Feeling uncomfortable after sharing a seat with a very obese passenger

Functionally yes it sucks. People who need two seats should be paying for two. Much like tall people have to pay extra for different seats to fit their legs too.

I am overweight (bmi 29) and tall - I travel first class for work so it’s never an issue. I don’t travel much privately. I do fit in a normal seat though and I don’t womanspread.

No, I get it. It’s infuriating.
You won’t get much support on mumsnet, but this has happened to me a lot and it’s hard to have sympathy when you are next to someone very obese and are squashed and uncomfortable for a journey that you’ve paid for.
You aren’t allowed to say anything either or it’s fat shaming or your satan in disguise. I do wonder what goes on to make people get morbidly obese.

No I don’t have children.

‘Internal flight’ lol ‘public transport’

I can't tell you why we wouldn't want to lose weight. It's a secret, only people in our shameful club know. You'll have to answer a list of questions and meet a strict criteria to join. Unfortunately so far it's looking like a no you can't join. Sorry.

Do you silently judge the looks of every person you meet on public transport? Or just fat people?

I’m writing this as a slim person who was never overweight. Only gained just over a stone in each pregnancy which is pretty much the weight of the baby, waters etc. Eating healthy (but not obsessively „clean”), cooking completely from scratch 90% of time and limiting processed foods.

Obesity is an illness. Obese people feel hunger that cannot be satisfied. We don’t even have a clue what it feels like to have a hole in your stomach that cannot be filled. They think of food all day and can’t stop themselves, whereas people like me only think of it when it’s time for a meal and they get peckish. I will open a pack of pretzels, have a few and feel like I can’t have any more. My cupboard is full of snacks which I barely eat not because I’m actively stopping myself from it, but because I genuinely don’t want them. Staying slim is easy when you’re not compulsively hungry all the time.

Apparently one of the causes of obesity is hormonal imbalance. Stomach produces a hormone which makes you peckish and want to go and check the fridge - obese people have too much of this hormone which makes them hungry all the time. There is also a hormone that makes you full after a meal - obese people have very low levels of it so they’re always overeating and are not satisfied by normal amount of food.

If you think about it, are you really actively stopping yourself from eating enormous quantities of food by choice and strong will? Any normal person would vomit if they were to attempt to eat the amount of food that an obese person eats for one meal. It’s not a choice for us, we just couldn’t do it. It is a choice that makes a difference between skinny and overweight (the type of food you eat) but to be morbidly obese is not about the choice of meals anymore, there are other underlying causes which have nothing to do with strong will or laziness.

This isn’t about shaming, more I’m in disbelief people being that big are happy?

Did this person say they were happy?

Sure it was Op. And this thread was started waaaay after your bedtime. You are going to be tired at school tomorrow.

I think there was a legal case about this in America some years ago and it hinged on whether buying a plane ticket meant you had purchased use of the seat or merely transit. I don't know what happened in the end.

Perhaps this is what they should do!

It seems that this post is collecting the usual responses where people are super keen to express their disgust, revulsion and dislike of very fat people.

Maybe you should have suggested she eats less and moves more? I'd say that would have solved the problem. If you see any anorexic looking girls out and about you should tell them to eat, 2 problems solved. Tell gamblers to stop gambling too. And definitely tell alcoholics to stop drinking, they never seem happy!

I wonder what would happen if they put two morbidly obese passengers in the seats next to each other. And tell them to just get on with it, like the smaller-sized people who have to endure it are told.

She maybe has a serious illness and is taking steroids. She would have been given the seat belt extension thing to fit before flying. Did you speak to her, bet she was really nice and felt awful for squishing you.

They should make it very easy to buy two seats, ensuring they are next to each other (apparently some people do buy two seats because they need them but then find they're not next to each other!) and refund one of them if the plane isn't full.

I think this is the policy for some American internal flights and it seems reasonable to me. Plus size passengers should not be treated poorly or shamed, and people should also be able to have full use of the seat they have purchased.

I’ve been every size from 8 to 16 over the years, currently a 10 (Mounjaro), but have always had a tricky relationship with food. I’ve also struggled to fit in a Japanese plane seat, not realizing they came in different sizes.

I’ve also been rammed against a morbidly obese man on a 7 hour flight. It’s revolting, and often (not always) being bigger increases sweating, which can cause odour, as it did in this man’s case. He should absolutely have purchased two seats, and if he can’t afford to meet his own seating needs on the flight, then he can’t afford to fly.

10000% a goady as fuck shaming post.

I do think OP has a point. Yes, obesity is often a complex medical condition rather than a lifestyle choice, but equally, it's not the OP's fault that this other passenger was suffering from that condition. If I had paid for a seat on a plane/train/bus and the person sat next to me kept hacking up phlegm and swallowing it, or screaming at the top of their lungs for the duration of the journey, I'd be pretty disgruntled too - even though both of those are equally likely to be due to medical issues. They're still unpleasant to be next to.
Having a medical condition doesn't mean that your rights trump everybody else's or that everybody else is obliged to make their needs smaller in order to accommodate yours.

There are buses in Aylesbury that have seat belts

It was the asking how someone can let themselves get fat is what OP is getting grief for.

Pic

@DearZebra it’s the faux naivety of the “how can she be happy?” and “how did she let herself get that way?” questions that I think people have the issue with. As if it’s not obvious with a teeny tiny bit of thought, empathy etc etc.

Is anyone else getting this "large enough for 2" chair ad on this thread? 😃
Bit rude, algorithm

… is it?