Feeling uncomfortable after sharing a seat with a very obese passenger

On the journey I couldn’t help be annoyed at the lack of space I was left with and questioning how do people let themselves get to that size.

Must admit, I am left questioning how people get to adulthood without knowing the difference between "loose" and "lose". I wouldn't have commented on it, but you seem to have made it open season for discussing people's limitations.

No doubt it is uncomfortable. It is uncomfortable being obese too. No issue with OP stating she was uncomfortable.

It's the faux naivety about how people become obese and the assumption that it is based on happiness or even simply to inconvenience others that is the rather silly part.

I’m surprised at the amount of people attacking OP for truthfully describing an uncomfortable experience she had.
I imagine that anyone who has paid for a seat but finds themselves squashed against a large stranger, instead of being able to use the whole seat comfortably, would feel annoyed.
I have family members who are large and I feel great empathy towards them, but I can also empathise with OP.

Come off it, internal flights are not public transport.

I was coming to say this, in case the op is genuinely curious and not just shaming. Some studies say around 50% of obese people have experienced CSA - difficult to accurately quantify but when you think about this it is easy to find compassion.

Another Mumsnet post if things that never happened!

😂

Not everyone can afford two seats. Maybe they should make the seats bigger and accept less profit.

I love the fat bashing on here. It’s just peak Mumsnet

YANBU to feel uncomfortable feeling squashed, but YABVU for the fat shaming after.

If losing weight was easy, no one would be obese.

Saying that, OP I highly doubt they’re that size because they want to. Losing weight is incredibly difficult.

The real issue here is with the airline's seating policy, not the passenger themselves

I don’t really think it is my business to question why people allow themselves to become that big, ultimately it’s their life.
But I do think it is very selfish if you are obese to book only 1 seat on a plane. I’d either pay for two or I wouldn’t travel. You’re literally spilling over into someone else’s personal space.

To be fair on OP I had a morbidly obese coworker and within about 20min after work started, her t-shirt was already a pool of sweat. It’s just a consequence of the weight.

I wouldn’t want anyone sweating glued to me in this heat, thin or obese. Hell, I don’t even want my partner being skin to skin with me right now.

She may not be "happy" being that big. She may not have been in a position to "let" herself get that big.

However I would have felt very uncomfortable at having to sit in a cramped seat where a stranger's body was encroaching onto mine and touching me. If there had been any option to move I would have wanted to. If there wasn't anywhere to move to, I may have felt resentment - I had no power or ability to take action to ensure a base level of comfort for the journey, but the other person could or should have known they would need extra space and made arrangements for this.

Obesity is not simply the result of calories in - calories out. There are many factors contributing to it.

The main cause seems to be insulin resistance which is exacerbated by carbohydrates turning to sugar. Diets that reduce carbs and increase protein and fats are often very successful.

But they can be hard to maintain because our bodies crave sugar, fat and salt and the modern food industry has created a lot of gorgeous-tasting food high in sugar, fat and salt that we crave. Snacking also doesn’t help because the body needs hours of rest from eating to digest the food.

I promise you that woman will have tried everything to lose weight, and often that includes beliefs like calories in = Calories out. She will feel shame about her weight and blame herself when it’s the food industry that is most to blame.

She may have spent most of her life trying to lose weight and will likely die obese. It is a tragedy and we should be doing more to ensure we eat nutritious food prepared from scratch to overcome obesity.

@Bayleaftree63 I was morbidly obese, 22st, probably much like the woman you describe. I was not happy at that weight. The woman you saw today is probably also not happy being that weight. She was probably very aware of not fitting into the seat and of offending you and squashing you.

People like me and the woman you saw today will have tried millions of times to lose weight, unsuccessfully. Often you have some short term success but then you regain and usually gain more. It’s a well known cycle that is almost impossible to get out of once you’ve headed that way. I don’t think you quite understand the consistent sustained effort it takes to lose large amounts of weight.

Since when is a flight public transport? Goady post is goady.

Why wouldn’t you want to loose some weight for a healthier lifestyle.
Do you genuinely think she hasn't tried? Do you think it's possible to exist as a fat woman in today's society and not be constantly told how much better your life would be if you just lost some weight?
A close family member of mine is obese. She's always been larger than average and in middle age, due to complex health conditions has become obese. Every single time she sees a health professional, which is frequently, her weight is the first thing they talk about.
Fat people are allowed to exist. Fat people are even allowed to be happy without wanting to change themselves to get the approval of small minded people like you.

If you didn't mean to offend why did you write an offensive OP ?

There is a very strong relationship between childhood trauma, including sexual abuse, and morbid obesity in adulthood. Severe obesity is a very complex disease.

What’s the question? How are fat people happy?

I’d imagine people of all sizes go through the same range of emotions as you do.

IME there is a proportion of women who are very, very conscious of their weight. They aren’t all fat; lots of them are skinny or a healthy weight. There is also a proportion of women who don’t give a shit about their weight. Weight doesn’t factor into the happiness of lots of people.

Why have you conceded that she was happy? She’s probably not happy

No one is that tone deaf but I’ll bite. You might as well ask whether drug addicts or alcoholics like being addicts, it’s no different as people use food to cope with difficult lives, just as they do alcohol and drugs.