Feeling uncomfortable after sharing a seat with a very obese passenger

Hasn't this topic been done to bloody death yet?

I've had disordered eating since childhood. My adult weight has been everything between 6 and 21 stone. If I read one more thread which starts with a variant of 'why oh why do these disgusting sweaty people not just fix themselves' I will hunt down the OP and sit on her.

I am a very healthy weight, very into the gym, have abs etc. You sound very lacking in basic empathy, kindness, and, moreover, intelligence.

This is it, isn't it? Sugar raises dopamine, which makes us feel happy for a while. Sometimes food is comfort and the nicest part of the day, even the sitting down to eat for a few moments, just with our thoughts is nice.

Sorry you're having a tough time of it and kudos with your mum. It's a very very hard thing to go through and send hugs.

Maybe she was unhappy and would like to lose weight. Maybe she’s actually a stone lighter than she was last month so is losing weight. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’ve had uncomfortable journeys due to sitting next to obese people, but it can’t be easy for them either, both being overweight and knowing that people judge, gets annoyed etc. It’s just sitting next to them for a journey for me where as they have to cope every day so it’s probably best to show a bit more kindness.

chubbers gonna chub.

How I let myself get to this size?

self sabotage. ADHD. Abused as a child. Cancer.

feel better about yourself now?

All these comments being politically correct…. We know what we are suppose to say. That’s all well and good when you’re not the person swished into half or less of a seat because the large person encroaches on your property.
Absolutely no problem when you’re not sharing unequally that space.

People can relate and support the idea that anyone who extends into their seat should have to purchase a second seat - including very obese folks, very tall folks, parents who mistakenly believe they can have a chunky 23 month old as a lap baby. This should be made as easy as possible (which is not currently the case)

the same people can also say that op is judgemental, fat phobic and faux naive.

Be honest, would you though? The OP might be being mean, but would she be encroaching on your space on the National Express and stuffing you into the window or pushing you into the aisle? Would she annoy you the whole journey, even unintentionally like the larger passenger would do? I often think these replies are virtue signalling.

If it was a flight then she would have needed a seat belt extender. Didn’t the cabin crew check!

Genuine question my arse!

Lol, were you hiding behind the door when common sense was being handed out @Bayleaftree63 ?

This.

I’ll add judgey and overdramatic as well as

I was on an internal flight and one of the crew asked if I didn't mind moving to the window seat. I said it was fine. The plane was full.

Then a morbidly obese man sat beside me. He was the last passenger on.

To my shame, I did feel deflated. I'm being honest. However he was a very young man and I felt sorry for him. He apologised a lot and I said it was no worries. The arm seat had to go up. I've no idea how he got his seatbelt on. Thankfully I'm slim.

It was a 40 minute flight and he ate a meal during that time, which made me feel even more for him.

A lesson in feeling empathy and care I'll never forget.

Yes, exactly that. A private jet.

I consider most flights to be public transport. They are full of members of the public, after all.

Are you American or Australian OP? I think "domestic flight" is more usual in UK.

Pillory the woman for being fat and "not doing anything about it"
And probably have a dig at folk using the jabs as well. For cheating🙄

Utter crap. At least own your nasty attitude.

Take the National Express, when your life's in a mess ......

I wonder if it was the same overweight person that was observed wearing shorts at a Harry Styles gig at the weekend. How dare overweight people go out in public places.

No I would never comment on someone’s appearance in public, i hate things like that I think that is very rude. I never meant i would say anything to the person, more about asked to be moved by the staff but it causes awkwardness in my experience so unfortunately we just have to be squashed. I’ve been next to overweight passengers who have made a joke of it saying ‘it’s a good job you don’t need much space’ - yes but i would like some space! It’s the whole having to suck it up thing that is annoying.

I flew out on Ryan Air and I was SO worried about being the fat person spilling into someone else's space that Mumsnet loves to wish didn't exist. Turns out the sporty young man next to me had enormous shoulders that spread into my space. Seats are small. People are big.

I know you're just joking, but I know who I'd rather sit next to 🌷

@mrlistersgelfbridedo you genuinely wonder? You can’t fathom it at all? It’s very easy to overeat, more so if you are stressed, unhappy, tired, traumatised, bored, and so on and so on. Once you’ve become significantly overweight or obese, it becomes harder and harder to even just maintain your weight let alone lose any. If you get into the cycle of diet/regain, which is very common, then you will just cycle through losing a bit and regaining more than you lost. This is surely very well known?

What are you going to say? Are you going to turn to the person next to you and ask why they are fat?

I have a friend who is morbidly obese. She got on a bus and asked a lady to move her bag so she could sit down. The lady refused and said to her "I don't want your fat ass sat next to me".
So my friend sat on her bag.
My friend has been bigger, but has been going to the gym. But she has various medical issues and is on meds that are known for weight gain.
But obese people are fair game when it comes to rude comments.. It is their fault they are fat 🙄