Friend has gotten really funny due to my weekend away with man

Good luck OP for your weekend with your new man, why could you not tell your bf that your budget is different to hers.

Fuck your friend. You have every right to prioritise a new relationship over a friend who you see frequently.

Actually, if I had a friend who used the expression "sniff of cock" it would be a total off-put and would bring into focus all the other reasons I'd had to hesitate about committing to a weekend away with her.
The weekend with the new man may or may not turn out positively. It should, in any case, give you a better glimpse into whether deepening this relationship is a runner, or not. That makes it worthwhile to take the risk. Good luck OP.

This sounds like you are paying your half? Good...he won't feel you 'owe' him. (Don't pay FOR him, though!) I suppose you therefore have some say over the accommodation, so you are comfortable and safe, and also a way back home if it doesn't work out.

I hope you have the first of many fabulous times.

I can't believe the votes on this thread. As another commenter remarked, MN is wild lately.

Friends don't try to compete and interfere with your love life, but support you in trying to find happiness with the right partner. This is just one of several red flags I'm picking up already from this person. It would not surprise me to learn that she is unattached and is envious that you have found a partner and wants to spoil that.

My 2c is don't let her guilt you out of your holiday, and also take some time to reflect on the depth of her friendship.

Maybe OP could circulate an apology to all her friends about her reentry into dating, and present herself nicely giftwrapped for punishment when they holiday expensively together without cock.

It is the equivalent of bros before hos.

Sisters before Misters
FFS where did you get that from 🤣🤣🤣

I voted YABU but reading further into the thread ive changed my thoughts.
Does she have a partner? Sounds like she could be jealous, given the fact you see her so much. Ive never seen my nearest and dearest that frequently! Your not being a bad friend.

I think we are using jealous differently—I don’t mean she wishes she had a boyfriend to go with or wishes a relationship with this bf so not sexual jealousy. I mean she is acting possessive about the relationship with OP and acting like it is unreasonable for OP to have more than one friend.

The absolute snottiness of the “cock” comment and the fainting fit here over OP trying to increase her social circle rather than go on a trip with someone who she sees every week is just bizarre to me.

How is the old friend acting like an actual friend here? This smacks of a foul weather friend to me . She prefers the OP single snd at social loose ends than coupled up. Some friend!

Why is she jealous? OP said this is her best friend, they’d been speaking about going away and OP hasn’t committed. Now she’s going away with a man, I’d be annoyed too. I wouldn’t be jealous though.

Do what you want to do .
Ignore the posters on here .. im not fussed on girls holidays at all.
Much prefer to go away with my man .
She sounds jealous.

Uh…yes because she’s jealous. She thinks OP should privilege her over other friends—in this case a boyfriend—and is acting like a dog who is resource guarding a bone. She is absolutely jealous of her time/relationship with OP and is acting like it is an exclusive one.

The only toxic friend here is OP.

Feeling cast aside by a friend she sees regularly just because OP is having a romantic weekend away is not only childish but toxic.

Op has a right to her own time and life, if that is not enough for clingy friend… she is not a friend.

The friend won’t cheer her on if she feels like she’s been cast aside. And no, not because she’s jealous.

Op you are going to have to be honest with friend if you want to carry on the friendship just say it as it is she will either flip out or accept you won’t be going away anytime soon.

@Laurenn25 i was going to say I can see her point it would feel like you have a better offer with someone you’ve known less time. But on reading the reasons why I completely get it and is don’t blame you. I also had a good friend who I went away with once a year but she has several things that grate on me and it’s just not enjoyable for me so I’ve had to distance myself from the weekends away unfortunately she took the hump I didn’t go away with her and she doesn’t even know why 🙈🙈🙈as yoh say didn’t want to offend her. Can hardly say you spend all the entire time texting, calling home and watching your ring doorbell 😂

Only on Mumsnet…. :-)

🥱 Yer another post where the OP argues every point that’s made in favour of her being unreasonable.

You can have random friends who come & go. You can also have friends you've known since school days and try hard to keep the group alive with regular gatherings. The sad fact is as life moves on resulting in each member of the groups circumstances changing, sometimes dramatically, so then does the group dynamic. Friends are important. A romantic relationship with a potential partner is more important. The OP may have met her life partner. It's only right she gives this every chance from the very beginning. Her friend deemed it to be choosing cock. I would choose to distance myself from her.

To be honest if my best friend, who has been single for so long, had started a new relationship that has now progressed onto travelling together, I would be celebrating with her and telling her to have an amazing time, send photos, have a lot of fun rather than offending her with very crass comments to make her feel guilty for missing on the amazing opportunity to travel with me! 🤣 It is simply, a different type of trip.

All my friends are like that, we tend to cheer each other when they are doing something nice with their boyfriends, partners, family rather than sulking because they may not have as much time for us when they are busy with their own lives.i

I am not dealing in rules of life. OP wants to date and a friend would cheer her on!

Not every woman is obsessed with getting a man. You shouldn’t abandon your friends because you might develop a relationship. I’ve known a couple of ‘friends’ like this, they always come back when the shine wears off.

Maybe neither of them likes each other much, and this friendship of (in)convenience will recalibrate itself.

Presumably OP has more than one friend/frenemy and, if she is looking, possibly more than one prospective man to date. It is not some kind of zero sum game between Mr Unknown Cock and Ms Expensive Escape.