
etc etc etc... if the new partner has issues with the ex it would explain him coming round and making a scene. Not saying it's ok though

The bottom line for me is that he's an ex, so you don't have to care what he thinks or listen to his opinions. Maybe it's a bit unusual to wear an engagement ring after the relationship has ended, but there's nothing wrong with it, if that's what you want to do. Unless you're writing or doing something that could legitimately embarrass your children (not just in that 'all parents are embarrassing' phase way), it's none of his business.

YANBU to ignore him completely and carry on doing exactly as you please.

Tell your kid not to let his dad into your house.

I think it's really shady he doesn't want you wearing your ring and offered to "store" it for you. He might try to look for your ring in your home. He doesn't have keys does he? If he possibly does, change your locks.

It did make me wonder if the ring is a “family” ring and he was trying to get it back.
He needs to get used to the idea that your place is no longer his place and he shouldn’t just turn up when he likes.
I can’t tell if he is particularly entitled or you are too passive but I couldn’t imagine a situation where my ex husband would have turned up at my house and acted like that and wasn’t challenged shall we say - he did try it but soon got the idea - set some boundaries for yourself and him - his right to have a say in what you do has ended
wrt the writing- you can write what you like - I won’t say as long as it’s true because everyone’s truth is different- but I would consider the impact it might have on your children
When my mother in law dies I will definitely be at her funeral, for my benefit, even though I have been divorced for more than two decades and have remarried - she has been a part of my life for a very long time and I will miss her
As time passes you’ll find your own way of navigating things - once the financial stuff is over and done with you can make your own choices

"We are three months away from our financial agreement ending completely."

This bit really stood out for me - he's losing his hold over you, losing his last bit of control and he doesn't like it so he's pushing harder whilst he still can. The end is in sight and that's not OK by him, it sounds like he's is going to go kicking and screaming.

His partner is jealous of the ring. She is also upset about constantly being compared to you (the mother of his kids) and coming up short.
None of these are your problem. He is a weird little man.

He sounds very insecure. It's his problem, not yours. Just carry on being you but maybe not write things that others read which concern him.

Personally, I would not tolerate any man (or woman for that matter) telling me what jewellery I may or may not wear, or how I may or may not wear it. It is genuinely surprising how many MN-ers think that the OP should obey him and either remove the engangement ring or move it to another finger.

Oh and importantly, ‘did you know tis not compulsory to read my medium articles? Tell all your friends. Unless you’re paying them to keep tabs on me in which case I guess it’s their job but it’s also stalking and harassment, with you turning up in my house to have a go at me about my life. Get out before I decide to get dreadlocks and start doing the weekly shop in my underwear so you actually have something to talk about. I’ll still be wearing my ring if I do that. Don’t come back.

He sounds very overbearing. You were married for a long time, you are part of the community, he can't make you disappear.

The things you have described might be a bit unusual or insensitive in some contexts, but if you felt they were okay given all of the circumstances then you don't have to listen to him. The fact that he came into your house to tell you off suggests he is the one being a prick. Tell your children not to let him in again.

Even if your ex dh was the only parent who got your kids neatly dressed for it and your dad loved him and he loved your dad? You’d be a jerk if you objected.

What a knob. i am team wear your wedding dress 😁
other things you can practice saying… that’s funny my friend thought it didn’t look like an engagement ring at all. (Even if it really obviously does)

I know what you’re worried about and don’t worry, I won’t sit in the middle at your funeral, I won’t be there at all.
is everything all right at home? Nothing going on that will affect the kids? Hmm.

This. It's also odd that some posters find it odd that you wear your engagement ring. It's a piece of jewellry and it's your to do with as you wish. Wear it on whatever finger you like, or through your nose, or up a flag pole in the garden or sell it, or fling it into the sea, entirely up to you OP. Absolutely nobody's business but yours.

The funeral was 2 years ago? He needs to let it go.

As for the writing, as long as you are not defaming anyone, again, it's your business not his. He can love it or hate it or ignore it. Or god forbid he could grow up.

Don't allow him in the house again. From now on respond to his nonsense with an excellent phrase from another current thread: "There We Are Then".

Why are you writing argumentative posts, is it just to be annoying?

I doubt it. How would the new partner even know it was a ring from ex?

It won't be his friends or family commenting things to him about you. It will all be coming from him, he just wants you to think it's other people so you feel like people are talking about you. You shouldn't of deleted the funeral piece It sounds like it was lovely ( but I can understand why you did )

Tell your DC not to let him in your house again without your permission. He won't be as comfortable trying to give you a dressing down if he's made to stand on the door step

I would maybe wear the ring on another finger... sounds like his partner noticed it and was the one commenting.... I wouldn't be giving it to him "to look after"... you'll never get it back. Personally I'd move away.

You don't need permission to object. Wear whatever jewelry you like, or sell it - and you can tell him you wear it as a warning to yourself about past mistakes.

But I really just wanted to tell you I love your last line:
Asking for a friend. That friend is me.

Tell him to fuck off out of your business, and mean it. Next time he wants a chat, say no. Get a burner phone and talk about the kids with him on that. Set yourself free. Small town or no, ignore the fuck out of that fucking wanker.

It's your ring, you can wear it however you want to.

I wouldn't have mentioned his father's funeral online because I just don't do that sort of thing, but maybe you should have told him you were going to do so.

As for the funeral, you weren't sitting with the family so you could sit wherever you wanted to. These posters who wouldn't attend a long standing in-law's funeral are just weird, I would think it disrespectful not to.

Your ex is an ex for a reason. Ignore him and get on with life!

Taking the writing down and removing the ring won't make any difference, he'll just find something else to criticise you for. You need to try medium chill and if that doesn't work, grey rock and a parenting app.

This is controlling which is a form of abuse.

It doesn't really matter whether wearing your engagement ring still is unusual or not what anyone else does. It's yours, you like it and want to wear it and that's where it fits. It is absolutely nothing to do with him anymore. Writing about the funeral wasn't malicious and you are allowed your own opinion on life, even if it's bits of life he has a connection to too.

He can have an opinion on things you do, but he doesn't have any right to have you entertain his opinion, or even listen to it.

So next time he decides to tell you how to live your life I suggest a phrase I recently heard on here: "There We Are Then." The initials are the real message.

Him: "Everyone thinks you're weird wearing your engagement ring on your ring finger"
You: "I see. Well. There We Are Then. Goodbye. No need to drop in again."

Just don't give him the time of day if he's going to be that much of an interfering busybody. It isn't adding anything positive to your life.

Writing - write what you like.

The ring - wear whatever jewellery you like, wherever you like. But - if it’s over £1000 just to insure it, do you feel safe walking around wearing it?

He doesn’t own the ring.

He doesn’t own your hands.

He doesn’t own your 2+ decade relationship with your children’s grandfather.

He doesn’t own your writing platform.

While many people wouldn’t choose to wear their engagement ring due to negative memories (I don’t), you allowed to do whatever you like with your own body and possessions, no matter how eccentric others might regard your choice to be.

The only question to consider is “are my actions causing any actual harm to another” and the answer to that is no. Nobody is being harmed in any real way by what you did. Finding an jewellery choice odd is not a form of harm. Reading someone’s first-hand experiences voiced in a positive way is not a form of harm. Attending the funeral of someone you had a long and positive relationship with is not a form of harm.

Your ex and whoever else need to get over themselves.

I also went to the funeral of my FIL. We lived a 2 hour drive away from where the funeral took place, and my teenage daughter wanted to attend. She did not want to go with her Dad, as his girlfriend was going with him, and she didn't want to spend time with her, while grieving her Grandad. The man had been like a father to me up until a year before he died, and I felt that I was just as entitled to attend the funeral and show my respects as anyone else. My ex's new girlfriend didn't like me being there, but my ex and his sister had no objection whatsoever, as they understood that I loved the man, and had been a part of his family for a long time. My ex also came to my Mother's funeral, and I was pleased to see him there, as he was paying tribute to a wonderful woman who he loved and respected.

It seems to me that the OP's ex is simply trying to be the big I am, and continue controlling her, even though he no longer has a say in her life.

I don't think there was anything wrong with the piece that the OP wrote either, as it wasn't actually an article about his Father, she merely referenced her FIL's funeral as being a wonderful way of paying respects to loved ones, which again, I think if her ex was a reasonable man, he should have been pleased to read, rather than objecting.

The only thing I find a little strange, is continuing to wear the engagement ring on your wedding ring finger, I can totally understand you still wanting to wear it, if you like it, and are worried about it being stolen, but I would definitely change it to the other hand OP, as where you have it, does signify an engagement in most people's minds.