Feeling uncomfortable after sharing a seat with a very obese passenger

No one in the history of anything has ever described an aircraft as public transport 🤭. What's the alternative, flying private?

What a tough time you’re having. I know what it’s like caring for someone with dementia. It absolutely sucks the life out of you. So often when we’re caring for someone else, we forget to take care of ourselves. I’m sorry things are so tough for you

If it was a genuine question - I was perfectly happy as a big woman (hence the username!) and had no interest in losing weight for that reason.

I was big, and comfortable being so. Happy in all of my skin.

The only reason I even started losing weight was because of an unavoidable health issue, otherwise I’d have been satisfied staying the size I was.

It sounds like you were disgusted by her.

@Hadenough32 coaches

I was on a long distance Greyhound bus in Australia once. 10+ hours. I boarded and the person already in the assigned seat next to me was like this, and half into my seat. She chucked and said something along the lines of, good job you're skinny. I'm not. I'm normal size.

The journey was so uncomfortable for me, and seemed never ending as I couldn't sit in my seat properly. I'm not being funny, but she should have booked out two seats for herself, as she needed two. I'm a live and let live usually, but not if it impacts on others.

@ilovepixie sending you a hug.

@ilovepixie that's incredibly sad to hear. Please seek help. If not for you then for people who care. Even us! Please, seek help.

💙

You still have so much life ahead of you. Live for you. You are just as important as your family and friends. You could turn your life around if you wanted. Lose weight, eat healthy, take up hobbies, go on day trips when you can, see the world a different way. Would your mum want you to give up like this? She brought you into the world. Hugs Pixie.

You need to travel first class on trains then you'll get a 2 +1 formation and you can have your own seat. If you're unfortunate enough to have to sit next to an obese person the seats are larger anyway. Or why not drive yourself so you won't need to have anything to do with the general public.

Obesity is a very complex condition. If losing weight was as simple as just telling yourself to eat less then the multi billion dollar weight loss industry wouldn't exist.

Obese people have just as much right to travel on public transport as you do.

Flying?

I’m sorry to hear this. Do you have children?

The seatbelt was a dead giveaway since you don't have to wear it on a coach , but nice try though 👍.

It's definitely down to mindset how you respond to this though - I feel slightly sorry for people with weight issues and screaming children on public transport, rather than think about how it impacts me, but you do you.

Rural buses in Scotland often have seatbelts.

Try harder, OP

I’m morbidly obese. I weight about 21 stone, I am in my late 50’s. I always was a big girl, but I lost my partner four years ago and I am now caring for my mother who has dementia, so I eat For comfort. My weight has blown over the past four years, but I don’t really care as my health is not important to me anymore as I have nothing to live for. So I eat and eat as it’s the only small bit of happiness I have

Spilled not spilt (past tense)

Coaches.

For poor plebs who can't afford trains.

That's why you don't know, you poor sheltered thing!

YABU Do you think she wants to be that overweight? Do you think it makes her life easier or more pleasant? After many years of dealing with patients, many of whom had obesity and related health conditions, I can assure you that her discomfort every day will be far greater than yours on a fairly short journey.
Are you sure you aren't confusing "uncomfortable" with disgust and superiority?

Interesting question. I had a boss who was morbidly obese. Her child was, too. She couldn’t stand, or wear shoes (wore slippers). They got a taxi everywhere. She’s on a mobility scooter now. And her daughter (mid-20s now) uses a walker.

They are co-dependent food addicts. The shopping is delivered to their house twice a week. They also get take-away & eat out. She owns a couple of businesses, a very smart lady. And her daughter is a nice girl. But they somehow function in very large bodies.

National Express coaches have seatbelts.

Coaches

You'll get hate for this but you're not wrong. Every plane or rail journey I seen to be sat next to someone who cannot fit in the seat.

Tbf I don't see it as some moral failing in their part, obesity is a disease. But still, if it was a man who felt entitled to my space I'd push back but when it's someone I can see has no option I feel sorry for them but simultaneously sorry for myself, I should be able to sit comfortably on a 14 hour flight (San Fran!).

Rail replacement buses often use coaches with seatbelts.