Friend has gotten really funny due to my weekend away with man

Or just what @sodtheexpense said.

God forbid this woman have preferences and make a choice instead of putting herself out on demand.

She doesn't have to go, but people are just saying they can see why the friend might be hurt. That stops well short of saying she ought to have gone.

I know someone who just turned down a marriage proposal. I don't think she should have taken it, but I'd be a bit🤔 if she was complaining about him being hurt - which he is (and she isn't perplexed or complaining about that).

Not much. They sound like the typical drip feed when the poll isn't going OP's way. They may be valid points but it's obviously relevant so why not lead with that?

She feels a bit hurt Op.

Yep. I'm another who is baffled by the responses. The friend wasn't owed first shout. She wanted a weekend away together but in order for that to happen, the OP has to want it too. There is no obligation on OP's part to be her friend's sole holiday option.

Going away with your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/spouse is a totally different set-up to going away with a pal.

To be honest op, people on here always preach on about being assertive, having boundaries and not being pressured into doing things you don’t want to do. No is a complete sentence remember 😂

As soon as someone does that they are automatically a shit friend. You want to go away with the new man and you don’t want to go away with her, it’s that simple really and you should just do what you want. The sniff of cock remark is vile and would put me off her anyway, who does she think she is?

I can see why she’s a bit peeved from her pov but I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong. Would people really expect you to go along with her just to keep her happy?

Which is fine

But op wasn't honest. She led her along that she wanted to go away with her, made up excuses to never commit to a booking and then as soon as she gets a boyfriend, has a weekend away planned

Absolutely fine to not want to go away with a friend. But be honest in the first place rather than stringing her along.

Be careful op because if/when your new relationship goes tits up you’ll want your friend around.

You don't sound like a very good friend, and you are clearly incompatible. From your posts you don't seem to like her at all. Do her a favour and cut her loose. She deserves better

Why would you not have different bedrooms? Not sure how her being overweight would impact your trip.

I do see what she means but dont like the way she put it.

Why? OP doesn’t owe her friend a holiday, and never agreed to go away with her.

Wow. You are unbelievably nasty.

Your friend deserves better friends

Really surprised by the responses here. I wouldn’t expect any friends to go on weekends away with me. There’s no way we have the budget for that type of thing. I don’t know any women my age who would habitually prioritise that over an occasional break with a partner, which you arguably kind of ‘need’ more to ensure you get a chance to really focus on each other.

Going away overnight anywhere is definitely more of a couples’ thing (or solo thing!) to do, in my mind. Or it’s something very young people do as they’re exploring the world.

I wonder if it’s generational? I’m early 50s. The last time I went on an overnight break with a friend was like, age 19 or something. Sounds draining tbh — I love my friends but wouldn’t want to be socially ‘on’ all day/evening/next day.

OP doesn’t want to go away with her because she’s ‘overweight and snores’ and has other annoying habits, so I don’t think she otherwise considers her a good friend. It’s totally understandable that the friend is a bit upset about it, although I agree her language was rubbish.

If my friend had been single for 3 years and wanted to prioritise a weekend away with a new man, I'd be ecstatic for her! Going away with a friend is completely different to a date. She's out of order. * *

Team friend here. Doesn't sound like you even like her?!

Exactly! A weekend away with a new partner is different from one with an old friend, I’d hope so anyway! OP doesn’t owe her friend a holiday.

Surprised by the replies tbh. OP's time isn't an equal opportunities scheme. What are we saying - that unless and until she can afford two trips away she mayn't spend a weekend away with her new boyfriend? That's not a reasonable position for her friend to take imo. But if she's otherwise a good friend, I'd reassure her that she isn't being sidelined in the general scheme of things, just for this particular 48 hours. "Sniff of cock" is a horrible phrase though and makes her sound jealous and shaming.

Why on earth did you tell her how silly

So you are projecting your situation on poor OP and making her responsible for your friend’s poor behavior? Does that make sense to you?

Yeah I’d be pissed at u

Then you could have had another reason for separate rooms
I just like my own space

Tell her a white lie that he’s actually treating you to the weekend away and that it’s not something you could afford or plan otherwise. If she questions why you’re only saying that now, say you didn’t want to go into financial details.

I get invited to plenty of things I don’t want to do, so I don’t do them. Sometimes it’s necessary to make an excuse to save someone’s feelings!

The more you post about her, the more I think you just don't like her. She is highly strung and too fat and has habits too gross to share a room with her.

Maybe you never liked her very much, or maybe it's a new thing.

Anyway, if you don't care for her company, why does her opinion matter to you? Just do what you like.

Admit it
You didn't want to go away with her
So why lead her on and not use your words and be honest
I can't have himmers and hawers
Fence sitters
No wonder she is annoyer