AIBU in thinking you can fall in love with someone you’ve met online?

No, and unless there’s a decent reason I’d be wondering why there’d be no attempt to meet in person after 6 weeks of chatting. When I was OL dating I’d give it a week, at the very most, before I concluded it wasn’t going anywhere.

Lots of people saying you can't be in love but you can be infatuated.

I'd say you can't he in love but you can be attached. And that isn't necessarily healthy. And certainly not in this case.

He lives 10 hours away
What you know of him is only what he is allowing you to see/know. You don't actually know him at all.

And, as for not knowing what you'd do without him in your life, what were you doing 7 weeks ago?

Answer that question (to yourself, not on here unless you want to!) and you may find the answer as to why you you have become attached so quickly - people who have happy and fulfilled lives are rarely people who find themselves feeling in love with a stranger online.

You are certainly in love @JosieMay1970 but you are in love with a fictional person that is a combination of the carefully curated information that this man has given you (some of which will be false or misinterpreted) and your own fantasies filling in the gaps (a lot of which will be false).

Unfortunately this means the relationship is probably doomed because the real Human Being will never be quite as good as the fantasy you initially fell in love with.

It's easy to make this mistake, and it's important when meeting people online to guard your heart until you know them in real life, to avoid this exact circumstance.

Tell us about this man. Who is he? How old is he? What does he do for a living? Are you sure he’s not lovebombing you? Has he asked you for any money - maybe for a surgery or a sick mother?

You can’t be in love but you can be infatuated. I found myself in a similar ’penpal’ situation for six months - I thought he was amazing. When we met he was just weird. What was funny in messages came across as sneery and mean in real life - very Kenneth Williams - and I got the ick almost immediately.

My husband fell in love with me before we met (met on eHarmony). Been together nearly 9 years married for 7....
And 3 of my friends have also been in marriages longer than this who met on eHarmony.... And all had fell in love before meeting- so absolutely possible.....

You're infatuated, not in love, with your own inner picture of what this man is like, not the reality of who he actually is.

Absolutely not. You don’t even know him.

No, but I’d say this is a sign you’re very lonely and need a connection, so I think I’d try to find someone who lives closer to you and is “real” . This is just a fantasy, likely for both of you, filling a gap in your life.and you have come to rely on it and build it up into something it’s not.

Does he ask you if you’ve eaten and call you “My Queen”? If so, he’s a romance scammer. Check out the Catfished YouTube channel.

Friend’s son met someone gaming, they chatted for months, he went to states to visit (he is in the UK) came back engaged, they now have a baby. They seem happy.

but in general, no, you are being an idiot.

You are in love with the idea of him that you have in your head. The reality might match the fantasy or it might not. Also bear in mind that you might not match up to his fantasy.

In those You Tube videos, where they uncover catfishing every single victim is in love with the person they think they are in a relationship with, so it is best to be very wary.

No you can have those intense emotions but it’s not love in my opinion

That’s the end of that then.

No. Likely scam

Yes you maybe infatuated becaise.of the snipets of the day and his life.
Only sharing the good times
If you arrived home to him being a slob and farting maybe not so enticing

Lots of people initially meet online, that’s not the question - but you can’t really know someone until you’ve met in real life.

You can fall in love with the person they are presenting to be. The issue is that it may not be who they really are.

Have you checked to see if his face is registered as someone else OP, it's simple to do using Google lens. As others have said, in order to love someone, you need to actually know them, you need to know how they react to things, how they behave when they're sick, or when you are. A 10 hour distance even if it's in your own country is very unlikely to lead to a long term relationship, and if he's in another country, the likelihood of it being a scam is MUCH higher. If he's made you think that you're already in love with him worries me too, as love bombing is a typical scammer's ploy. Why haven't you met him in the flesh yet OP?

No.

At this level of intensity, sounds more likely to be a scam to me. Most real people don't have time for this. Scammers, however, will give you the full on love bombing experience, then start asking for their payback. Be aware.

He'll happily convince you that you can fall in love online, and he can't wait to see you and be building a future with you, now if you could just help him out with some money for the airfare/random legal issue/treatment for a tragic illness.

Do a video call and try to check he's real. Be aware that videos can be faked in real time, so even that's no guarantee. Meet in person. Make sure he stays at a hotel away from your house.

Don't under any circumstances send him any money or gifts or gift cards, and do not give him personal details like your full name, date of birth, financial status, address, work address, where you bank etc.

Don’t be silly, OP. You’ve got a penpal. You don’t know what his breath is like, whether he’s polite to waiters, whether he can pronounce his rs, whether he is capable of an interesting conversation, whether he picks his ears, whether he quibbles over sp,itt8ng bills because your drink was 50p more expensive than his — all things that 20 minutes in a coffee shop would tell you.

You’ve got to meet. I've had more than one guy where we got on brilliantly online, then in person- just no chemistry. Don't invest too much time and energy until you have met in person.

No of course not. Don't be ridiculous!

He could be a romance scammer. Even if he’s genuine, if he’s 10 hours away you’re probably wasting your time anyway. Be careful either way.

No, but they met up and got married. They flew out to the USA to do so.
It worked for them.

OP didn’t you start a thread recently about the fact you were worried about your adult son spending a night in a hotel with another adult?
But you’re now talking about your own relationship with a man you’ve never met?