Feeling uncomfortable after sharing a seat with a very obese passenger

I'm a big girl who used to be much bigger and was so paranoid about taking up space on a flight that I booked premium economy. It's horrid to have someone big over spilling into your personal space and OP is well within her rights to question it.

There are no excuses - it's overeating, pure and simple. I overeat. Have done most of my adult life. I wish I could control it better than I do.

If you don't want to offend people, maybe you could take the time to read the thread before voicing your (outdated) opinions? Just a suggestion

So you have a chronic condition which causes weight gain, which you need to manage with medication...and you are still saying "calories in, calories out innit?"

Willfully blind doesn't quite cover it

I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to upset or offend you, please accept my apology.

Yes I have had an under active thyroid for the last 20 years.
Obviously I take Levothyroxine for it, watch my diet, exercise and stay a healthy weight.

Thank you. That's interesting. Yeah it makes sense. I was just imagining what might happen if everyone was very overweight.

Weight gain is often a symptom to trauma.

Many people comfort eat after trauma. Me and my brother were both severlely abused as children. Both of us are overweight.

Many women also gain weight after being sexually abused. As they don't want to look sexually attractive.

I put on a lot of weight after being sexually assaulted as an adult

There is a point when there is no excuse for these sorts of opinions. If you said this 20 years ago someone might take the time to educate you. Saying this in 2026, there is no excuse for, so nobody should give you the time of day frankly

Of course you were goading. We can read your OP.
Drop and run. 👋

"Why wouldn't you want to loose some weight"

That's ignorant of what people go through.

A lot of people are overweight as they comfort eat after going through traumas. They can't stop and become addicted to food.

I spent 6 years of my life trying to lose weight. It's all I thought about. Being overweight is very uncomfortable. Nothing worked. Diets didn't work. Weight loss injections didn't work.

I tried very very hard to lose weight and nothing worked

Yet it actually works. Funny that.

seems like they may have just wanted to say ‘fat people, gross! Amirite? ‘
Who knows, perhaps make OP feel a little better about themselves.

This is absolutely archaic.

If they paid for health care i wonder how that would help them.
Working with a over weight lazy person who was so self absorbed made me sick
Obesity is unlike we have ever seen.

@BillieWiper

It also makes the whole question about luggage weight seems like a scam. They don't know how many above average weight people they're going to get, so clearly they can take an unlimited number of them before the plane becomes too heavy?

FWIW there's a whole system involving assumed passenger weights that most airlines use. Those systems are checked in part by occasionally/frequently running surveys where passengers get weighed at airports.

That's done to ensure the assumed figures have some basis in reality, and in any event there's enough buffer built into the assumed weight figures and enough flex in aircraft performance to cope with minor deviations from the ideal.

Crew are also usually briefed to look out for instances where the passenger weight demographic looks skewed...e.g. carrying an entire NFL or Rugby squad.

You need to get on to the World Heath Org, now! Tell them you’ve found the cure for the obesity crisis!

Wondering why a person with obesity 'doesn't just lose weight' is the same type of thinking as 'why can't that parent stop their baby from crying?'. Jeez, if only they'd realise that it's just SO simple. 🙄

Did you think she was genuinely curious?

Yes, good idea, deflecting people to different seats so you don't need to sit near them. We could have different seating areas for different types of people.

I seem to recall something very like this has been put in place when people didn't want to be near other people whose physical characteristics they didn't like. What could I be thinking of ...? I'm sure it was a bus involved ...

So OP has just done one (obnoxious) goady post then pissed off?

What a charmer

I'm guessing you mean a plane.

Yeah it's not good. The seats on short haul and budget airlines are tiny. My knees get bruised sometimes and I'm only 5'5. I've never had to be next to a very big person thank goodness.

You need to try Finland airways. Apparently they weigh you along with your luggage. But idk what they can say if you're big. They can't force you to buy a second seat. Maybe they should.

It also makes the whole question about luggage weight seems like a scam. They don't know how many above average weight people they're going to get, so clearly they can take an unlimited number of them before the plane becomes too heavy? So why be so tight about luggage? I guess maybe that's the reason why, it's the only factor they can control.

Given how seat selection and often check-in is done according to passenger preference and before passengers get anywhere near the airport I don't see how that could be facilitated on a routine basis.

You could have moved AND you don't have to be such a judgy asshole.

Do you say the same about anorexics? Alcoholics? Drug users?

Or do you save your bile just for fatties?

On a flight seats are allocated so the person who sits beside you is taken out of your hands. All you can do is ask the cabin crew if there are any spare seats. On a bus, coach or train seats are not usually allocated so its up to the individual to defend their own space. I dont want to be squashed all the way to Paris. By telling the person I was "waiting for my friend" I deflected her to another seat without having to be nasty or confrontational. If I had a real friend I was waiting for I would obviously have kept it for her.

I was on a short flight recently, in an aisle seat. The man in the middle seat was big and had his arms folded for most of the flight, probably trying very hard not to encroach on my space - his partner was in the window seat. I felt sorry for him. It's not easy being comfortable in tiny spaces.