Feeling uncomfortable after sharing a seat with a very obese passenger

Morning...

For info details here of the Southwest airlines scheme I mentioned yesterday:

https://support.southwest.com/helpcenter/s/article/extra-seat-policy

Note amongst other things that the airline has the right to refuse carriage if the passenger has not reserved an extra seat but the airline consider such is necessary

I feel for the OP. I had this on a flight years ago and it was horrible. The man was so big the armrest would not go down, he couldn’t use his tray table and nor could I as his arms were spilling over into my space so it couldn’t go flat. I had to hold the drink I was served and didn’t have the meal as I had nowhere to put the tray.
Whether some want to hear it or not, in circumstances like this where it is a full flight and the passenger has not booked two seats they should be offloaded.

I've been thinking about this and actually I want to revise my earlier comments.

I've spent a lot of time on here unsuccessfully trying to convince people that there is no such thing as "vanity" sizing with clothing. Yes, sizes are getting bigger (and less consistent) but it's not a conspiracy to flatter and delude fat people, it's just change to adapt to people getting bigger overall. It's size inflation, not vanity sizing. The reason they don't just keep size numbers going up and up into infinity is because sizes are based on scale and this is honestly the least faff. There are other things going on as well, but anyway, the point is that it's not about vanity, it's about adapting to a changing market. I don't know why people hate that as much as they obviously do, but it's true and I'm not going to get derailed about it. I'm just going to use it to make the point that markets adapt; as I try to tell people, it's not just clothes, it's also beds, cars, armchairs, everything else has got bigger too.

So actually, the more I think about it, the more I'm thinking maybe plane seats should get bigger to accommodate people in general getting bigger, since everything else does. This will mean higher prices though. It won't happen if it means the death of the industry, and the Michael O'Learys of the world will never do it; they'll continue to sell cheap fares in sardine tins and make (admittedly kind of funny) comments on social media about "well what do you expect for £29.99" when problems arise.

And it really isn't practical to make all seats the size of the very biggest passenger, so there will still need to be a system in place for when two seats are required. I still prefer the "easily buy two that are actually connected and be refunded for one if the plane isn't full". Cannot see anything more reasonable than that. Crew could also add a seatbelt extender when two seats are requested for this purpose as a matter of course before boarding so passengers don't have to be embarrassed.

Ultimately I think the market will decide this one. Are people really prepared to spend more on bigger seats as a general rule? If a couple of airlines are trying it out then I guess we will see.

It is her business though, she had someone practically sitting on her, she was uncomfortable.

How about not physically inflicting your girth on some poor sod sitting in a seat? Oh no, of course that's not acceptable, because that would involve a seriously big person having to accept that they are so overweight that their flesh will make contact with, and affect, someone who has not consented to this physical contact.

Mind your business

I think when something causes an inconvenience to someone ie like your experience, that would be an issue and piss me off so YABU. I'd hate to have someone next to me feeling touched and uncomfortable! unfair in that person

Sigh. Obesity isn’t as simple as a person being lazy or just happy/accepting of being that size. There is usually some mental health aspect to it, and I’m speaking from experience. Not to mention how easy society makes it to be overweight. Yes there is an element of personal responsibility, but it doesn’t help that so many foods are high salt/high sugar/high fat, full of UPFs, there are takeaways on every corner, multiple convenient food delivery options and big business diet companies tempting people with quick fixes that don’t address the underlying reasons for obesity.

Several people posted about the link between sustained, often horrific, abuse and obesity, even including their own personal experience, and then everyone else ignored it and carried on saying they’re annoyed about seats in planes and suchlike. It’s just like IRL. It’s enormously depressing and makes me feel quite hopeless.

“This isn’t about shaming”

…goes on to shame.

“why wouldn’t you want to loose some weight for a healthier lifestyle.”

I’m sure people do. But it’s a chronic condition and it’s complex. Do you not think people would just lose weight if it was that easy?

“it was a genuine question.”

A question that you could have simply Googled to get your answer and maybe educate yourself a little on the complexities of Obesity. Instead you chose to come here and display your ignorance on the matter with your judgy comments.

Some of the readers of your post have come here with their own painful and traumatic experiences to explain to you, I hope you read them in the context they were intended and take on board how hurtful your comments have been.

I'm not saying it isn't a problem or doesn't impact on others, it clearly does, and as others have said it would be good for bigger seats to be available. I was commenting on the derisory way the OP spoke about this woman.

I had an unpleasant flight recently because I was sitting next to a young man who was either lolling over the armrest into my space or leaning into the aisle with his knees wedged, into my space, against the back of the seat in front. It took all my restraint not to slip into "mother mode" and tell him to sit up straight but I would not speak about him in the negative way the original post was made.
Sadly for those of us who fly short haul from Northern airports our only choice is which cattle class airline is the least awful

We arent talking business class or first class here which is unaffordable for many people. Not even premium economy is that much bigger.

There needs to be more of a middle ground where you can pay for wider seats without being priced out completely.

Jet blue already added an extra amount to their seats. United is overhauling its entire fleet and will offer more spacious seats.

Most American airlines are following suit it seems their data tells them more people are paying for premium seats then standard...makes sense people are happy to pay more for better seats.

Anyone who really has flown a lot with a decent number of airlines will testify that wider seats have been available for years, but there seems to some reluctance by some posters to accept that.

It's most certainly not an untapped market.

I suspect what people really want to do is to force their chosen LoCo on their favourite route to offer wider seats, but of course they won't accept that that would come at a cost...

And I and I know the marketers would agree with @ThatCyanCat "'s comment that:

"What people say they will buy and what they actually do buy are two different things."

I can’t believe how insensitive and misinformed your post was.

Of course most (not all) larger/bigger people are not happy.

You won’t know of the struggles of finding something to wear that ‘hides’ any unflattering angles. That isn’t too tight. That is comfortable.
Worried about how others view you.
I’ll bet that lady spent the entire journey feeling embarrassed that her belt didn’t fit and more than likely knew she took up more space than just her seat.

I am by no means a large/big or skinny person myself but have seen the effects and treatment differ to being on either side of the scales.

Try being more understanding next time, it wasn’t just you who was uncomfortable.

Which one?

It will be interesting to see if people are willing to pay more for wider seats. What people say they will buy and what they actually do buy are two different things. I suspect a lot of people will continue to buy the cheaper fares and then just muddle through when it comes to the actual flight if there's a problem, but it'll be interesting to see what the market does.

In the 1970s–1980s, many economy seats were around 18–19 inches wide.

Today, some aircraft have economy seats as narrow as 16.5–17 inches, particularly on certain narrow-body jets.

All to fit more people into planes

Seats are measured by hips not shoulder width and shoulder tend to be wider so yeah you are gling to encroach on people's space regardless. As I said even commuting on trains regularly you see regular sized folks not having any wiggle room. Not everyone can get down to slim builds either.

Its time they updated seat sizes. Infact oe airline I heard is now going to be offering wider seats because they recognise an untapped market.

I think you’re being a bit unfair there. Whilst it’s not the fault of the overweight person, you can’t say that it doesn’t impact on the person next to them. I have chronic arthritis and had to sit next to a very overweight man on a flight once. Sitting awkwardly meant neck pain for the duration of my break.

It was a song by Divine comedy 90s National Express.

They're song lyrics

It's a song by the Divine Comedy.

I don't get the reference, sorry!?

They do, it's on websites

Dancing down the aisle offering coffee and tea when mini skirts in style back in 63
Now it's hard to get by when your arse is the size of a small country..on the National Express.