Friend has gotten really funny due to my weekend away with man

Well you absolutely could have said that you struggle to sleep due to her snoring, that’s perfectly valid. But to be honest from the way you talk about it doesn’t seem like you like her very much, so rather than being fake, why don’t you just be honest and tell her you don’t want to go away with her? That way she’ll know where she stands.

She has a point. You should have gone away with your friend, a 2 bed cottage would have been perfect and are not expensive. She is probably feeling really hurt.

I’ve had similar done to me.

What a dreadful expression. I'm not sure I would want to be a friend of someone who spoke to me like that.

Yes but if you want actual relationships with people, no is a complete sentence is bollocks

This is the first time OP has dated in 3 years, of course a weekend with the new man is going to be preferable and more exciting.

The friend sounds crude and jealous.

Are you planning on having a separate bathroom to your boyfriend to avoid “that annoyance”?

Bloody hell! You sound like a charmer and no mistake.

I can 100% see why your friend is upset.

On the other hand, I had a friend who effectively dropped me when I got together with my now husband. She'd make plans, and cancel when I was on my way there, or not reply to me for weeks, or show up late and say she could only stay for half an hour as she's arranged to meet someone else later. Then, when she met her partner, she was very keen on double dates and dinner parties with us.

We could just as easily tell the OP's friend: don't be the mate who can't be happy for her friend when she falls in love.

"Sisters before misters", to quote another poster, is not really a good rule. It's not that simple. It may well be that the man will be the one who's around forever and the mate isn't.

I didn't know we were all morally obligated to go on holiday with friends. Sure, I loved it when I was younger, but these days there are very few people I'd want to be trapped with for several days. It doesn't mean I'm a bad friend! Eg. one of my closest friends I will NEVER go on holiday with ever again. (Went away lots when we were young.) I like her but she's so controlling and over-sensitive, I can only handle her in small doses.

She’s not wrong.

On the snoring/ separate bedrooms etc that's obviously a bigger cost than sharing with the boyfriend too. So the financial reason alone makes sense to me.

But OP never committed, for various reasons. No exchange of ideas, no yes if I can afford it - just a noncommittal "mm that sounds nice", from what I've read.

If I suggested a weekend away with a friend, and she said "mm maybe, I'll have to check xyz", I'd leave it with her. If she later said she's going on a weekend away with a new boyfriend, I'd be delighted for her. And suggest dinner and drinks to hear all about when she got back.

Isn't that the extent of what happened here, or should have been, except OPs friend is a bit possessive and jealous?

Hmm. I lost a friend because she started seeing someone and instantly dropped our pre-arranged plans so she could go and shag him instead. I called her out on it (which was huge for me as a perpetual people pleaser) and she ghosted me. Don't be the friend who drops her mates for a new man. He might not be around forever and that's when you'll want your friends.

Her wording was harsh but she's right.

Yeh I do think your mate is being a bit of a dick (pardon the pun). She should be thrilled for you that you are getting some long overdue action. Lets face it, a girls weekend will not offer than same at all. Its an exciting new time for you OP. Dont let her sourness ruin it.

uh oh. The votes not going well

Completely agree with this.

OP has a new boyfriend. She's allowed to spend a weekend away with him, instead of with the best friend she sees 3-4 times/ month anyway. The best friend taking issue with that, and the disgusting expression she used about it, are the problems here.

@Laurenn25 enjoy your weekend with the boyfriend. Maybe rethink the friendship though - I'm not sure she's all that happy for you.

I seem to be the only one who found 'sniff of cock' funny. If someone had said that to me Id have laughed and said, 'your not wrong. i love you, but cock wins'. But me and my mates talk to each other like this, and we totally get that a mucky weekend is a lot more exciting than a girls weekend.

she has some habits which to be honest grate when I’ve had a weekend away with her before, the suggestions she made were all pricier than I’d have liked (I made other suggestions which she wasn’t keen on) So is it the snoring or the money? If the money is one of the reasons, then why do you even need to bring up her weight or the snoring?

The op should have given a clear no her friend clearly thought a mates weekend break was on the cards and thus the disappointment.

People need to be clearer in their intentions and words.

No friend I won’t holiday with you as you snore like a rhino. Rather than maybe if everything falls into place that would be great.

I just love the expression sniff of cock tho 😂

They had been discussing where to go and swapping ideas though, can you really not comprehend at all why the friend may be a little upset that OPs now said no because of not being able to afford 2 trips? Have you never felt disappointment about something that isn’t 100% rational before?