AIBU in thinking you can fall in love with someone you’ve met online?

OP, looking at your posting history, I suspect you’re quite vulnerable, possibly quite lonely, and quite naive (eg you were desperately worried that your son was going to a hotel with a female friend and might have sex… when he’s 26 years old).

You are also, I’m assuming from your posts, middle-aged.

You are an absolutely textbook target for an online romance scam. Seriously. This isn’t real. And even if it was, it would have more red flags than a Communist rally. Six weeks of intense messaging and photos of every meal and talking about love when you’ve never met and have only been talking for six weeks? With someone who lives 10 hours away? That isn’t how a normal man behaves. It just isn’t.

And? When I met my man we lived in different countries. I met him after 10 weeks chatting. Why haven’t you met yet?

Sounds like you’re live bombing each other.

I know an older woman who was romance scammed for $30,000 by a guy she thought she was in love with who lived “too far away” to meet. Never send money however strongly you feel and however apparently good the reason.

No you have fallen in love with the version of him that he is presenting to you. He many not be who he seems. Be very careful - do not send him money no matter what story he tells you.

You can have very strong feelings for him, the potential for a loving relationship.
I met a couple on holiday who married after 3 weeks, 20 years together. It happens.

No! Unless you have met in real life it's just a fantasy. This is how romance scams happen. Get back to reality...

Where is that, roughly?

Do you think it would be realistic for him to be in love with you? Having never met you, never lived with you, doesn’t know you on a day to day basis?

If a virtual stranger came up to you and said he’s seen you around and is in love with you, would you think it was real love or he just had a crush, as he doesn’t really know you?

I couldn't just not reply after reading some of the comments.

Sadly, not. I think it's excitement, lust, passion, limerence, but yes your head and heart will be tugging you in different directions.

Enjoy it for what it is but don't get hurt x 💐

You’ve got a crush on him. Until you actually meet in person it’ll never be more than that.

No, you are infatuated with the idea of him and the picture you’ve built up in your mind of him with you filling in the gaps. I’d tread carefully here. Don’t trust him yet.

So what’s the goal here? - will you travel to meet him, him to you or meet up halfway? Or is this only going to be a chatting online thing?

I’m sure he is very much a real person and genuine but people “fall in love” with AI chatbots now because they just mimic what we want to hear etc - my point being that you need to meet in person, spend time together, see each other’s flaws etc before it could be anything meaningful.

Are you my mum?

She’s daft like this. The latest is she put my son on the phone to talk to the latest one (she had met him once). Utterly ridiculous.

After 6 weeks? No.

But I met my partner online. We spoke for 3 years before he flew over to meet me. We’ve been together for 15 years with 3 children.

Why have you not met yet?!

So do you accept the predominant view on here OP, that it’s not love?

be careful OP, this could be a catfishing centre in the far east

Yes limerance, not love. Similar to if you “love” a popstar.

My opinion is this can happen if you don’t have enough going on in your life, attention wise etc.

You are absolutely not in love with him and are likely to come down to earth with a crash if you actually meet

Or it could be a 10 hour drive to…the north of Scotland.

Well, it happened to me, very very quickly I knew this person was meant to be part of my life.

He moved to be closer a few months after that and we’ve been together over a year now, and very very happy. We’re an excellent match and we both knew that very quickly.

He needs to send you videos of him doing the following things

1. Clearing his throat
2. Eating an apple
3. Watching the news
4. Going round the supermarket on a weekday morning without taking blood pressure pills
5. Driving to work
6. Being asleep
7. Being awake
8. Reading
9. Applying salt / pepper to a meal
10. Stretching
11. Breathing
12. Opening the curtains

This will give you the answer

How do you know this? If all you have done is exchange messages, he could be next door for all you know. Have you even spoken on the phone or heard his voice at all? I suspect, like most others here, that you are being scammed. Put it to the test- say you need to meet (halfway if necessary and in public, obviously). If he always has a reason not to (especially if the ‘reasons’ are implausible ie he’s been rushed to hospital or been kidnapped), then I think you’ll know where you stand. Do not, under any circumstances, give him any money.

Don't waste any more time on him. Arrange to meet up half way and then decide. For all you know you might him and the attraction might fall off. It could also go through other way and be really in love. You won't know until you meet.

You’re in love with the idea of this person, not in love with him