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Original poster

My friend boyfriend beat her up

115 replies

Peaceofmind12 · 22/06/2026 19:31

My friend’s boyfriend of 2 month has beaten her up. She has a black eye and told me that he punched, kicked her and pulled her hair because of messages he found in her phone talking to a guy before they was together. He justified his behaviour because when they got together she told him the guy she was talking to before him was just a friend. Because she had lied he beat her up in her parents house while her toddler daughter and children siblings where in the house.

im worried about her. Hes moved into her house paying no rent, he expects her to cook and clean for him, he’s brought her new clothing that covers her and he doesn’t like her going out and checks all her messages. She has a two year old aswell and I’m worried for both of them. I’m concerned what he will do next as they are trying for a baby.

I find it so hard to sit by and watch this. She’s had a tough few years and besides this story this is not the only trauma her and her child have gone through. I can sit and be a good friend and just listen but when do I become an enabler to her child’s harm if I sit and do nothing.

Has anyone got any advice?

OP posts:
ProudCat · 22/06/2026 19:55

You need to worry about the kid, not put the adult first in this situation.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 22/06/2026 19:53

Report to social services as a very basic, this isn’t optional, safe guarding is everyone’s responsibility. I’d also speak to the police and see what they suggest.

If they removed her child it’s not ‘drastic’ is keeping the child safe. What’s drastic is this monster in her house

Pinkflamingo10 · 22/06/2026 19:52

Peaceofmind12 · 22/06/2026 19:51

Does anyone know that if I report it will they give her support first before doing anything drastic like removing her child. She already involvement with them and I know she’s a good person just lost

Support is always offered first. Children are very rarely taken away from their mothers.

Pinkflamingo10 · 22/06/2026 19:51

If it everybody’s responsibility to protect children.
you need to phone the police and report that this toddler is living in a house with domestic violence. you can remain anonymous.

with your friend presumably you’ve offered to bring her to women’s aid for advice ? Or to bring her to police to report assault ? If he’s already beating her up after two month who knows where this could end up. In the UK a woman is killed by a partner or ex-partner every 4 days.
theres no point to a Claire’s law police check here-we KNOW this man is violent.

Original poster
Peaceofmind12 · 22/06/2026 19:51

Does anyone know that if I report it will they give her support first before doing anything drastic like removing her child. She already involvement with them and I know she’s a good person just lost

OP posts:
Itsseweasy · 22/06/2026 19:49

You urgently need to report this to the police and social services. If not for her but for her poor kids.

Pinkdayss · 22/06/2026 19:48

Absolutely report to Social Services asap.
She's putting men ahead of her children.

ChirpieCheese · 22/06/2026 19:47

Please phone the police OP and report the incident.

RoseField1 · 22/06/2026 19:46

Call the police and report it, and to social services.

ChickenBananaBanana · 22/06/2026 19:46

I'd be ringing the police and social and protecting the kids.

NeedyLimeMember · 22/06/2026 19:46

This is so worrying and a massive safeguarding concern. I would usually say tread carefully but as there are children involved this should definitely be reported to your local safeguarding services. They will have a duty team you can ring and discuss it with. I'm sorry to say your friend probably won't take this well at first, but those children are at serious risk of harm.
Does your friend understand the seriousness of it or is she minimising it? It would be better if she's in a place to accept support but even if she isn't I'd be ringing safeguarding services.

PussInBin20 · 22/06/2026 19:45

Report to Social Services asap.

Original poster
Peaceofmind12 · 22/06/2026 19:43

Also I don’t know how much history he has in this country. He is on a work visa so I have no idea if Claire Law would pick anything up. But besides that she’s telling me he’s a good person

OP posts:
Original poster
Peaceofmind12 · 22/06/2026 19:42

I’ve spoken to her time and time again about different situations. This one has shocked me so much. I used to say you have to stop before something bad happens to you or the child. The bad has happened and she’s telling me he didn’t mean and that she knows he it he won’t do it again. Social services are already involved (not for this reason) and I said you do know they can take your little one and I know she hasn’t listened

OP posts:
meganorks · 22/06/2026 19:40

Do you think you would be able to get through to your friend at all? Because on every level she seems to be showing incredibly poor judgement. No one should be moving in a 2 month old relationship and trying for a baby. That's before factoring in that she already has a 2 year old. He's beaten her up 2 months in, this isn't going to get better. Her and her 2 year old are in serious danger. Can you at least convince her to stop trying for a baby?! If he's beating a girlfriend up after 2 months, more than likely he has past convictions. Help her to do a Clare's law check on him.