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Friend has gotten really funny due to my weekend away with man

363 replies

Laurenn25 · 22/06/2026 18:22

I’ve been single for three years, single Mum to primary age DC who I’ve put first during that time. Only recently did I start looking to date again, I’ve met someone who I get along really well with and we’ve arranged a weekend away for mid-July.

My best friend had been on for a while about the two of us going away for a weekend, but for various reasons I didn’t outright commit to this. I told her it would depend on a few factors including finances.

I’ve told her about my planned weekend with the man I’m seeing and she got really funny and asked is that why I can’t go away with her. I said it wasn’t as simple as that. She said we’ve been friends for years and as soon as I’ve got a ‘sniff of cock’ I’ve dropped her. I haven’t dropped her at all.

It’s true I probably could have gone away with her, but I didn’t commit to it and can’t afford two trips now. She has made me feel a bit crap.

OP posts:
Laurenn25 · 22/06/2026 18:46

Tableforjoan · 22/06/2026 18:44

You should have just been honest though.

I love you you’re a great mate but you snore like a bloody chunuk so unless we can get separate rooms I’m not sure we can holiday for a weekend.

Id respect that as a mate 🤷🏻‍♀️

With some friends I would have said as much but I know she’d take it personally- she can be very highly strung.

OP posts:
NoCommentingFromNowOn · 22/06/2026 18:46

Satsuma55 · 22/06/2026 18:37

The only reason she gave was financial...so if she can afford only 1 weekend away , she's chosen a new bloke over her best friend.

She’s allowed to do that.

What if the best friend suggests something every weekend? She’s going to say ‘no’ to that too. She already sees her every weekend. Why can’t someone say ‘I’m going away with my new boyfriend this weekend’?

Although she might not if the friend is going to give her grief about it every time.

LateMumma · 22/06/2026 18:45

I think I’d be a bit upset too

wheredidtheteago · 22/06/2026 18:44

You sound like a crap friend tbf! Enjoy your holibobs with the mr though.

Tableforjoan · 22/06/2026 18:44

You should have just been honest though.

I love you you’re a great mate but you snore like a bloody chunuk so unless we can get separate rooms I’m not sure we can holiday for a weekend.

Id respect that as a mate 🤷🏻‍♀️

StarPyjamas · 22/06/2026 18:43

Laurenn25 · 22/06/2026 18:40

I can hardly turn round to her and say ‘you are overweight and I can’t cope with your snoring’ can I?

Well no because only an utter bitch would say that.

You could however say 'I'm sorry but your snoring keeps me awake'?

Something else you clearly can't see...

AClassicTrenchcoat · 22/06/2026 18:42

Don’t go running to her when your man friend relationship doesn’t work.

ComtesseDeSpair · 22/06/2026 18:42

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 22/06/2026 18:35

What do you think about OPs reasons?

Or anyone else?

I think OP should have led with the reasons she wasn’t keen - that they’d holidayed together before and it hadn’t always gone brilliantly, and they couldn’t agree on a budget or destination - from the point at which the idea of another holiday was initially raised. In her friend’s eyes, it’s now inevitably going to feel like she’s been dropped because a boyfriend has come onto the scene, and is being given excuses.

pikkumyy77 · 22/06/2026 18:42

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Tableforjoan · 22/06/2026 18:41

Wow you sound lovely. So I take it your new man doesn’t snore then 😅

Tableforjoan · 22/06/2026 18:41

I mean it’s how it looks isn’t it.

Can’t get a free weekend to holiday with a mate but the second it’s a man with the possibility for sex boom weekend free.

Laurenn25 · 22/06/2026 18:40

ColdAsAWitches · 22/06/2026 18:37

You might have a point if you'd said any of this to her. But it seems like you never actually gave a reason, so it very much looks to your friend that you've simply gone with a better offer. Can you really not see that?

I can hardly turn round to her and say ‘you are overweight and I can’t cope with your snoring’ can I?

OP posts:
p0pple · 22/06/2026 18:39

Laurenn25 · 22/06/2026 18:30

We see each other 3/4 times a month, she has some habits which to be honest grate when I’ve had a weekend away with her before, the suggestions she made were all pricier than I’d have liked (I made other suggestions which she wasn’t keen on).

That’s fair comment. If you didn’t mention to her about the expensive choices though that’s why she’s probably jumping to conclusions.

StarPyjamas · 22/06/2026 18:37

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 22/06/2026 18:35

What do you think about OPs reasons?

Or anyone else?

I think she posted them when hardly anyone agreed with her.

I think the 'grating habits' are a red herring as if they were that bad, the OP wouldn't have told her 'it depends on a few factors'.

She was thinking about it until this guy came along.

Naurrr · 22/06/2026 18:37

It does seem like the variety of reasons you couldn't go disappeared when a man is involved.

Can you not understand why she feels discarded?

ColdAsAWitches · 22/06/2026 18:37

Laurenn25 · 22/06/2026 18:30

We see each other 3/4 times a month, she has some habits which to be honest grate when I’ve had a weekend away with her before, the suggestions she made were all pricier than I’d have liked (I made other suggestions which she wasn’t keen on).

You might have a point if you'd said any of this to her. But it seems like you never actually gave a reason, so it very much looks to your friend that you've simply gone with a better offer. Can you really not see that?

Satsuma55 · 22/06/2026 18:37

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 22/06/2026 18:35

What do you think about OPs reasons?

Or anyone else?

The only reason she gave was financial...so if she can afford only 1 weekend away , she's chosen a new bloke over her best friend.

Givemeachaitealatte · 22/06/2026 18:35

You have done exactly what she said though unfortunately OP. I think she called you out and you feel guilty because you know she's right, it's okay for you to feel guilty. I would apologise and say she's right, you've committed to the trip now but how about we plan one for later in the year or next year.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 22/06/2026 18:35

Satsuma55 · 22/06/2026 18:33

She's right.

What do you think about OPs reasons?

Or anyone else?

ofcolitas · 22/06/2026 18:34

I'm with your friend here sorry.

I wouldn't have been so vulgar as to make the "sniff of cock" remark but I do find it very difficult to respect women who use other women as stand-ins for men.

Satsuma55 · 22/06/2026 18:33

She's right.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 22/06/2026 18:33

Laurenn25 · 22/06/2026 18:30

We see each other 3/4 times a month, she has some habits which to be honest grate when I’ve had a weekend away with her before, the suggestions she made were all pricier than I’d have liked (I made other suggestions which she wasn’t keen on).

These are really good reasons not to go away with her. It doesn’t mean you’re not good friends. It simply means her ideas don’t match with yours. You’re fine ✅

StarPyjamas · 22/06/2026 18:33

She's not wrong OP!

RisingSunn · 22/06/2026 18:33

To be honest she has a point.

Kingfisherfly · 22/06/2026 18:32

Can you really not see it would be upsetting to have a long term friend all non committal about a weekend away "for various reasons" and then jump at the chance to go with someone else?